Gorod – Neurotripsicks
Willowtip Records – WT036 – July 12th, 2005
By Jason Jordan
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Welcome to
Gorod Resort & Spa (formerly known as
Gorgasm Resort & Spa). During your stay at our facilities, which overlook the gorgeous town known as Bordeaux, France, make sure to visit our sponsor in Willowtip Records. The aforementioned have been kind enough to lend us funding for our ever-expanding list of projects, which have
always yielded impressive results.
Though our resort features a vast assortment of recreational activities and amenities, we invite you to join fellow guests in our Listening Lounge, which has been christened as
Neurotripsicks. It is in the Listening Lounge that you will be able to fully bask in technical death metal a la
Capharnaum,
Necrophagist, among others. Our employed musicians – Sandrine (drums), Ben (bass), Mat (guitar), Arnaud (guitar), and Guillaume (vocals) – have crafted quite a platter for your enjoyment. In the Listening Lounge, you will be treated to fifty, nonstop minutes of technical ecstasy. Said musicians are all uber-talented (why else would we have hired them?!), and most of their compositions stick to a respectable five-minute length. With chops that rival even the most revered of bands,
Neurotripsicks focuses on pleasing the listener. The vocalizations range from death growls to utterances that could have spilled from a “Pig’s Bloated Face.” When a ludicrous amount of creativity remains overt-yet-unsophisticated, song titles such as “Gutting Job,” “Rusted Nails Attack,” and “Earth Pus” will abound. Facetiousness aside, we here at
Gorod Resort & Spa do have our drawbacks. Again, during the fifty or so minutes you’ll burn in the
Neurotripsicks Listening Lounge, you may notice that technical instrumentation seems to override songwriting, though both are
far from shabby.
Finally, we trust we have shared some insight into the privileges bestowed upon guests who stay at
Gorod Resort & Spa. The only other resorts that rival us – as far as technicality is concerned – are located in Quebec, Canada, which resides far from our present location! However you choose to customize the Listening Lounge (did we forget to mention the customization option?!) – whether you favor repeat, random, or select listening – will be satisfying in its own way. We fully admit that we are not the most original resort on the strip, but we do believe ourselves to be worthy of your patronage.
Professionally Yours,
8.5/10
Official Gorod Website
Official Willowtip Records Website
P.S. Please do not hesitate to contact us at our main office. The telephone number is as follows: 1-888-382-1222. Only cellular phone calls, placed from the United States, will be accepted. Thank you for your understanding.
jj
