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Clients From Hell

Discussion in 'Bar' started by Jordon, Feb 13, 2015.

  1. Jordon

    Jordon Member

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    I'd say it's about that time for another "Clients From Hell" thread.

    Let's keep specific band/musician names/album names out of the thread.


    Aaaaannnnnd, go!
     
  2. scorpio01169

    scorpio01169 Member

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    About 10 years ago my best friends cousins band wanted to record and my best friend hooked them up with me. Well they forgot to tell the drummer who is racist. Well I got nothing but shit from him from set up till drums were done. Because he was my friends cousin I gave them a discount, The drummer felt that because I was black that I knew nothing about metal and told me so. At first I thought he was skeptical about the whole issue but the guitar player informed me that he didn't like black people and was only allowing me to do it because of the discounted rate. They paid me half of the discounted rate at the beginning and was to pay me in full when we were done. After drums were bass tracks were done with guitar scratch tracks, the guitar player was happy with the product so but informed me that the drummer although was happy with his sound went against his principles to allow me to finish the project. They wanted a quick mixdown of what was done. So i did with beeps in the mixdown. I kinda figured they were up to something, Fast forward two weeks later and I get a call from the cousin and he says "Hey we were trying to put vocals on the mix that you gave us but it has these beeps in it". I informed him that I gave him that version because I wasn't paid in full for the work I did, Once they pay me I'll make them a copy without beeps. Anyways I told my best friend that I had nothing against his cousin, but the drummer was an asshole.
     
  3. Genius Gone Insane

    Genius Gone Insane http://www.¯\(°_o)/¯.com

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  4. Jordon

    Jordon Member

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    Jesus, yea, you might have won this already.
     
  5. Loren Littlejohn

    Loren Littlejohn Lover of all boobage.

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    Yikes, nothing that crazy.

    Lets see though.

    I had a guy who would expect rough mixes LITERALLY 20 mins after he left to be up somewhere so he could listen. He would text every 3 mins bugging me about it. Once we were finished he held up the final product over TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS. He also did a personal song and had it mastered at a local studio. They told me he called 20 times in one day wanting an update/find out when it would be done. He would also fight me on everything like how much gain on guitars, stacking things in the same frequency range etc... Needless to say the experience was bad enough that I refused to work with him again.

    Recently recorded a band, they broke up and decided to fuck me out of $216. Whatever, blacklisted them (except the one guy who actually paid 80% of the total up to that point, really he shouldn't suffer because his band is a bunch of fucking dickheads without money for recording).

    My favorite though was the band that showed up and played this:
    https://db.tt/u6Ry6Wag

    They ended up getting a friend to write them a song so they could record. Weirdest thing I have ever subjected myself to. I had a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME NOT LAUGHING WHILE THEY DID THAT.
     
  6. Jordon

    Jordon Member

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    Every. Fucking. Time. I'm working with a dude right now who pulls that shit daily, and will not leave me alone until I send him something. Seriously, 15-20 texts at a time, multiple times a day, until he gets a mix. And even more annoying, it's 15-20 texts, one or two words each. He refuses to string an entire thought together in one text (I've implored him for the sake of my sanity) His number is on permanent "do not disturb" in my phone.

    He's not a bad dude, but he's completely oblivious to the fact other people actually have lives/other clients exist. I guess he doesn't get that people can't drop everything or wake up at 3am to send him a rough mix of the verse he tracked the day before.

    I could write a dissertation on the grips that I have with this guy and the various ways he's killing me physically and mentally.

    ...Two more weeks....just two more weeks...:yell:
     
  7. He's Dead, Jim

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    Two thoughts:

    1. LOOOOOOOOOOOL
    2. This should be the soundtrack to every Guitar Center commercial
     
  8. Sloan

    Sloan Sounds like shit!

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    :kickass:
     
  9. Sloan

    Sloan Sounds like shit!

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    Just a question but how often do you guys end up turning down projects in comparison to taking them on?

    I actually say NO more than I ever actually work on projects due to 1) Bands not being ready to record and 2) not wanting to pay even minmum wage or a deposit. I do lots of live/corporate sound so just taking a chance that a band 'might' show up and pay me instead of working events for a good day rate is not worth it at all.
     
  10. Jordon

    Jordon Member

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    I try my absolute best to filter potential clients as much as possible. Music, aptitude, reliability, attitude...I try to make sure it's going to be a good working environment, and not just a good fit producer-to-artist in a strictly musical sense. Personality quirks that take a while to reveal themselves are a bit more difficult to screen, and seem to creep up once or twice a year, and without fail make my life a living hell for the period of time that I'm working with that person. At that point, I just pass as much as I can off to my assistant whenever it's acceptable for me to do so. :D
     
  11. Fredrik-Ablaze

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    When are we doing the engineers/producers from hell thread?
    I think I've met more of those than the above mentioned clients actually. The vast number of socially retarded engineers/producers Ive come across as a musician is what made me build my first studio in the first place.
     
  12. KHE

    KHE Member

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    i'd say go for it and share your experiences! i've never been in a other studio as a musican than in my own, so some perspective from experienced musicans about working in a studio would be great! :)
     
  13. GeertSamuel

    GeertSamuel Member

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    Lead guitar player of a band came in, he seemed 100% UNPREPARED. Had allready difficulty tracking the rhythms, then when it came to hi solo parts hell really started. He didn't have any solo prepared 100%. Some were about 50% "finished" others weren't done yet, but he had "an idea". There was one track on which I pulled the plug for the day, after 167 attempts and not a single good one or even coming close, I told him to go home and practice and only come back once he had everything 100% sorted. I gave him the unmixed drum/bass/guitar track to practice with.

    2 or 3 weeks later I received a zip file over the mail with wav files of his solo parts. He recorded it in his kitchen, "because of the great acoustics", through an unknown usb mic. I told them I wasn't planning on using those files because of the shit quality. The band made it clear to me the guitar player wasn't planning on coming to the studio anymore and I had to mix these tracks in. Tracks weren't exported on grid or anything, and when I asked if he could export them properly he told me the files were deleted. I started trying to "fix it in the mix", I only could do so much off course. During this whole phase the guitar player came back numerous times complaining to me about his sound, and how much it DIDN'T sound like "And justice for all". The drummer complaining why is Meinl MCS cymbals didn't sound like metallica's black album cymbals and I can go on with those remarks. During this whole cycle the bassplayer and singer we're the coolest dudes, they knew there bandmates were nagging, tried to keep them in tone and eventually they told me they decided to finish the product on their terms.

    The guitar player has been badmouthing me since then, especially since the moment during mixing where I told him he was lacking in his attitude and personality. After my mix, they visited 4 other mix engineers who all did a mix on the complete project. The 4th mix engineer's product was something their guitar player and drummer could live with.
     
  14. Loren Littlejohn

    Loren Littlejohn Lover of all boobage.

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    Oh yeah! I forgot a few:

    1. Guitarist was a functioning alcoholic. His takes were poo, I ended up re-recording them myself and I absolutely let them know I did so.
    2. Vocalist had zero timing. NONE AT ALL. He couldn't do a take the same way even once.
    3. So far I have had 1 bass player I didn't want to throw out immediately. Glenn is right, these fuckers are not musicians. Not fucking one time has one ever purchased new strings no matter what I fucking say. It has gotten so bad that I keep them around for these occasions and then bill them out later in the invoice.

    That band I just showed the clip of also had the most epic failure of a drumkit you could even imagine. In fact I dare you to picture something as bad as this thing was. It was so bad the first words out of my mouth when they rolled in with it was "how the hell do you even play that thing."

    It featured the shallowest kick drum I have ever seen. I seriously think it couldn't' be any more than 12" deep. And oh yeah it had NO FUCKING SPURS. ---> so it didn't stand up.
    Snare had a hole in the reso head.
    The one rack tom was fucking sideways, apparently it was just fucking stuck that way.
    Floor tom actually stood up, but the head was as old as my grandpa.
    And as you could probably guess the 2 cymbals (yeah fucking 2, no high hats) were both cracked to shit.

    It was hands down the most epic piece of shit ever.
     
  15. B36arin

    B36arin Member

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    We've probably all recorded the bassist who owns a too small bass amp and therefore never hears himself in the rehearsal space. That leads to him thinking that he knows the songs and doesn't need to practice so he never does, but when he turns up in the studio he suddenly hears what he's playing and is in for a bit of a shock. Trying to edit the "performance" is a major pain in the ass because the transients are barely visible. Thankfully I mostly work with really good bassists(I guess I'm really, really lucky), and I love working with great bassists. But when a bad one turns up it destroys the record.

    I've also had to record 1-2 words of vocals at a time(yep, really) for technical metal.
     
  16. schwinginbatman

    schwinginbatman It's shittay!

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    I got a story for this one. Before I joined, my band was doing an EP with this local guy, and he was apparently a goddamn nightmare. He:

    1. Made them start with the bass
    2. Absolutely refused to allow any punch-ins
    3. Refused to record to a grid
    4. Accidentally made the kick triggers go twice as fast and when this was brought up, refused to fix it.

    They never actually finished the EP with him, and his rep got so trashed he had to leave the area. He came back a bit ago in a hardcore group. We were supposed to do a show with them, they hopped on then immediately dropped off the bill, presumably because he saw it was us he'd play with.
     
  17. FrankTheSmith

    FrankTheSmith Member

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    Probably the worst one is this local rapper. The deal we had was $25 if I make the beat plus $25 for tracking vocals. He had about 12 songs done and wanted me to make 5-6 beats. We agreed a total of $450 recording vocals $150 for beats. Did 4 songs the first day in less than 4 hours with the beats he made. The second day I loaded up more of the beats he made and realized on of them was a Kendrick Lamar beat. I knew he made beats himself so I assumed he at least made the other ones . He didn't, all the beats were stolen from other rappers... Famous rappers. He wanted to record a couple less than a minute vocal skits where he just says shit with no music. We agreed that since it's only talking for a minute that I'd let him do two of those for the price of one. Somehow that little agreement evolved into
    "since this song (not skit) is less than two minutes, can I do two for one?"
    Should never had agreed. That turned into
    "how long are those two songs I just did?"
    "The first one's about 3:30 and the other one is 3:00"
    "Alright, cut out this part in the first one and this part in the second one. How long are they now?"
    "Both are under 2 minutes"
    "Alright cool. So 2 for the price of 1 (Not a question. A statement)"
    Third day he came in with the rest of the beats all edited to be about 2 minutes.
    "Alright so that's 4 songs under two minutes so here's $50"
    He was in a rush to leave so he did 2 takes per song and left in 20 minutes.
    We did the 12 songs he had in 3 days and when I asked about the beats he wanted me to make he said something like
    "Nah man I found this site that lets you rip the audio from Youtube videos so I got tons of beats"
    He was gonna steal some more beats to finish off his album instead of paying me to make the beats. In those 3 days it was 4 hours, 2 hours, 20-30 minutes for just over $200 So I just said fuck it I'll finish the rest. 4th day he came in with a piece of paper with tons of math written all over it. He says something like
    "Okay this skit is 15 seconds, this song is 1:30 and this song is 2 minutes. Since they're under 4 minutes we'll just do these 3 for the price of one (Statement, not a question) And these two both equal 4 minutes and this one I'll just have to pay full price for. Here's $75"
    Told him I didn't agree with that, but since he was up all night doing the math on it he only brought $75. I told him to leave and gave him directions and a number to a studio a few miles away. Didn't tell him the studio charges $500 a day, so he was blowin up my phone trying to get me to finish his songs.

    During one of the song's chorus I was so blown away by the lyrics I had to pull my phone out a record one of his takes. Guess what the song is called.
    https://dl.dropbox.com/s/ult2g6vw47pjhvj/Idgaf.mp3?dl=0

    After about a month he wrote me that he had like 10 more songs and he'd pay me $100 to record it all and he'd give me some of the cd sale money. Never said anything back and just ignored him.
    He would also text me right away asking for the songs. I'd literally still see his car in the window pulling away and I'd get a text "Where are the songs? they're not in my email".
     
  18. Mago

    Mago Austrian Blech Machine

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    haha seems I do a good job of screening before I agree to work with someone.
    I never had anything nearly that bad. Maybe players that I wished were better to serve the music more, but nothing that is worth pondering on.

    Apart from the times where I recorded a cd for friends who all thought they could sing, and in the end it didn't quite sound as they had imagined.
    that hurt a bit during recording, but at least I got to record unusual instruments that where played well as well. I did that twice, first time was like that, 2nd time they where prepared a lot better, as I had told them they'd have to be.

    Usually so far, bass and guitar players believed me when I say you need to get new strings to record as well.

    I guess the funniest scenes I had so far, where when that vocalist told me to do that one spot without any backing track or click. I was like "...ok?" and only recorded him, he did his take, I flew it where I thought it would belong and it fit like a glove :lol:

    And also that other time where a guitar player came in, saying he doesn't know if his guitar is fit for recording. I took a look and realized that the humbucker screws (the one to set the height) were broken, and the emg was lying on the body of the guitar a few cm's away from the strings and rattling :lol:
    Needles to say we used one of my guitars to record ^^
     
  19. greyskull

    greyskull Member

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    I could probably write a book.

    But a lot of the time, peoples perception of what is billable time and what is not blows my mind.

    "so all that time you've spent micing up the drums, because we weren't recording, we don't have to pay for that right..?"
     
  20. Terminus

    Terminus Member

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    I went to a guys personal studio to record some guitar for a friends hip hop album (big mistake in itself) and the guy had one of those Alexis nanocomp compressors CRANKED all knobs full to record my takes. I told him all I could hear was insane ducking and no attack and he said he'd fix it later...i told him you can't fix it if it's being recorded through that. I just said fuck it and did my parts without an argument. Sounded like doodoo even for some terrible rap song.
     

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