Quote:
Originally Posted by War Ensemble
I look forward to your thoughts on the show.
|
Cross post from RC (with some director's cut dialogue for HC throw in)
We reached the venue around 6ish, where we stopped at the Rock Bottom bistro for some classically prepared culinary delights and potations of the utmost fermented variety. After half a dozen rounds we voyaged on over to the posh venue where we were surrounded by brave emo warriors decked out in battle paint.
The metal scene is turning in to a God damn characterization of cartoonish proportions. Please die, I beggeth of thee. Anyhow, we missed Suikoden, Shoduken, Dragon Punch, Suidakaka, or whatever the fuck their faggoth name is, and showed up just in time for Eluveitie. My first impression was that the hurdy gurdy player needed to femjack down my esophagus. Aside from her wonderous appearance, the music was the equivalent of having your door bell rung repeatedly while you sat helplessly on the shitter. Can someone please make this disingenuous Anders Friden fanboy toting the flute put a sock in it? Sadly, it appeared that 80% of the crowd were there to see the incarnation of folk In Flames. (No resemblance to Lunar Strain era
) Downright ghastly, and mind you, this was six beers in. There's no martini strong enough that could make these 9 misfits sound soothing to these ears. Though, it's good to see that Slipknot finally decided to drop the masks.
Next up was Tyr. Considering this was the band that I paid money that I earned working with torpid titmouses to see, they left a little to be desired. A scant four song set, with two of the offerings being unknown selections from their forthcoming album. Still, they were a cleansing experience from the horrendous exposure of Eluveitie. That bitch really needs to femjack down my throat.
Anyhow, Turisas was the next band up on the plank, and thar she blew me out of the water faster than Jenna Jameson in a YMCA jacuzzi. As Turisas gallantly ravaged the foundation of the auditorium, I was desperately in search for my Xiphos knife, as I wanted to dispatch of the formation of Argive faggoths that noodle danced in my general vicinity. Oh how glorious would it have been, had they never existed at all. God damn myspace. Reverting away from my digressive ramblings, Turisas was a top notch act that brought the thunder of Ares to the table of Thanos. Yeaaaaaaaa nikkuh.
Last but not least were Ensiferum. A nice generous mix of songs from
Iron that had me bobbing my head like Profanity at a bus stop. People with Asperger's syndrome are human beings God damn it! BTW The lead vocalist bares a striking resemblance to Hell Mike Motor Bike of Lethal (Swe) fame.
All in all it was a good night to be had. Didn't hold a candle to either Heathen Crusade though. The bar has been raised too high.