We all live dreaming, so... post here your feelings, your thoughts, your dreams!

[|ngenius]

Hi, there. Some of you, my dear readers, know me as a"paranoic-crazy-sexual obsessed" man, so this thread will be a surprise to you. As far as I remember, we talked 'bout many intrascendent things, as polls or paranoic threads (At the Flames rules!). So I think we need a thread to post our intimate feelings or thoughts. Post here the best you can imaginate, your dreams! CARPE DIEM!

Btw: I really don't know if this thread will go on, but...

[Final_Vision]

im dreaming of getting up soon to go get some cornbread.......and im dreaming of getting a big giant rabbit to tap dance at my wedding.

[FatherVic]

Hummmm returning to the serious threads....by the hand of Bender??????
anyway.....
my feelings....kinda stressed these days, preparing a little journey, having to present some project at work, and feeling a little lonely. Still having the feeling of "surrounded" but still empty. Odd.
I also feel the escitement growing in me, as 19th december is getting near. The movie I've been waiting for two years is coming, and I can't believe it's finally here!!!!!
and for a dream....well I can't decide, well one that is not too personal, too posh or too selfish....I'd wish to meet somebody from this board in the future (no, I know I already know you |ngenius!!!!). It would be fucking amazing some type of meeting at wacken 2002!!!!
ehmmmm if the thread goes on, serious mental illness will be coming soon!!!!
fathervic (who loves to know what the rest of the world has in mind!)

[Final_Vision]

send me tickets Vic and well ride into Wacken in our good ol' trolley waving banners of "At the Flames of Tranquillity in a Misty Children of Amarth" all over the place damn I wish I could go to Wacken, SEND ME TICKETS AND WE SHALL ALL GO!

[NastyJoan]

My dream is to go to Europe and view all my favorites bands at the Dynamo Open Air or the Wacken Open Air.
The fact that I live in Chile makes thsi dream really hard to come true, but I hope with two ro three years of saving maybe on eday I will be there

See you ten!!!!!!

[|ngenius]

I must to say I'm sorry, 'cos I let you all alone to begin to explain about your private life, and I didn't say anything 'bout me. Well, it seems to be habitual here in Barcelona, but I'm feelin' a bit alone and sad the last days. (I know I feel a different loneliness than Master Melon). "Still having the feeling of "surrounded" but still empty", this is an usual feeling in this hard times, ppl seems to live in their own (ya usually do it, Vic) and this could flow out in despair.

I'm an inherent dreamer in fact. I really believe I can save the world, or almost do the best I can to improve the life of everyone is around me.

@Master Melon: As I said the last sunday, I wish to meet ppl, specially the fuckin' Final "interested on subventions to go to Wacken" Vision.

@NastyJoan: You're the second one I see from Chile in this forum. To travel to Europe isn't a dream hard to become true, ya know it, so fight and save money!!! Sólo aquello que creemos imposible resulta inviable.

@NastyJoan (bis): What in hell means "Grande es la U"?!?!? (The english translation is "big is the U letter", and I really don't understand what he means with that)

[rahvin]

i have many degrees of dreamscapes. here are some, starting from those most likely to come true.

- i hope to have a successful job/studies career (in my life these are intertwined)

- i wish to make a difference for my close friends and help them lead better lives.

- i wish to be remembered as someone who did his very best to understand human society, a clever scholar, a creative mind, a promoter of good ideas and destroyer of scams.

- i dream to actually be satisfied, at peace.

rahvin. (who's not sad or an idealist but was once called a 'cold, careless bear')

[Melancholia]

I'm turning pessimistic again......

I am thinking about my studying and life quite much lately...
I'm sick of my uni and I feel uncertain,I doubt something good will come out of this....
my marks are very satisfying so far,but oh,well I feel i will never manage to do sth good after the uni...probably i won't be able to find a good job,even after doing a Master.....
Maybe all this sound stupid,maybe i'm making such thoughts,because i'm totally bored of all this stupid classes we have this year
I'm constantly skipping classes,because i feel i'm wasting my time....

I am dreaming of moving from my town..... I'm tired of everything around here
and of a summer-trip to sweden-norway-iceland....

oh,what a selfidh post

[rahvin]

Originally posted by Melancholia
my marks are very satisfying so far,but oh,well I feel i will never manage to do sth good after the uni...probably i won't be able to find a good job,even after doing a Master.....
Maybe all this sound stupid,maybe i'm making such thoughts,because i'm totally bored of all this stupid classes we have this year
I'm constantly skipping classes,because i feel i'm wasting my time....

well, i think it's kinda common to have doubts, and all those long years at school/university surely add to the feeling of being quite aloof from doing something productive and exciting.
after all, though, cultured people with at least average-sized brains tend to find a decent job that somehow pays off for all those painstakingly skipped classes.

that was just to say you shouldn't worry too much just because classes look boring or inane. as long as you follow your interests and take that degree with you, you'll likely be able to do a lot of good things.

rahvin.

[atlantis]

I wish...

* to keep on seeking, in every aspect of life. Experience is never enough. I don't want to wake up one day and feel I've wasted my existence.

* to hold on, and never feel satisfied. I've never been, so far, and there's no reason to make it happen. When you feel at the end of the day, the travel is done, death is close.

* to keep on doing what I want to do, and never be cowardly. To keep on with the job I have now. To keep on traveling.

* to hold on with some resolutions I've made. And show to myself that I am able to be constant in something, once in a lifetime.

After all, I only wish to keep on and hold on.... ahahaha, I am really dumb.

AtlantisDonkeyGirl

[Melancholia]

"Still having the feeling of "surrounded" but still empty. Odd."

I know this feeling and it sucks Hope you'll feel better soon....

ah this loneliness feeling.....I feel surrounded,yet lonely....
I have a couple of friends from the uni,I like them a lot and respect them and find it cool to be out with them,yet I feel they will never understand me,there are too many things they don't know about me and we have way too different interests .....I don't feel like sharing my inner-thoughts with them
it's very sad...

I've always been an introvert and too shy

At least I have 2 net-friends and my boyfriend that really understand me and of course these boards,It's so nice to be here......and i'm very grateful......


Rahvin@ thanks for encouraging me

oh,everytime i'm in a mood i post such boring personal posts,sorry...

[|ngenius]

Well, I'm glad 'bout your posted messages and sincerity. Thanks to ya all.

@Mel: I know that feeling of uncertainly and doubt, and despite rahvin said it's common feeling, it's more habitual and extended than everyone think. We have the better possibilities of life of the History and live it in despair. But it can change, It will change!!!

In fact, I'm really afraid of my quite uncertain future, I not only wish... I NEED to find something, or someone to share my thoughts and dreams with. And this seems so difficult nowadays.

@rahvin: Ya can hide your mental illness and become serious sometimes. Cool! (I think I'm falling in love with ya, hahahah).

And one important thing 'bout your posted feelings of today: you all seems to be worry with the job. I never wished to consideer my studies or work as an important part of my life, I don't base my life in work. I know I need it, but I need to improve a lot of things more important than work, if you know what I mean.

CARPE DIEM!!!

[enitharmon]

Is it raining in Greece today Melancholia?

I am dreaming of a world where I can live with my boyfriend without comments from the others. Not that I care, but I am sick of listening that I can't be happy with him!
I am dreaming of a place without religion too. But people are too stupid to manage something like that

[|ngenius]

@enitharmon: You're living in a world where ya can stay with everyone you wish, despite of disagree opinions. But if everybody say you can't be happy with that person... almost think so much about the reasons they give ya.

And a world without religions? Well, to believe in something (believe in God, or whatever) isn't bad. And some religions adduce good manners and feelings to ppl that otherwise perhaps could fall in hate to their own lifes. But some unnecesary liturgies and extreme beliefs (like talibans that everybody talk about lately) are the bad side of the issue.

[Shrieker]

As far as is known, nobody has survived from the disease named 'death'. So, as established above, Life sucks

[enitharmon]

Originally posted by |ngenius
almost think so much about the reasons they give ya.

Their reasons are racistic, that's why I don't listen to them.

[Melancholia]

enitharmon@ no,it wasn't raining today,but it rained much during the weekend... (and snowed in some places)
The last 5-6 days the weather is cloudy,cold and dark,no stupid sun...it's my fabourite weather...


I feel very sad now,I wish it was day so that i could go out to walk a bit under my beloved clouds.....

I think our genius fellow poster |ngenius is right..you should listen to what others say and deicide whether they are wrong or not...Sometimes when people who care about you keep repeating something,there is a dose of truth in it..but on the other hand if the reasons are racistic and based on pure prejudice and fear I guess you should follow what your heart and mind says...
Never pay so much attention to others when they don't have a good reason to give.....

I feel so sad,I really wish i didn't have uni-work to deliver for tomorrow so that I could stay at my place and rot in sadness

[the face of smeg]

LIFE SUCKS !

i think the whole quote goes sumthin' like;

life sucks, then you die

well, at least that's how i've heard it.

well, i hope all religons will realise they're wrong, both major political parties in my country disband, & uni stops being obsessed with as much pointless & bannal things as school was...

[terria]

but one dream: being loved (in every aspect of this oh so painbringing word)

one hope: to overcome the doubt. although it's the driving force behind my life it kills me.
i cannot even trust my two best friends (one of them will join our board very soon) when it comes to believing them that i don't get on their nerves constantly. you know, they are my soulbrothers, my life, but still i CANNOT


as long as my friends are around the world is my toy.

as long as they aren't, i bleed. not very self-dependent, hm?

but after spending most of my puberty in depressions (not the "bad day/not feeling fine"-kind of but the pure fucking darkness tearing my fucked-up soul to pieces kind) i learned how to be happy.
this doesn't really express what i mean because in german there are two words for it: "fröhlich" which means you jump around in joy and sing songs about flowers [which is not what i mean] and "glücklich" which means you find yourself in deep peace with yourself and the pain that surrounds you... [this is what i mean]
suffering a permanent manic depression i can't maintain it all of the time but still sometimes it works. and that's great. sometimes.
as for the rest of the time i defintitely need more hugs *sigh*

i guess this is my first post NOT containing a smilie and i guess i'll leave it that way.

err, sorry.

[mousewings]

Originally posted by terria

as for the rest of the time i defintitely need more hugs *sigh*

*hug* from mousewings. (I know it is more appropriate for the stoner forum and I also am a newbie here, but I felt had to do that.)

I myself have also gone through a deep depression since junior high, but I am okay now and have finally learned to love myself... but it wasn't easy and I had to undergo many difficulties. I didn't do as well as I knew I could have in high school --I skipped and did mediocre work on some assignments--and regret it. (I missed by grade 12 scholarship by 3%, but got the 11 and 10 ones). I was incredibly depressed, felt I had nothing to live for, and basically hated my life. It is a cliche but music helped me a lot during that time...

One person who helped me through all this is my best friend... my only good friend... She still talked to me even if I withdrew from other people and acted creepy and horrible at times. I still am very... strange and don't feel I like most people I meet... but my friend accepts that and doesn't judge me. She is truly like a sister to me.

As for my dreams... I wish to do well in my current course (Library Technology) and have a successful career. I also want to meet my soulmate... someone who has something in common with me... and is... cool. I want to be happy. As for the dreams in my sleep, they mostly have to do with blood (so I won't go there).

Hmm... this is quite a thing for me to post, but I'll do it anyways.

[Melancholia]

Terria & mousewings@ I really wish you will both find real happiness and satisfaction in life.... Feeling depressed for the biggest part of my puberty,I think i can understand how you feel/felt....

I started feeling seriously depressed since i was 13 1/2-14 years old...had my last depressive month November 1999... Since then I haven't felt everything around me is collapsing,although i feel sad from times to times (like yesterday and probably today-I already feel a bit down) and was feeling totally empty for the last 3 summer-months...Have no idea how I managed to get through all this shit without doing any serious harm to myself...now I feel more balanced,have many plans for my life,though i still can't fully love myself and think positive for my future....
Music has helped a lot and love and being accepted the way i am was probably the key that helped me overcome all this...


I feel happy and satisfied with SOME parts of my life...and sometimes i wonder if this is all temporary......I shudder at the thought of losing my will to live and feel like i was feeling back then....

I guess painful experiences make people grow maturer and strong. Every awful period is succeded by a better one.
Keep these in mind...

This is the first time I am eing so open on a board.It seems that this board inspires me for personal confessions....Sorry for burdening you.....
take care of yourselves

[FatherVic]

I just can say WOW!!!
there are so many @mel, @rahvin, @lantis, @mousewings, @terria, @|ngenius, @whoever that I'd need some hours to write.
I deeply love this thread as leaves me a lid open from this dark box I'm in!
ehmmm glad to hear eveyone has opened.
I've never been understood, 'cause I've never wanted it. I've never opened my heart (just for my exgirlfriend though!!!!) and I still don't have the need to do it. My own feelings are so mine, so personal that I normally show my happy face to my mates.
It's not that "life sucks" thing. It's just that life is one of the greyish thing ever existed. There are black things as the ones happening in Afganistan, Africa and everywhere else. But still some white things as ppl who leave everything just save other helpless ppl. I would never give a thing for human being as a whole. I have never expected something good from our race. But I also think there are some that have they chance to change that feeling from me. I'm not talking 'bout me. I'm lost in this sense, but ppl like |ngenius and his "save_the_earth" thoughts. That gives me some little light.
I'm not based on my job/studies. I'd just love to live without them (but that's not possible in my situation)
I'd just love to have the guts to leave everything and travel to Greece to cheer up Melancholia, or going to California and paying his journey to Wacken, or helping |ngenius to save the world!! and definately would love to feel as atlantis, wanting to keep and holding on this I'm currently doing.

Now for the time I'm living now, I'd just love to get rid of this "defenceless" feeling as I've always been that ehhmmm "sure about myself" guy.
Thanx for bringing this patch of light, I'll keep showing up this thread, as I think one of the best thing of this forum is how WE get our innersenses to the rest of us!!!

[MacMoney]

*sigh*

I wish I had courage to open up like that.

[Malaclypse]

well i could empty my brain here, talking about what moves me, what offends me, what my motivations for living are. but i never felt like that. i'm not the type like exposing my problems to somebody else. i want to solve / get rid of them by myself. i know that's damn unwise as i bury some deep down, and they will rise in the most unfitting moments... but i can't help it. that's just the way it is. i only talk about these things if i'm somewhat drunk and with some good friends. what a fuck. i wish i wouldn't have these barrier, like macmoney said. it's the same with getting into conversation with females. i know this couldn't be all to hard and would surely benefit me ( well i COULD use a girlfriend again ), but nevertheless i simply don't manage it.
gee, yet i just told something which strangles my mind. funny. maybe it just lacks the persons one can talk to and who understand...

[|ngenius]

@Vulture: I know and accept many ppl are like ya, but I can't understand this kind of behaviour. You can't live alone, nobody can. And to live together is the way, in my opinion, to rise up the whole mankind (me and my typical optimism, as you can see... :P)

@Mel: Don't say excuses, a very big "Graciaaaaas!" to ya for improve this thread with your posts.

@mouse: Your "sister" is surely a great person, but there are some more like her. Live your life to find it.

@Master Melon: Q bonitooooo! XD

@Everybody: Thank ya. You probably see that I'm a fuckin' optimist, and my advices are usually to encourage you and paint the life in pink. I know to live is hard, and to feel alone in your own is quite common, more than all of us wish. But I think the key to rise again is to believe we are here together, as I said, and there are precious things in the world, things to make plenty our heart, our feelings, and our dreams, and some of you see it sometimes. Mel and Father have/had their couple, their mate in love. I never stayed with anybody 'cos I never found anybody, but I still believe! Some of ya have your family support, I have it with hard problems nowadays... but I still believe! I see the wars around the world, I saw the Twin Towers fall, but I still believe! When everything around you seems to fall... it's time to DON'T GIVE UP! I'm still here.