i think laughing is the more "receptive"
side of humor. personally, i enjoy a woman who seems to not laugh at the joke, but laughs at me for being such an idiot. to me, thats a female-appropriate role for displaying wit.
it seems to me there is a flat out black and white difference between a real humor, and "staged" humor. there is no criteria, its just a vibe. when two people fail to be funny or interesting, they are usually in staged humor mode. unfortunately, some people get stuck and stay there for most of their life, regardless of gender.
and the competitive part, yes. i feel that, and its frustrating, especially when there is no doubt that i'm the little dog in a situation. but, you see, thats the female's fault for co-perceiving the situation that way. my competition (also a male) notices this too, and together we rise above the female. females pretend to do the same, but they seem to take it a bit more "seriously".