Mikael's live quotes

[Luann]

Let's compile all the funny quotes from the man.
I just readed the "you guys are so inmature" and thought about this.

.

[Savern]

At Wacken, first thing he said (in the pouring rain) was "I bet there are lots of wet girls out there!"

Same gig, to introduce Master's Apprentice's he just said "If you don't know this one, you're a fucking cunt!"

Brixton Academy, Defenders of the Faith -"So we have a new album called Watershed, we think its pretty cool. KD Lang also has an album called Watershed just out..... What the fuck!"

Memorable ones off the top of my head.

[Crackfare]

"mendez will soon post an autobiography on the nasty side effects of smoking marijuana"

"our music is pretty...but we are not dirty cunts....we are not fucking emo"

"i love you too....just not in that kind of way..."

[Vega Skater]

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!"

[Prog_Please]

"We are heavy metal... but with some beautiful acoustic parts. Some people say that's pussy. Those are the people that get no pussy."

[Psycroptipath]

"We have a new album out called watershed who likes it?"

*crowd cheers*

"I said do you like it?!"

*crowd cheers louder*

"Does anyone here not like the new album?"

*a few people cheer*

"Guards, kill them."

haha cant think of anymore at the moment.

[Fields Of Sorrow]

Originally Posted by Psycroptipath

"We have a new album out called watershed who likes it?"

*crowd cheers*

"I said do you like it?!"

*crowd cheers louder*

"Does anyone here not like the new album?"

*a few people cheer*

"Guards, kill them."

haha cant think of anymore at the moment.

Hahaha man that's awesome. The only ones I can remember right now are;

"This is our new guitarist... I bet a lot of you hate this guy, right?" *some people cheer* Then Mikael started to say something into the mic but started laughing before he could finish...

"You like my new guitar?" *cheers* "Yeah it's a paul reed smith... we've tuned them to loads of open tunings because we're just fucking gay like that" *most of the crowd stands in silence whilst I piss myself laughing*

[ozric]

"What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts."

[Azules31]

Just before Serenity Painted Death
'This guitar, ain't it beautiful? 24 carrot gold, with diamonds!
Lots of children died for this guitar'

Just before the encore songs
'Sorry about that, Mendez needed to take a piss!'

[Brave.Archangel]

mike is the coolest guy alive!

[Jackehh]

Originally Posted by Psycroptipath

"We have a new album out called watershed who likes it?"

*crowd cheers*

"I said do you like it?!"

*crowd cheers louder*

"Does anyone here not like the new album?"

*a few people cheer*

"Guards, kill them."

haha cant think of anymore at the moment.

HAHA best!

[BefriendedUnit]

"Got to get... into.... position." Before playing Deliverance.

[Dammnare]

From Turkey,20th of June:
"how's the game going? are you winning? sweden lost. to the russians the other night. so i don't give a fuck about football anymore."
"we are from sweden. we are a long way from home. we're very happy to be here. our band, is called opeth. we come from sweden. we are a long, long way from home. we're very, very, very happy to be here."
Just before Heir Apparent:"this song... i wrote a lyric, for this song... it was about... tits! it's not about tits anymore. but, i think of them all the time."
(someone gives mike a record of Ibrahim Tatlıses,who is a Turkish arabesque-folk musician) "i really love this guy. i already have this album actually. a song from blackwater park... we're not going to play this one now, but next time. this song.. is called bleak. we actually wrote that right after hearing ibo."
"we love you guys. we love you so much, that... well, if i didn't have a wife.. mhmhmgm"
"we want to come back a thousand times."
"we're going to play a song... and if you know whose song that is, we'll play our songs. if you don't... we'll play you roxette songs instead. [crowd stays silent] it was a judas priest song. so now, we'll play you the look by roxette. .... actually, i fucking hate roxette."
"we were going to play more songs from the new album... but we've been busy with kids and stuff like that... so we didn't have time to rehearse... we don't know how to play the songs yet."
Just before Serenity Painted Death:"we're going to play a song now... that we never play... because it's very difficult to play. so we don't like playing it. it's a good song, but we don't like to play it. ... we don't like to play this fucking song."
"we usually play one encore... but as you know... you get two!"

[sundance]

wacken
"the next song is called the leper affinity...and if you don't headbang, you're a fuckin' pussy"

"soilwork is playing over there. shit, I wanted to see them. anyway, they come from the south of sweden. there only live fuckin farmers"

[applestuddel]

Wiltern, LA
"If you don't like this song, it means that you're a retard. So this is like... a big IQ test."

"It's little Rock n Roll tune, very soft."

*Plays Deliverance*

[Wander]

Found a journal in last.fm with some hilarious Mikael quotes:
http://www.last.fm/user/Nilfheim/jou...ldt%27s_quotes...

My favorite:

[introducing The Grand Conjuration] “This is the first song we did a video for and lo and behold… It wasn’t very good.”

Simply awesome thread this is.

[Annihilat0r]

Originally Posted by Azules31

24 carrot gold

what, hahahahaha

[Iki-ilkkuja]

"We always come back, and next time we'll be making faces when we play solos (bends miserably)."

[Yaow!]

"So we have a new album called Watershed, we think its pretty cool. KD Lang also has an album called Watershed just out..... What the fuck!"

Then at the end of the show he was naming all of the band members, and when it was mendez's turn he said "and martin mendez was also on this album" it was just random but funny at the time lol

[Sefeed]

"Tonight, I am your boss and you...are my employees. This means you do whatever the fuck I say, without pay."

Random guy: I want a raise!

(after a song)

"You guys did well on that one, your raise is 60 seconds of gloating at my crotch" *moves guitar to display crotch area to crowd*

[Heir Apparent]

First thing he says to the crowd "It's hot up here....like sexy"
Someone yells "you fucking rock" mike says "I fucking stink....no really I smell like shit"
Some yells for them to play BRI, "that song stinks, it's a gimmick, you only want to here it because its long....which makes it awesome."
Some one yells CAMEL. Mike starts playing and singing a bit from Lady Fantasy, "I bet you think this sounds like children's music, they are good so fuck you".
"Axe has this pair of jeans they smell like piss, cum, shit and vomit. It's only 4 shows into the tour".
"If theres something I hate it's dancers, people who try to make a living out of dancing. Except for one dance, and thats the electric boogie, and robot moves.....I would love to learn that shit."

[foodforthegods]

Quebec city october 26 2006

-Mike: We got 2 more songs to play!
Crowd cheers
-Mike: Here's the first! (he played a chord)
Crowd cheers
-Mike: Here's the last (he did a shitty chord who sounded really bad)
Crowd cheers
-Mike: You like it???
Crowd Cheers
-Mike: KILL THEM!

-Mike: We got a new single out! You know it?
Fan screaming: THE GRAND CONSULATION
-Mike: What???? WTF you talking about...I dont know that song


Quebec city september 20th 2008

(mike playing a riff)
Mike: ROCK N ROLL!!!
(Plays the same riff)
Mike: HEAVY METAL!!!
(Plays the same riff but a huge feedback happened)
Mike: SHIT SOUND!!!


-Mike: We got a new album out! it's called Watershit!


Mike is talking on the mic and axe is playing is snare

-Mike: STOP PLAYING THAT FUCKING SNARE YOU FUCKER


-Mike: We done lots of retard stuff in our life...one album was the most retard album we ever record ,it'S called damnation. Our metal credibility was on Hold. But metalheads are retard. I know that because i am one.

[isolation_years]

*before watershed was released*
Mike : im going to play 5 songs and if you guess all of them we'll play an encore

*plays 4 songs*

*plays coil*

everyone yells out "coil"

Mike: How the fuck do you know that

[Purple Haze]

Rock Am Rong

Mikael : If you want us to play another song, you have to let me know, what chord I'm playing right now.

Crowd: barely can hear a "Yeah" ( yeah..lame crowd)

Mikael: (plays a chord)...What chord was that?

Crowd: GGGG!!!

Mikael: That is correct, that was G, How about this one? (plays a chord)

Crowd: DDDD!!

Mikael: D?? Very good, This one (plays a chord)

Crowd: Noise ( I dont know what they said)

Mikael: That was the best chord of them all! E minor, you passed this stupid fucking test ( Crowd screams), We'll play one more song for you, we've got time for it I think and please keep warm by headbang, This one is the favorite song of ( I think he said a name but I dont get it) its about sodomy and people that's retarded.....Deliverance

[Kir-ir-Bannog]

Nottingham Rock City

"WE ARE THE AMBASSADORS OF COCK ROCK"