Skitzo - Vomitorium, Holy Moly, Live 1999 Concert
Morningstar Records - 2004
By Paddy Walsh
Good grief! Of all the dubious shite I've ever come across, this surely has to take the biscuit! Where to begin? A DVD containing three main sections; 'Vomitorium', 'Holy Moly', and a concert by Skitzo
, the band who are responsible for this mess. The PR and the DVD itself hype this as some kind of shocking 'extreme' viewing, but they're lying.
Vomitorium: If watching a long haired redneck puking green paint over some ugly bespectacled women in enormous bras while some godawful 'metal' plays in the background is shocking to you, then I guess Iíve been reading too many issues of Bizarre for my own good. Vomitorium drags on for ages, with Lance puking the same green gunk over and over again, over various women at various places until you won't be able to take anymore. Not because it's too horrifying for anyone's sensibilities. It's just that watching a guy who can puke at will do his little party trick repeatedly makes the novelty wear off just a little. The most notable bit is definitely the laughably bad 'promo video' for one of Skitzo's
songs 'Cellulite Cellular Bitch', which is cringe-worthy. Witness the overweight southerners swaying their hips in the background, or the song itself, which sounds like it was written by a five year old who stumbled on his dad's old KISS
record collection, and decided to make his own song. Predictably it 'climaxes' with the self styled barf-boy puking. Again.
'Holy Moly' purports to be a horror movie, but amounts to Lance pretending to be a priest (you're not fooling anyone with that hair bucko) encountering various evil shenanigans. Oh yay. This is actually hilarious for about 5 minutes, but soon becomes annoying. As for the concert footage of the band, it is just plain awful.
They claim this is a reunion concert, but by the looks of the audience they weren't very much missed in the first place, and for good reason.
So I recommend this to those of you who think they might have a puke fetish. Or Jerry Springer fans (yup, you guessed it, he was on that too). The rest of humanity should stay away. Lance's fifteen minutes have gone on for too long; the joke was barely funny in the first place. Am I just being a typical cynical snobbish European? Hey I can take large dollops of cheese at its worst, but when you start feeling an irksome pity for the poor bitches Lance pukes on in his shows, you know that something's not right.
Skitzo's Official Website