So a koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint..

Harvester · September 19th, 2007, 03:15 PM

A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,
"Hey Koala! What are you doing?"

The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala
where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry"
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
"What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked
into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala w as
sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,

"Hey you!"

So the koala looked down at him and said,

"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude......

How much water did you drink?"

kittybeast · September 19th, 2007, 03:59 PM

Thorn23TX · September 19th, 2007, 04:02 PM

This joke reminds me of one of my all-time favorites:

A bear and a rabbit are answering nature's call in the forest...
They have been sitting there for a while when the bear breaks the awkward silence and asks:
"Hey, rabbit, do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit responds: "No, mr. bear, I can't ever recall ever having that sort of problem."
The bear thinks for a minute, shrugs his shoulders, and then leans over and wipes his ass with the rabbit.

yardleybates · September 19th, 2007, 04:23 PM

Fabulous!!! Love it!

AngraRULES · September 19th, 2007, 05:13 PM

LMAO

BlackRoseMetalHeart · September 19th, 2007, 06:32 PM

Both hilarious!

nailz · September 19th, 2007, 06:43 PM

Personally, I like the joke as follows:

A bear and a rabbit are walking along in the woods, and happen upon a magic lamp. The bear rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The Genie says "I'll grant you 3 wishes." The bear says "I'm bigger, so I'll take 2 wishes, and you get one."

The rabbit, having no real choice agrees, but says he'd like to wish last. The Bear has no problem with this. So the Bear uses his wishes.

"First, I want to be the most attractive bear every girl bear has ever seen!" *poof*, "your wish is granted!" says the Genie. "2 wishes left!"
"Second, I want to be the only male bear in the world!" *poof*, ""your wish is granted!" says the Genie. "One wish left!"

The Bear, feeling overly cocky, turns to the Rabbit, and says.. "your turn."

The Rabbit thinks for a second and makes his wish. "I wish the Bear was gay."

Bryan316 · September 20th, 2007, 09:16 AM

A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing.

"What's that?" asks the captain.

"Well, there are no women" replies the man.

"Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way.

However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined!

The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!"

"Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!"

OrbWeaver · September 20th, 2007, 09:34 AM

A pirate captian walks into a bar with a ship's wheel down the front of his pants.

The barman asks, "Hey, what's that wheel doing in your pants?"

The pirate responds, "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

VenomGA · September 21st, 2007, 10:36 AM

ROTFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rms · September 21st, 2007, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nailz

Personally, I like the joke as follows:

A bear and a rabbit are walking along in the woods, and happen upon a magic lamp. The bear rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The Genie says "I'll grant you 3 wishes." The bear says "I'm bigger, so I'll take 2 wishes, and you get one."

The rabbit, having no real choice agrees, but says he'd like to wish last. The Bear has no problem with this. So the Bear uses his wishes.

"First, I want to be the most attractive bear every girl bear has

September 19th, 2007, 03:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
Harvester The Promoter Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,393	So a koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint.. A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?" The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry" and that he was going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala w as sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, "Hey you!" So the koala looked down at him and said, "Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude...... How much water did you drink?" __________________ Meet my other musical family

September 19th, 2007, 03:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
kittybeast Slave to Symphorce Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Always Somewhere! Posts: 4,159	__________________ We don't stop playing because we grow old..... We grow old because we stop playing http://www.myspace.com/symphorcepower http://www.myspace.com/metalkittybeast

September 19th, 2007, 06:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
nailz Elvenking Pimp Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 2,113	Personally, I like the joke as follows: A bear and a rabbit are walking along in the woods, and happen upon a magic lamp. The bear rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The Genie says "I'll grant you 3 wishes." The bear says "I'm bigger, so I'll take 2 wishes, and you get one." The rabbit, having no real choice agrees, but says he'd like to wish last. The Bear has no problem with this. So the Bear uses his wishes. "First, I want to be the most attractive bear every girl bear has ever seen!" poof, "your wish is granted!" says the Genie. "2 wishes left!" "Second, I want to be the only male bear in the world!" poof, ""your wish is granted!" says the Genie. "One wish left!" The Bear, feeling overly cocky, turns to the Rabbit, and says.. "your turn." The Rabbit thinks for a second and makes his wish. "I wish the Bear was gay." __________________ Man Fights Back -==- Flickr Co-Sponsor for Elvenking for ProgPower IX.

September 20th, 2007, 09:16 AM	#8 (permalink)
Bryan316 METAL... nuff said! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Detroit Rock City Posts: 2,572	A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing. "What's that?" asks the captain. "Well, there are no women" replies the man. "Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way. However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined! The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!" "Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!" __________________

September 20th, 2007, 09:34 AM	#9 (permalink)
OrbWeaver 23-skidoo! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 1,392	A pirate captian walks into a bar with a ship's wheel down the front of his pants. The barman asks, "Hey, what's that wheel doing in your pants?" The pirate responds, "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!" __________________ "Spider venom comes in many forms. It can often take a long while to discover the full effects of a bite. Naturalists have pondered this for years: there are spiders whose bite can cause the place bitten to rot and die, sometimes more than a year after it was bitten. As to why spiders do this, the answer is simple. It's because spiders think this is funny, and they don't want you ever to forget them." -Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman www.myspace.com/bavmordarocks

September 19th, 2007, 04:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Thorn23TX Marked By The Triangle Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Dallas Posts: 654	This joke reminds me of one of my all-time favorites: A bear and a rabbit are answering nature's call in the forest... They have been sitting there for a while when the bear breaks the awkward silence and asks: "Hey, rabbit, do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit responds: "No, mr. bear, I can't ever recall ever having that sort of problem." The bear thinks for a minute, shrugs his shoulders, and then leans over and wipes his ass with the rabbit.

September 19th, 2007, 04:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
yardleybates She's a licker Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Elgin, IL - NW Chicago burb Posts: 958	Fabulous!!! Love it!

September 19th, 2007, 05:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
AngraRULES In Absentia Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Asgard Posts: 4,460	LMAO

September 21st, 2007, 10:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
VenomGA At War With Stan Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,995	ROTFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ Don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house....