SCUM TWENTY: Packaging

Jim LotFP

The Keeper of Metal
Jun 7, 2001
5,674
6
38
49
Helsinki, Finland
www.lotfp.com
Oh dear. More marketing madness. Remember, music is not enough. Your music purchase dollar is completely wasted unless it includes an elaborate package around it. Liner notes with lyrics and credits are not enough. A music package must be completely drenched in relevant artwork and an impressive box.

Obviously, better looking music sounds better.

It can get both remarkable and remarkably stupid. 'n Crugu Bradului had a special edition consisting of a hand-crafted box with an actual leaf from the tree that was a focus of the album. (Fuck the leaf; give me the rake they used to collect the leaves because that must be one heavy metal rake indeed.) It's relevant but… a leaf? In an album? We have Eddie's Archive offered for sale complete with a shot glass, we have Metalogy with metal studs all over it, and we have Rain of a Thousand Flames with pop-up book technology.

The stupidity doesn't even have to be so flagrant. Record companies subliminally chastise fans who don't buy the special edition by including the credits for special editions (with their bonus tracks) in the booklets… which appear in every edition! I enjoy nothing more than buying an album and finding references in my purchase to songs that are not included. Bonus tracks are garbage anyway, but having it implied in my purchase that I have a lesser or incomplete version is just unacceptable.

The reason these things are being done has entirely to do with industry pressure. Heavy metal must compete for shelf space with popular music, and they need to stand out to be stocked by retailers. Why should a music store stock Cryptobeast instead of The Emancipation of Mimi? Which is more likely to sell? Obviously the one in a digipak. Then record companies have to deal with the fact that fans download music. They must come up with ways to entice people to believe that the album is worth buying by giving something that can't be downloaded. Only the record industry would respond by creating more intricate, more expensive alternatives to illegal free downloading.

The funny thing is once the record companies began making their packages more elaborate, everyone picked up on it. Fans liked the idea of something new and impressive, so they were quick to buy the hot new holographic digibook that came with free pogs, and forgot that the music inside was the same old shit. Maybe it was the same old magnificence. But the music inside a package is not made more valuable because of its package. Musicians saw these packages as a status symbol, so instead of concentrating on making the best album possible, they also became art directors for their CDs and whiny little bitches to their financiers about the magnificence of the box that the actual important stuff was going to be housed in. Music sucks and is incidental to the entire process! Marketing wins yet again!

…Why are the vast majority of CD booklets printed on that paper that stains and gets discolored when they are touched? Should a person have to wear gloves in order to keep their album collection in pristine condition?

Another insulting ingredient in albums is advertising. While the days of having an order form for Blue Grape merchandise physically grafted to the liner notes are gone, record companies are still throwing all sorts of advertising in the package. Inside Out puts little catalogs in there. Nuclear Blast has that Dr. Blast ad campaign. Century Media puts in a mail-order catalog. You think you're buying a heavy metal album and what you're getting is advertising. They can't let the consumer have a chance to feel as if they've made a satisfying purchase, companies have to make them feel as if they have to buy more, more, more, and they have to assault customers with this message as soon as they open the package. I have a new tactic. I am going to fill out every order form I receive in albums I buy, but I am going to invent non-existent names and addresses, and write in non-existent credit card information. With luck, some poor warehouse worker is going to open the mail, pull the order, and then figure out that they can't charge it or send it anywhere. Get your advertising out of things I already paid for, assholes.

…why are albums manufactured with the promotional garbage stuck directly to the case? After you buy the damn thing, are you going to care about what scores it got in the magazines? Or upcoming tour dates that are out of date three months after the album is released? STOP IT! Put it on the plastic wrapping if you must put it on at all.

Why do people forget that the purpose of the CD case is to physically protect the CD? People drop their albums these days, crack the case while the contents remain unharmed, and become upset.

The vast majority of albums can be produced cheaper if they are packaged in those slim line CDs. If a record company started packaging full-length albums that way, I guarantee that 99% of heavy metal fans would start complaining about that missing 1/8th of an inch of thickness in their package. Yet the insert could be a cassette style J-card foldout with no loss of information in the release itself. The little spokes that the CD rests on never break in the CD single cases like they do in every standard CD case. The same album would take half the space. Somebody get it done.