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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:28 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Esto es uno que va a la ferretería y le dice al ferretero:
- "¿Me viene a arreglar la puerta del portal, en la Calle del pez 44?
- "¿Eso está donde?
- "Encima de la Iglesia".
- ¿Seguro?
- "¡No voy a estar seguro, si vivo encima desde hace 27 años"
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:28 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Estaban 2 tomates en el congelador:

- Coño, que frío hace aqui.

- Hostias. un tomate que habla.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:28 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Estan dos tipos.

Un notas dice: Bla, bla, bla (...) bla, bla, bla...

El otro harto le responde: Tio, rayas.

Y dice el notas: Venga, ya que invitas.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:29 PM   #29 (permalink)
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- Oye, que tienes un pelo en la lengua.

- Pues no sé de que coño será.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:29 PM   #30 (permalink)
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¿En que se parecen las patatas Pringles a tener diarrea?

En que cuando haces pop, ya no hay stop.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:30 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Un amigo le dice al otro:

- Oye, te llamo por la cortadora de césped.

- ¡¡no me digas!!, ¡¡¡pues se escucha de lujo!!!
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:30 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Sacado de Pulp Fiction (versión en español).

Estan 3 tomates, mamá tomate, papá tomate y bebe tomate.

Van andando por la calle y el bebe va mas despacio que el resto y se descuelga, a lo que el padre se enfada, se da la vuelta y lo aplasta diciendo, Ketchup!.

Proximamente, versión en espanglish.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:31 PM   #33 (permalink)
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- Se abre el telón y se ve a una mujer que va a la peluquería y está cerrada... ¿Cómo se titula la película?
- Ah! Te rizas comos puedas
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:31 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Suicida mata a su hermano gemelo por equivocación.

Quien ríe el último, piensa mas lento.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:31 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Dos putas en un ascensor
-Joder como huele a lefa
-Perdón me eche un erupto
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:32 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Dos niñas de 6 años
-Me ha salido un pelo en el coño
-Y no te molesta para follar?
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:32 PM   #37 (permalink)
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- Se abre el telón y se ve un gnomo del bosque, sentado en el hombro de un tío que parece muy simpático... ¿Cómo se titula la película?
- El duende sobre el tío guay
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:33 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Se abre el telón y se ven 3 gitanos.

Desaparece el telón.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:33 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Dos viejos verdes se cruzan con una tenn con una minifalda exagerada...

- "Mira, a esa no se le ve el coño por los pelos"
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:34 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Se abre el telón y aparecen tres vectores linealmente independientes, ¿como se llama la pelicula?

Rango 3
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:34 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Dos moscas por el desierto
-Sesuda eh?
-y tu cabezuda
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:35 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Uno que entra a una tieda con el dependiente argentino
-Queria colgate
-y yo matate y escupite
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:35 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Y la madre lo mató con la pistola de su marido, que era charcutero pero tenía licencia de armas y claro, se le subió la sangre a la cabeza con el niño tocando los cojones todo el dia. Además no sabia si quería chapata o candeal.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:35 PM   #44 (permalink)
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-Manolo, Manolo, a ver si me podías prestar un calzoncillo.

- Toma este mismo.

- ¿Y cómo se usa?

- Lo marrón patrás y lo amarillo palante
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:36 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Se abre el telón y se ven dos sistemas lineales incompatibles. ¿Cómo se llama la película?

Kramer contra Kramer.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:36 PM   #46 (permalink)
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- Mamá, no me gusta la abuela.

- Pues déjala a un lado y cómete aunque sea el puré.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:37 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Erase ese peasooo de niñooo que no hablaba! Hasta los 8 años sus padres intentaron todo tipo de terapias hasta que un día sentado a la mesa dijo.
-Falta sal.
(la mama)-coño pedrito, como es que no has hablado hasta ahora?!?!?!
-Es que hasta el momento todo estaba correcto.
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:37 PM   #48 (permalink)
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- Mamá, mamá, ¿Qué es robar?

- Calla hijo y sigue corriendo...
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:38 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Mamá que se te están pegando las lentejas.
Dejalas que se maten!
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Old October 25th, 2007, 12:38 PM   #50 (permalink)
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-Mariano, despierta, que son las siete".

- "¡Que pasen!"
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