The official "Tell your lame jokes" thread

MFJ · January 22nd, 2005, 04:37 PM

I guess good jokes are okay too....

1) A mushroom walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, get me a drink." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind in here". Saddened, the Mushroom replies "Why not, I'm a fungi!"

GET IT LOL... i'm too bored for my own good.

2) A neutron walks into a bar and says, "Hey bartender, how much for a drink." He says, "For you buddy, no charge".

MFJ · January 22nd, 2005, 04:38 PM

Here's a fun one-

So, a baby seal walks into a club.

*Ba-dom CRASH*

spaffe · January 22nd, 2005, 04:45 PM

Two deaf and dumb guys were telling each other jokes but soon had to stop since one of them laughed so hard he broke his fingers.

>__<

NAD is still special. · January 22nd, 2005, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erik

So, an Irishman walks past a bar.

I love this one.

Hey what do you call a gay bum? Hobosexual!

MFJ · January 22nd, 2005, 05:08 PM

Did you hear about the first two gay irish men? Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzryan?

Sorry to anyone who takes offense to these next ones, but they are hilarious.

-Did you know Hellen Keller had a phone? Neither did she!

-How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They move her furniture around (or leave a plunger in the toilet).

-Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Well, you would too if you name was "Meeeallrraggpplbbbleeahhha"

... I have secured my spot in hell. I hope you got the graham crackers, Satan, 'cause I got the marshmallows!!!

Henrik Main · January 22nd, 2005, 05:26 PM

Lucky Norwegian guy found condom in his beer bottle

Not exactly a joke, but a true story that is quite funny.

(http://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/2005/01/22/421097.html)

NAD is still special. · January 22nd, 2005, 05:35 PM

I don't know if Norway has a crazy legal system like the US, but if that happened here that dude would be a multi-millionaire. I'll never forget the old woman that got $91 million for spilling coffee on herself like a dumb bitch. Why? Because it was hot. Whoa what a concept, HOT COFFEE!!!

hahaha that Helen Keller's dog one is great, I remember the other ones from way back when.

Henrik Main · January 22nd, 2005, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erik

Haha, what a faggot

That's what you get for buying NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER

I knew that either you or Mic would point that out

Edit: Norway does not have a crazy legal system, luckily.

MFJ · January 22nd, 2005, 05:36 PM

Well damn, if it was indeed non-alcoholic beer, than he deserves it.

MFJ · January 22nd, 2005, 05:38 PM

So I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

NAD is still special. · January 22nd, 2005, 05:40 PM

I haven't had non-alcoholic beer since I was 10.

Hhahaha did anyone ever see that Cheers episode where they switched to non-alcohlic beer one night and Cliff the Mailman got fuckin' hosed? Whoa man, comedy gold.

January 22nd, 2005, 04:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
MFJ loaded Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Behind the mist. Posts: 9,339	The official "Tell your lame jokes" thread I guess good jokes are okay too.... 1) A mushroom walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, get me a drink." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind in here". Saddened, the Mushroom replies "Why not, I'm a fungi!" GET IT LOL... i'm too bored for my own good. 2) A neutron walks into a bar and says, "Hey bartender, how much for a drink." He says, "For you buddy, no charge". __________________

January 22nd, 2005, 04:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
MFJ loaded Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Behind the mist. Posts: 9,339	Here's a fun one- So, a baby seal walks into a club. Ba-dom CRASH __________________

January 22nd, 2005, 04:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
spaffe Geisterglut Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sverige Posts: 5,165	Two deaf and dumb guys were telling each other jokes but soon had to stop since one of them laughed so hard he broke his fingers. >__< __________________ Jag är en vilsen röst från våta slätter, där jordens andar gny i vilda nätter, och jag är rusig av allt vin som ångar, då jorden öppnar sina källargångar. Töm jordens dryck! Den är av dagg som dryper från månens fullhorn och i mörkret kryper och samlar kraft ur lökar och ur rötter på långa vägar under mänskans fötter, tills den slår upp i markens alla skålar sin brygd av luft och mull, av natt och strålar, där tusen drogers heta filtron ångar. Töm jordens dryck i dina ådrors gångar!

January 22nd, 2005, 05:08 PM	#5 (permalink)
MFJ loaded Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Behind the mist. Posts: 9,339	Did you hear about the first two gay irish men? Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzryan? Sorry to anyone who takes offense to these next ones, but they are hilarious. -Did you know Hellen Keller had a phone? Neither did she! -How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They move her furniture around (or leave a plunger in the toilet). -Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Well, you would too if you name was "Meeeallrraggpplbbbleeahhha" ... I have secured my spot in hell. I hope you got the graham crackers, Satan, 'cause I got the marshmallows!!! __________________

January 22nd, 2005, 05:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
MFJ loaded Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Behind the mist. Posts: 9,339	Well damn, if it was indeed non-alcoholic beer, than he deserves it. __________________

January 22nd, 2005, 05:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
MFJ loaded Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Behind the mist. Posts: 9,339	So I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. __________________