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March 18th, 2012, 10:54 AM
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#8676 (permalink)
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A Watchful Eye & Wisdom
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Babylon, A.D.
Posts: 12,547
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Redwings? 
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The conflict is pure
The truth devised
The future secured
The enemy designed
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March 18th, 2012, 11:51 AM
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#8677 (permalink)
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Houses Ov Mercury
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Encased Within A Mile-Deep Pit Of Feces (or, Lowell, MA)
Posts: 31,861
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Addo_Of_Nex
Story of utter failure:
My girlfriend and I decided to have sex last night; both of us were virgins. To keep a long story short and PG, I simply couldn't maintain the proper state to engage in coitus every time a condom came into play (four in total before I just gave up); and not for lack of arousal or attraction to her. There was a similar problem the night before when we were fooling around and I couldn't maintain it for the life of me. This time it took 45+ minutes, of vigorous, concentrated effort just to get anything done. Fucking absurd. Evidently I'm a maestro with oral though, so it wasn't a completely unsuccessful endeavor.
TMI note: It's extra disheartening because I could have been a part of the elite that revoked the V-card on the same day they were given their red wings.
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Haha! I had the same problem a few years back. Literally every part of your post reminds me of myself then. AND we share a birthday. AND we're both awesome. Hello other-self.
Last edited by V.V.V.V.V. : March 18th, 2012 at 11:58 AM.
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March 18th, 2012, 12:18 PM
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#8678 (permalink)
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I <3 Finnish Death Metal
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Peoria, Illinois
Posts: 6,072
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When I heard that last night I lol'd hard. Can't say I'd act any differently though.
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March 18th, 2012, 01:09 PM
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#8679 (permalink)
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Drug the Priest
Join Date: May 2005
Location: the bowels of lochness
Posts: 4,177
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I got it! Fuck the condoms and have your gf take the pill or just fuck the pill and fuck her and pull out before organism.
Then of course there's always....abortion >_>
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March 18th, 2012, 01:10 PM
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#8680 (permalink)
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Tyrants and Slaves
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Maine or Iowa
Posts: 24,069
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I'll take condoms over a pill that fucks with her hormones and diminishes her sex drive.
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March 18th, 2012, 02:32 PM
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#8681 (permalink)
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Wiener Blut
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Under the Everflow
Posts: 7,310
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I just have to say, one of those girls I met is vietnamese and she's really pretty. So I don't know, I guess I'm pro interracial now. Krampus should be happy.
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March 18th, 2012, 02:42 PM
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#8682 (permalink)
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Orphaned Brother
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 1,538
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SentinelSlain
I just have to say, one of those girls I met is vietnamese and she's really pretty. So I don't know, I guess I'm pro interracial now. Krampus should be happy.
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March 18th, 2012, 03:43 PM
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#8683 (permalink)
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In battle there is no lol
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Prague
Posts: 6,106
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xorv
I got it! Fuck the condoms and have your gf take the pill or just fuck the pill and fuck her and pull out before organism.
Then of course there's always....abortion >_>
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Xorv, it's either pull out before orgasm or pull out the organism. Not the other way around. |
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March 18th, 2012, 04:22 PM
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#8684 (permalink)
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Die young, die beautiful.
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: beyond reproach
Posts: 13,568
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I gave a girl an organism once for her birthday. She was very happy with it.
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March 18th, 2012, 04:53 PM
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#8685 (permalink)
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Fuck of Death
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peoria, Illinois
Posts: 1,562
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Quote:
Originally Posted by V.V.V.V.V.
Haha! I had the same problem a few years back. Literally every part of your post reminds me of myself then. AND we share a birthday. AND we're both awesome. Hello other-self.
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 <3
Thanks for the words, mangs/mangettes. I'm especially going to read up on organisms and their relation to my conundrum. |
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March 18th, 2012, 06:32 PM
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#8686 (permalink)
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Die young, die beautiful.
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: beyond reproach
Posts: 13,568
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodens Grav
You're not how God intended.
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decided to sig this...  |
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March 18th, 2012, 07:51 PM
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#8687 (permalink)
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Make Money, Fuck Bitches
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Against The Wind
Posts: 11,818
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I didn't get laid in Austin, I was a little disappointed with that. But partying down there was crazy to say the least.
I have a date Saturday with the Asian broad I posted a few pages back.
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March 18th, 2012, 08:08 PM
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#8688 (permalink)
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Tyrants and Slaves
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Maine or Iowa
Posts: 24,069
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Rape that Nanking ass.
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March 19th, 2012, 12:57 AM
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#8689 (permalink)
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Orphaned Brother
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 1,538
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So stop being a faggot and do the deed.
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March 19th, 2012, 04:22 AM
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#8690 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 3,724
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New administration chick who is also an HSE scientist in my office. She's hot. MUST.... RESIST...
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March 19th, 2012, 09:29 AM
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#8691 (permalink)
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Klingons do not faint
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: KLINGON
Posts: 7,538
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DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT
Hahaha. Yeah PhlegethonVeins is right, I'd rather take my chances with abortions and morning after pills than compromise my libido and gain a bunch of weight and feel like shit all the time. It's not worth it to me.
Most dudes I know hate condoms, it's like fucking a plastic bag.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Death Delirium
You're just some weird looking asian chick...And when you take a shit in the morning it smells. The difference of you and me is none. So where you get your arrogance from is beyond me, but anyone who's a decent individual would most likely not be able to stand you because you think you're special. Basically what am trying to say is you suck cock. You have to suck cock. So fuck you! I'd destroy you. You don't even want to know what would happen to your cunt ass after I got done with you.
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March 20th, 2012, 01:41 PM
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#8692 (permalink)
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Wiener Blut
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Under the Everflow
Posts: 7,310
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I only hate them when they break.
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March 20th, 2012, 04:03 PM
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#8693 (permalink)
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Anoint My Phallus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Montreal
Posts: 18,116
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Condoms are fine. The problem is that not-condoms are a thousand times better.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodens Grav
Anybody who doesn't realize that Manowar is the ultimate pinnacle of heterosexuality has a fundamental misunderstanding of manhood, and possibly of metal as well.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JGMetalhead
Interchangeability of thought occurs through the experience of listening thus formulating a change of discern.
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A proud participant in the Tom Brady Ignore-A-Thon.
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March 20th, 2012, 09:38 PM
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#8694 (permalink)
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Tyrants and Slaves
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Maine or Iowa
Posts: 24,069
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My girlfriend is on birth control but she insists I wear a condom. I don't argue against it because I've never had much problem with the things. Sure it doesn't feel quite as good but it helps me last longer.
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March 20th, 2012, 09:47 PM
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#8695 (permalink)
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Autopsy Obsessed
Join Date: May 2005
Location: WI
Posts: 6,180
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My girlfriend hates condoms as much if not more than I do. Once you go in without its hard to revert back.
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March 20th, 2012, 11:15 PM
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#8696 (permalink)
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Vih-mah-nuh or विमान
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 11,190
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I put something retarded on my OKC profile when I was baked yesterday and I got two emails that people rated me 4/5 stars or something. Weird.
Edit: Here it is:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by I'm really good at
throwing eggs high in the air and catching them on my foot without breaking them like a fucking shaolin monk.
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March 21st, 2012, 12:09 AM
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#8697 (permalink)
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pre-op trans-centaur
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 6,290
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Get the ultra-thin condoms. They're so much better.
__________________
myspace.com/nightharvest
Quote:
Originally Posted by damnromulans
Asshole is bleeding from overuse.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monoxide_child
if it's a girl who's sleeping outside, or in a homeless shelter, you can take her to a cheap motel room that you've rented for one night, she'll have sex with you just so she can be in a motel room for a night
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March 21st, 2012, 12:33 AM
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#8698 (permalink)
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I <3 Finnish Death Metal
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Peoria, Illinois
Posts: 6,072
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Yeah, I've lost interest with that girl I met up with from OKC. I'll still text her and keep her as a friend, but I don't care enough to try and have a relationship with someone who lives so far away. Meh. Whatever.
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March 21st, 2012, 12:38 AM
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#8699 (permalink)
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Vih-mah-nuh or विमान
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 11,190
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Did she mention the whole parents thing at all?
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March 21st, 2012, 12:43 AM
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#8700 (permalink)
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I <3 Finnish Death Metal
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Peoria, Illinois
Posts: 6,072
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No, that was not an issue at all.
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