Best review of a Power Metal album EVER!!!!

GateXII · June 5th, 2008, 09:41 AM

http://www.bravewords.com/hardwares/1001341

Text:

POWER QUEST

Master Of Illusion

(Napalm)

Reviewed by : Martin Popoff
Rating : 3.5

Not sure why UK bands struggle with power metal. You’d think it would be a natural, given ancient history and the more recent NWOBHM, yet here’s another saccharine keyboard-popped act turning in cliché after cliché, from the cover art through the band and record title, into every pore of the music. The production is appropriately prissy, with staccato guitars massaged in as rhythm support to those clean, clear vocals and attendant Sonata/Bodom keyboard tones. It’s over hill and dale with a spring in your step, off to the medieval fair, for a joust and a swing ‘round the maypole. Zero desire to live in the real world here, and zero desire to carve out any fresh spot in the dungeon and dragons realm in which the band is caged, frilly sleeves fraying. Yeah, granted, I can only tolerate pi percent of the power metal pie, but even earnest fans of the genre would have a hard time finding interesting elements to this, save for a thorough demonstration of synth settings.

Damn...that's some funny shit!!

Will Bozarth · June 5th, 2008, 09:44 AM

that RULES!

The_Q · June 5th, 2008, 09:57 AM

I don't hold anything Martin Popoff writes or thinks as anything valid anymore. I met him and he's a pompous, arrogant, loudmouth prick. He thinks his opinions are the only opinions as well. I happen to like the new Powerquest album. Martin Popoff is a tool!

Pate · June 5th, 2008, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Q

I don't hold anything Martin Popoff writes or thinks as anything valid anymore. I met him and he's a pompous, arrogant, loudmouth prick. He thinks his opinions are the only opinions as well. I happen to like the new Powerquest album. Martin Popoff is a tool!

I agree with everything you said, except the Power Quest part since I haven't heard it.

And I have like 4 of his books, so you'd think I'd learn, huh?

GateXII · June 5th, 2008, 10:02 AM

Regardless of what anyone thinks of Martin...this review echoes pretty much exactly what all Power Metal "haters" think of the genre...which is what makes it hilarious!!!

It's just unfortunate for Power Quest that they were on the receiving end of this one.

Symphony · June 5th, 2008, 10:21 AM

Interesting....hehe! But medieval? dungeons and dragons?

booB · June 5th, 2008, 10:23 AM

It's kind of a bummer... because there are plenty of power metal bands that don't have that prissy, happy-go-lucky sound. Yet, they all get lumped into the same genre. That's why I split the genre into two sub-genres: dark power metal, and happy metal.

GateXII · June 5th, 2008, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booB

It's kind of a bummer... because there are plenty of power metal bands that don't have that prissy, happy-go-lucky sound. Yet, they all get lumped into the same genre. That's why I split the genre into two sub-genres: dark power metal, and happy metal.

Very true! But it's probably because the number of happy sounding power metal bands far outweigh the number of dark sounding pm bands. No?

Saladbar · June 5th, 2008, 10:55 AM

I really dislike the genre tags.
Some people call Iced Earth a Power Metal band which would put them in the same category as say.....Hammerfall. I think we would all agree they are 2 totally different bands.
I can't judge a band by what they are labeled, I'm not the biggest Powermetal fan but bands like Zandelle and Rhapsody get a lot of play in my house. Dungeons and Dragons lyrics don't really bother me cause if they did Dio would not exist in my collection, and I have quite a Dio collection.

It's like totally dissing a band for having rough vocals without even listening to the whole song.

ShadowLioness · June 5th, 2008, 11:37 AM

I must admit, that review was funny as hell. 95% of what gets dubbed as "Power Metal" I just can't get into. I do agree that most of it is the "happy" kind. I don't mind happy music, just sometimes not in the way certain bands present it in. ;-)

I will give everything a shot once, and sometimes I get pleasantly surprised, regardless of label.

Dr. Pete · June 5th, 2008, 02:25 PM

While I disagree with the review, and mine is posted on one of the webzines I write for (see sig, I think), I do find it hilarious. I should go back to doing more of those things, just to freshen up a bit.

June 5th, 2008, 09:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
GateXII Soul Collector Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 1,758	Best review of a Power Metal album EVER!!!! http://www.bravewords.com/hardwares/1001341 Text: POWER QUEST Master Of Illusion (Napalm) Reviewed by : Martin Popoff Rating : 3.5 Not sure why UK bands struggle with power metal. You’d think it would be a natural, given ancient history and the more recent NWOBHM, yet here’s another saccharine keyboard-popped act turning in cliché after cliché, from the cover art through the band and record title, into every pore of the music. The production is appropriately prissy, with staccato guitars massaged in as rhythm support to those clean, clear vocals and attendant Sonata/Bodom keyboard tones. It’s over hill and dale with a spring in your step, off to the medieval fair, for a joust and a swing ‘round the maypole. Zero desire to live in the real world here, and zero desire to carve out any fresh spot in the dungeon and dragons realm in which the band is caged, frilly sleeves fraying. Yeah, granted, I can only tolerate pi percent of the power metal pie, but even earnest fans of the genre would have a hard time finding interesting elements to this, save for a thorough demonstration of synth settings. Damn...that's some funny shit!! __________________ CHICAGO POWERFEST http://www.ChicagoPowerfest.com http://www.myspace.com/chicagopowerfest --- TWELFTH GATE http://www.TwelfthGate.net http://www.myspace.com/twelfthgate --- http://www.myspace.com/mortalmusic

June 5th, 2008, 09:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
Will Bozarth Hugh Manatee Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 27,884	that RULES! __________________ Oct 18 - Doug Stanhope in Philly Oct 30 - I play in Pitman, NJ Oct 31 - Robin Williams in Philly Nov 7 - Roger Moore in New York City Nov 9 - Don Rickles in Atlantic City Nov 14 & 15 - Heathen Crusade in Minneapolis Jan 17 - Metallica in Philly Feb 28 - Septic Flesh in Philly

June 5th, 2008, 10:02 AM	#5 (permalink)
GateXII Soul Collector Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 1,758	Regardless of what anyone thinks of Martin...this review echoes pretty much exactly what all Power Metal "haters" think of the genre...which is what makes it hilarious!!! It's just unfortunate for Power Quest that they were on the receiving end of this one. __________________ CHICAGO POWERFEST http://www.ChicagoPowerfest.com http://www.myspace.com/chicagopowerfest --- TWELFTH GATE http://www.TwelfthGate.net http://www.myspace.com/twelfthgate --- http://www.myspace.com/mortalmusic

June 5th, 2008, 10:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
Symphony PQ member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Southampton, UK Posts: 5,070	Interesting....hehe! But medieval? dungeons and dragons? __________________ Steve Williams - Keyboardist for Power Quest www.power-quest.co.uk www.myspace.com/powerquest www.napalmrecords.com www.intromental.com www.myspace.com/pqkeys

June 5th, 2008, 10:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
booB Señor Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Cleveland, OH USA Posts: 3,103	It's kind of a bummer... because there are plenty of power metal bands that don't have that prissy, happy-go-lucky sound. Yet, they all get lumped into the same genre. That's why I split the genre into two sub-genres: dark power metal, and happy metal. __________________

June 5th, 2008, 09:57 AM	#3 (permalink)
The_Q No More Posts Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,288	I don't hold anything Martin Popoff writes or thinks as anything valid anymore. I met him and he's a pompous, arrogant, loudmouth prick. He thinks his opinions are the only opinions as well. I happen to like the new Powerquest album. Martin Popoff is a tool!

June 5th, 2008, 10:55 AM	#9 (permalink)
Saladbar Jose Saladbar Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Elgin, IL Posts: 1,054	I really dislike the genre tags. Some people call Iced Earth a Power Metal band which would put them in the same category as say.....Hammerfall. I think we would all agree they are 2 totally different bands. I can't judge a band by what they are labeled, I'm not the biggest Powermetal fan but bands like Zandelle and Rhapsody get a lot of play in my house. Dungeons and Dragons lyrics don't really bother me cause if they did Dio would not exist in my collection, and I have quite a Dio collection. It's like totally dissing a band for having rough vocals without even listening to the whole song. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/josesalazarrocks

June 5th, 2008, 11:37 AM	#10 (permalink)
ShadowLioness \m/ \m/ Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Suburbs of Chicago Posts: 3,570	I must admit, that review was funny as hell. 95% of what gets dubbed as "Power Metal" I just can't get into. I do agree that most of it is the "happy" kind. I don't mind happy music, just sometimes not in the way certain bands present it in. ;-) I will give everything a shot once, and sometimes I get pleasantly surprised, regardless of label. __________________