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Old May 9th, 2008, 11:20 PM   #12251 (permalink)
Carabeu
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Meat Camp is almost upon us. Less than 24 hours to go!

I'm impressed at what we've done with the yard so far.
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Old May 10th, 2008, 03:12 AM   #12252 (permalink)
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there better be some glorious pictures.
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Old May 10th, 2008, 07:43 AM   #12253 (permalink)
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New Cult of Luna is rock-solid. Anyone who found Somewhere... to be a lukewarm attempt at cooling down their metal with some nondescript Mogwai-isk loops should get their ears ready for the resurrection of manhood + potent/partly unexpected songwriting.

[EDIT] if you really digged Somewhere... (= if you're a puss) this will scare you shitless, so beware.
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Old May 10th, 2008, 09:59 AM   #12254 (permalink)
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New Cult of Luna is rock-solid.
This is very, very good news. Their first two albums are definite favorites. I'd love to see a return to form.

Oh...and allergies fucking piss me off.
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Old May 10th, 2008, 06:26 PM   #12255 (permalink)
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This is very, very good news. Their first two albums are definite favorites. I'd love to see a return to form.
of course it is nowhere as dark and searing as their material up to The Beyond, but they definitely dropped the whole post-rock thing and that is to their credit. The closest to contemplativeness on the record are the few parts/riffs that resemble vaguely Oceanic-era Isis.
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Old May 11th, 2008, 02:59 AM   #12256 (permalink)
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So tonight I was dragged to a 3 inches of blood concert... heres my review:

Local openers:

Omnipresent - These guys thought they were children of boredom, down to the way they acted on stage. Musically? Pathetic. I'd of rather jammed a cock in my ears than to of heard that.

Calibra - This band was something like if you took Metallica's St Anger and combined it with a man taking a huge painful shit. Absolutely awful, in every aspect. Especially the lyrics: "Ted Bundy (Bundy), You Kill For Pleasure"... repeat 10 times.

Visions of Infinity - Great, just what every night needs, awful deathcore... confused death core that is. Their songs had absolutely structure or redeeming factors. They would toss in breakdowns for the sake of having breakdowns... it was just all over the place. I went outside 2 songs into their set.

The audience ate this shit up sadly...

Next was a band I hadn't heard of, and I was expecting nothing good from: Skarp.
I was wrong. They played a combination of Thrash/Black/Death/Grind that really worked well with my ear drums. They reminded me strongly of Ludicra, in a good way. Sadly it seemed like they got the shortest set of the night, and the audience just stood still. It sounded really good in the sea of shit that was the lineup... and that fact may also show that they aren't as good as I thought they were tonight. But... I enjoyed it tonight atleast.

Last was 3 Inches of Blood. The last time I saw them they played a short 20 minute set of hilariously awful power-core. And they did the same tonight, except for 60 minutes. Absolutely awful.

Had it not been for Skarp, I'd of been even more pissed about being dragged to that concert than I already had been... though luckily i didn't have to pay for it or any of my drinks.

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Old May 11th, 2008, 05:06 AM   #12257 (permalink)
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While you were listening to shit bands, I was in Long Beach attending Pagan Fest.

We reached the venue around 6ish, where we stopped at the Rock Bottom bistro for some classically prepared culinary delights and potations of the utmost fermented variety. After half a dozen rounds we voyaged on over to the posh venue where we were surrounded by faggoths decked in battle paint. The metal scene is turning in to a God damn characterization of cartoonish proportions. Please die, I beggeth of thee. Anyhow, we missed Suikoden, Shoduken, Dragon Punch, Suidakaka, or whatever the fuck their faggoty name is, and showed up just in time for Eluveitie. My first impression was that the hurdy gurdy player needed to femjack down my esophagus. Aside from her wonderous appearance, the music was the equivalent of having your door bell rung repeatedly while you sat helplessly on the shitter. Can someone please make this disingenuous Anders Friden fanboy with the flute put a sock in it? Sadly, it appeared that 80 (where the fuck is the percentile icon?!?) were there to see the incarnation of folk In Flames. Downright ghastly, and mind you, this was six beers in.

Next up was Tyr. Considering this was the band that I paid money that I earned working with primates to see, they left a little to be desired. A scant four song set, with two of the offerings being unknown selections from their forthcoming album. Still, they were a cleansing experience from the horrendous exposure of Eluveitie. That bitch really needs to femjack down my throat.


Anyhow, Turisas was the next band up on the plank, and thar she blew me out of the water faster than Jenna Jameson in a YMCA jacuzzi. As Turisas gallantly ravaged the foundation of the auditorium, I was desperately in search for my Xiphos knife, as I wanted to dispatch of the formation of Argive faggoths that noodle danced in my general vicinity. Oh how glorious would it have been, had they never existed at all. God damn myspace. Reverting away from my digressive ramblings, Turisas was a top notch act that brought the thunder of Ares to the table of Thanos. Yeaaaaaaaa nikkuh.


Last but not least were Ensiferum. A nice generous mix of songs from Iron that had me bobbing my head like Profanity at a bus stop. People with Asperger's syndrome are human beings God damn it! BTW The lead vocalist bares a striking resemblance to Hell Mike Motor Bike.

Good show overall, and I even gave the negar working the restroom a 5 copeck tip. Grits! Grits! Grits!!!!

I also had an epiphany during the course of the evening that I must, I MUST, wed a Native American.














Lentils!
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Old May 11th, 2008, 05:45 AM   #12258 (permalink)
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That show was where I was supposed to be at tonight, till plans changed last minute due to a friends girlfriends whining. I've never heard a woman whine so much in my life about EVERYTHING, and she always ends up getting her way ruining everyone else's nights.

Then again, the only band on that billing I'd really care to see if Tyr for the most part, and if they're only getting 4 songs, I'd of been bored even more there than I was here.
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Old May 11th, 2008, 09:46 PM   #12259 (permalink)
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Thick hard shits are horrible... and yet gnarly at the same time.
The push and stretching that is involved can sometimes bring upon the red gold.
I can recall such a shit, as it happened only 10 minutes ago. I finished up and flushed...... the Baby Ruth of love went no where. It was a log that had snapped in half and each wanted a one way ticket out of the diving pool. They were fighting for first place and got stuck. Round and round the tp was spinning and yet nothing was happening. "dammit" I said. I went outside to grab a stick, because it had been super windy outside, and I knew I could find many on the ground. I came back in and started to poke and prod at the love and got the Turd Train lined up. I hit the release lever and all worked out fine. Such is the life, of a badass.
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Old May 11th, 2008, 09:53 PM   #12260 (permalink)
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fiber is your friend.
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Old May 12th, 2008, 12:00 AM   #12261 (permalink)
Mormagil
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bobbing my head like Profanity at a bus stop.
Does that guy even post on UM anymore?

I've been on a black metal kick since a couple days ago and I'm not really sure why. Also, I personally witnessed a pig getting a hardcore golden shower from another pig.
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Old May 12th, 2008, 10:15 AM   #12262 (permalink)
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Was going through my spending for the last 3 weeks (essentially since I've been off from work), and I seem to have spent 300 dollars on various beers and liquors, 40 on cigarettes, and only 100 bucks on food. Funny thing is, I don't recall even drinking much. So I went through the beers, and apparently with Utah's high prices on alcohol, 300 dollars can buy you 6 - 6packs of random Sam Adams, 6 - 6packs of Hoegaarden, 2 bottles of Jameson, 1 bottle of Stoli, and a couple bottles of cheap wine (Edit: Throw in a couple bottles of Cranberry Juice as well). Fuck this place.
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Old May 12th, 2008, 02:04 PM   #12263 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by EricT View Post

Next was a band I hadn't heard of, and I was expecting nothing good from: Skarp.
I was wrong. They played a combination of Thrash/Black/Death/Grind that really worked well with my ear drums. They reminded me strongly of Ludicra, in a good way. Sadly it seemed like they got the shortest set of the night, and the audience just stood still. It sounded really good in the sea of shit that was the lineup... and that fact may also show that they aren't as good as I thought they were tonight. But... I enjoyed it tonight atleast.
i likes me some skarp
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Actually I like new Metallica because everytime I think of a band that broke up / died / got shafted too early, I used to think "oh man, just think of how awesome they could've been after like 4 more albums," but now I just think "die young, handsome corpse, not Metallica."
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Old May 12th, 2008, 02:05 PM   #12264 (permalink)
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also i graduated college yesterday. YESSSSSSS.
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Actually I like new Metallica because everytime I think of a band that broke up / died / got shafted too early, I used to think "oh man, just think of how awesome they could've been after like 4 more albums," but now I just think "die young, handsome corpse, not Metallica."
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Old May 12th, 2008, 02:10 PM   #12265 (permalink)
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awesome dude! ... congrats!

now what?
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Old May 12th, 2008, 02:15 PM   #12266 (permalink)
cthulufhtagn
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12 day western US tour with the metal shakespeare company! boise, slc, albuquerque, tucson, laguna beach, ocean beach, long beach, SF, arcata and eugene. after that, wage slavery!
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Actually I like new Metallica because everytime I think of a band that broke up / died / got shafted too early, I used to think "oh man, just think of how awesome they could've been after like 4 more albums," but now I just think "die young, handsome corpse, not Metallica."
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Old May 12th, 2008, 02:24 PM   #12267 (permalink)
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12 day western US tour with the metal shakespeare company! boise, slc, albuquerque, tucson, laguna beach, ocean beach, long beach, SF, arcata and eugene. after that, wage slavery!
Heh, you're playing Burts in SLC on 75cent PBR night. Turn out should be decent for a thursday just due to that fact.
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Old May 12th, 2008, 03:41 PM   #12268 (permalink)
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Every time I wish to sleep, I have a dog that decides its going to take up the entire top half of my bed, and refuses to move:



Seriously... FUCK THIS JIVE.
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Old May 12th, 2008, 06:03 PM   #12269 (permalink)
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ORODRUIN!!!!!!!!!
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Old May 12th, 2008, 07:07 PM   #12270 (permalink)
Krilons Resa
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^lol


Eric, u sound like you're 15.
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Old May 12th, 2008, 07:09 PM   #12271 (permalink)
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^lol


Eric, u sound like you're 15.
I know, its awesome... if I shave I can get 2 13yr old girls in a 3-way no problem.




(Too far?)
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Old May 12th, 2008, 07:26 PM   #12272 (permalink)
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Depends how old you actually are
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Old May 12th, 2008, 07:30 PM   #12273 (permalink)
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19...

I'll determine that that joke was too far.
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Old May 12th, 2008, 07:40 PM   #12274 (permalink)
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Anyway:
http://www.japanesepornblog.com/fart...e-school-girls
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Old May 12th, 2008, 07:49 PM   #12275 (permalink)
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C'MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN
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