Zephyrus Debuts on The Metal Observer

[Zephyrus]

I wanted to give it a lower score, but I felt obligated to promote the local scene, even if it's a shitty gateway band. The band wanted me to review them, even though I shouldn't be reviewing genres of metal I'm neither fond of nor too acquainted with. Consequently, I wrote a review devoid of opinion on the music, and rather focused on the target audience. I did have fun attacking their purpose of "balance between technical prowess and mainstream appeal."

[cookiecutter]

Fair enough

[Zephyrus]

Yeah, that was a review from back when I just had the blog. But now that I'm on TMO, they will send me mostly Black Metal promos with some Death and Doom Metal too.

I was just sent some promos for Herem, Abomino Aetas and Ashen Banners. Will start on those tomorrow.

[WeAreInFlames]

Originally Posted by Go Forth and Die

Go mad with power.
Start up a harem of slightly chubby metal chicks.

I'm imagining Zeph as one of those 80's glam guys, surrounded by legions of fans, with lines of beautiful women outside the bus and several kilos of cocaine, with an absolutely unchecked ego, and then winding up 2 years later in an ally telling his story to passers by.

Originally Posted by Zephyrus

Yeah, that was a review from back when I just had the blog. But now that I'm on TMO, they will send me mostly Black Metal promos with some Death and Doom Metal too.

I was just sent some promos for Herem, Abomino Aetas and Ashen Banners. Will start on those tomorrow.

Exactly how much free shit do you get?

[Einherjar86]

Zeph, you should review some Bishop of Hexen. The Observer doesn't have any material by them up yet.

[just metal]

even thu that's very late but I must say congrats, I wasn't surprised when I read it the thread, you totally deserve it.

[Joe Forth and Die]

Originally Posted by WeAreInFlames

I'm imagining Zeph as one of those 80's glam guys, surrounded by legions of fans, with lines of beautiful women outside the bus and several kilos of cocaine, with an absolutely unchecked ego, and then winding up 2 years later in an ally telling his story to passers by.

"You ever done cocaine mixed with a chicks tit milk whilst losing all your money on Whore Races?"
"What?"
"How about fucked 6 girls at once"
"What the fuck? Leave me alone"
"I was someone once... I did all those things..."
Before shaking his fist at the sky, falling to his knees and yelling
"METAL OBSERVEEEEEER"

[Geralt of Rivia]

[Zephyrus]

Originally Posted by WeAreInFlames

Exactly how much free shit do you get?

I'm starting off at a rate of about 3 promos every 2 weeks, but that will increase with continuing service. Alex, who runs the joint, gets tons tons more on his plate. And most promos are sent to me through rapidshare or megaupload, one of those...

Originally Posted by Einherjar86

Zeph, you should review some Bishop of Hexen. The Observer doesn't have any material by them up yet.

It's possible they're working on a new album, but if you'd really like to see my review The Nightmarish Compositions, I can pull that off.

Originally Posted by Go Forth and Die

"You ever done cocaine mixed with a chicks tit milk whilst losing all your money on Whore Races?"
"What?"
"How about fucked 6 girls at once"
"What the fuck? Leave me alone"
"I was someone once... I did all those things..."
Before shaking his fist at the sky, falling to his knees and yelling
"METAL OBSERVEEEEEER"

I think I'll take the harem over that, sans the slight chubbiness.

[Joe Forth and Die]

Originally Posted by Zephyrus

]I think I'll take the harem over that, sans the slight chubbiness.

When's the last time you saw a non-slightly-chubby metal chick?
EDIT: I just realised off the top of my head from this forum we got Neurotica, Amy and Katie (Alestorm forums). So yeah.
I retract that statement.