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Giving up

Discussion in 'Bar' started by Plendakor, May 21, 2014.

  1. Plendakor

    Plendakor Member

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    How many thought about giving up at some point (maybe even stopped playing/making music for a few years?) ?
    What kept you going or made you come back ?
     
  2. schust

    schust Member

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    every time i release a new CD... :heh: (sad, but true)

    what keeps me coming back? a bad memory

    (and the love of music, of course)
     
  3. bryan_kilco

    bryan_kilco Member

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    Debate it more often than I should (playing in my band).

    Just not totally into it, the material isn't quite up to the level that I enjoy listening to (even though I wrote a few of the songs), some of the members aren't up to the level that I'd "prefer" to be in a band with. I'm not some perfect prodigy guitarist by any means, but I enjoy the few song ideas that I (rarely) come up with and I feel like once the rest of the band has had their turn with it, the song has turned in a negative way from what it was.

    My previous 3 bands all failed miserably, we think we finally have a solid lineup with this new(er) band and a year down the road we start losing members, gaining members, teaching them all the material, losing LOTS of time with lineup changes, start booking gigs and drive 2 hours to sometimes play for almost nobody and don't get paid because we didn't bring 10+ heads out, therefor losing money to play shows.....Not to mention some KILLER local acts around here just all-around out-playing us.

    What keeps me hanging on? The fact that I'm pushing 32 years old and I swore to myself that this would be the last band that I tried to go anywhere in. It is also a lot of fun to be jamming with some of my best friends. But the thought remains in the back of my head of "Probably never even going to be able to pay my bills doing anything I really enjoy". Which sucks.
     
  4. HeadCrusher

    HeadCrusher Member

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    Ditch that "last band" rule. Your current situation sounds like you are really wasting your time. Finding new people and learning/writing new material doesn't.

    What drives me? I don't want to work for "the man" my entire life, simple. I actually enjoy creating and working on projects of all sorts. Unfortunately I haven't had any major success playing in bands either. Maybe some day, who knows. Producing/writing is fine by me though for now. Also consider that music might not actually be what you really are about. Just because it may have been a childhood dream doesn't mean it's still what you really want right now. Doesn't have to be the case with you but I suggest spending some time "listening to yourself".
     
  5. indecizo

    indecizo Member

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    A bit curious , do you have clips of said band? Like a final mix?
     
  6. bryan_kilco

    bryan_kilco Member

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    https://www.facebook.com/SincetheFire

    Tracked it ourselves, mixed by me in literally 1 day. I can't even stand listening to those tracks. Currently working on vocals for our first full-length.....which also has me in a slump because we spent like a fucking year so far on everything else, and vocals are seeming to be the weakest link and it has me super bummed..... :mad: I guess I'm not exactly sure what I expected since I know how that old 2 song demo went....figured it's like a year later, shit's got to have gotten better......
     
  7. Volcane

    Volcane Power Quest

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    Get married, have kids, start your own business. That did it for me. No more music!

    I miss doing it, but it's so waaaaay down the priority list now.

    I miss the shows and the recording, but I don't miss the pressure you put yourself under to succeed, have people dig your stuff or that feeling at the end of a 4hr rehearsal when you have to load your car full of bass cabs and drive home knackered...
     
  8. Revson

    Revson Member

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    I'm pretty much at the giving up stage right now, hence selling a bunch of shit in the Merch Stand. I don't think I'll ever completely give up though; I simply don't have any other hobbies. That, and whenever I do get a band that's actually willing to pay for recording, having that little extra money in my pocket is nice.
     
  9. ArsMemoria

    ArsMemoria Member

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    I haven't been proactive with my music in recent years due to 1) growing up, getting married, and helping out with the rent and 2) trying to finish out a school program that leaves me with little time to jam with anyone. I don't see myself ever giving up, but it's definitely low on the priority list. As cliché as it is: music is my life, I'm always writing something, I have folders full of GP files with random riffs and drum beats that I may or may never work on. It's still fun for me.
     
  10. Drummerrrrr?

    Drummerrrrr? Member

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    I don't have any other interests. Any breaks I ever take only last 4 or 6 months until I'm buying gear again haha
     
  11. Grå Värld

    Grå Värld Member

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    The thing that helped me get back into music was doing a duo project with the vocalist from my old band. We had no expectations apart from writing songs we both really loved. 4 years later after making demos and trialing 3 drummers we linked up with a cool drummer and lead guitarist and starting playing live and recording. The attitude is not to "make it" but realise it is a hobby like if you played golf and our jobs try to cover rehearsal cost etc. We self record and it is slower and maybe less pro but it costs less and helps with our skills. After being in a band that pursued making it I would never do that again, it fucked up friendships because people wanted a band to be the biggest thing in their lives. Music should be fun.

    Bryan Kilco - maybe do a solo self recorded EP of music you want to play and source a vocalist from the net. I wfound that having decent demo albeit with programmed drums was very helpful in getting other musician interested or not in the project.
     
  12. Clockwork

    Clockwork Bass playing guy.

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    I second this. I quit my old mildly successful band because it wasn't making me happy and just started my own project with an old roommate who can sing (never collabed or anything before). After awhile we ended up with songs we were proud of and other people who wanted to play them. Might be worth considering. Trying to make things work with people is really stressful.
     
  13. JeffTD

    JeffTD Senhor Testiculo

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    I did. My life has gotten significantly better since.
     
  14. Max Morton

    Max Morton Member

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    Never. I never seriously thought of giving up. Sometimes I feel desperate right after a bad gig, and I'm thinking of concentrating on my studio activity... for like two hours or so. Sometimes I feel that I'm wasting my life on recording too many bands instead of writing and releasing more songs (which I really enjoy doing). Had massive nervous breakdown with consequences last year. Had burnouts. But I never imagined myself doing anything else but recording music and being in a band. There's simply no other aim for my to carry on. I think I'm a happy man.
     
  15. Nuno Filipe

    Nuno Filipe You talkin' to me?

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    bryan_kilco I understand what you are saying, I gave up for some time to achieve something with a real band. I gave up on trying something with bands but not on music and believe me that´s the best thing I did. Now I work on my projects and I do all, in the way I want, and the songs are been written and recorded. That is the next step to create something.

    Lets face it, it´s great to have a place to jam with friends, have fun playing something, be able to play with real people but its very, but very hard to find serious people that want to push their limits and being open to do sacrifices. The last part its crucial, every one says that music it´s very important but when comes girlfriends, parties, weekends out, this kind of things are always more important that the band and the music itself, and I am not criticizing this, only the lack of seriousness in this people because what they ever do it´s wasting our time, for us that want to take this to another level and are dead serious about music. So, I am done in trying something with people, it´s hard and when it´s not hard you will have to have a lot but a lot of patience to deal with the all band members!

    Funny thing, I am not in a band right now but I want something to spend my free time in the future. So I will be looking for a band after doing one last song for my current project but this time it´s a band to have fun and nothing more. Because, in that moment that you think that this might be the one and you take this very serious, there is a great possibilty of becoming frustrated again. Of course this doesnt apply to all bands and everyone but finding the right people it´s hardest part, even harder than making good music.
     
  16. HeadCrusher

    HeadCrusher Member

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    Care to elaborate? I figured you were already kind of established in the business? And that Pop Punk band of yours seemed good as well.

    I noticed on FB that you got a new job and moved to LA. So what are you up to these days?
     
  17. Ermz

    Ermz ¯\(°_o)/¯

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    I went on a little vacation from the industry 2 years ago. Prior to that I had never experienced one bit of doubt. Once I'd committed to the production career, that was it, that was all there was and I was going to chase it either into the clouds or hellfire.

    One of the interesting things about this gig is that you don't often think too far ahead. You're so focused on the moment, making the most out of every project, that you seldom stop to think about what it is that you're sacrificing to get there. By the time I'd spent 7-odd years doing this professionally I'd come very close to burning out because production was essentially all I had in my life. Yeah, I had friends and a girlfriend, but it certainly didn't feel that way. I didn't take enough time away from anything to actually enjoy the journey. So by the time the burnout kicked in, I had amassed 9 months worth of bookings into the future. You're always trying to get to that point - acquiring job security, but nobody really tells you how to manage it once you get there. Especially when you're already fried and the last thing you want to do is work another 9 months straight.

    So long story short I started overshooting deadlines, apologized to all my clients, passed a lot of work away to other individuals (some I greatly regret supporting in retrospect, and others I'm happy to have) and I took a step away. I recognized that I'd become physically emaciated - it hurt to actually just bend over and walk around at times, and I knew something had to change. So I got myself a car and started to get in shape, all the while I was very lucky to have some residual income from the mixing guide keeping me going during that period.

    Long story short for me is that I didn't like my work starting to feel like a production line. I know some guys thrive in that environment and manage to amass a lot of money doing it, but that just isn't me. I like to get truly invested in each project and push the bar higher whenever possible. That's when I recognized that I'd need other ventures, and other sources of residual income to keep myself going if I wanted to keep doing engineering as a job. I've slowly come back, and since getting my head in a better space I've started putting out the best quality work in my life. It feels like so much of what happened coalesced into a sense of wisdom I just didn't have prior. So it's not all bad. Just have to put things in perspective and keep soldiering on.
     
  18. ProjectHamsterdam

    ProjectHamsterdam God of Emptiness

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    I quit playing in bands a long time ago. At the moment, between my job (10-12 hours/day in office), being married and my 10-month-old son, I have zero time to do anything else.

    BUT, I look at this as a temporary obstacle only. I will never stop noodling at home or obsessing about gear, that is for sure. As many people here have said, I simply don't have any other hobbies.

    I can't wait until my kid grows up enough to hold a guitar, so we can play Slayer covers all day long. . .

    that and recording the greatest thrash/death album of all time on my laptop in my living room of course.
     
  19. cfh11

    cfh11 Member

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    i think the best thing you can do is just to change your perspective. even if your band IS really good, the % of musicians that are able to make a living out of it is painfully low. if you go into every practice and show with the idea that you are just there to have fun, you will never be disappointed with a poor turnout at a show or a band member bailing on practice. and the best thing about it is the audience will sense your loose attitude and respond to it.

    this comes with a disclaimer though: the band members have to be SOMEWHAT committed. it doesnt have to be at a militant level but obviously if people arent practicing their instrument/songs it doesnt matter what kind of attitude you have.
     
  20. EOC

    EOC Member

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    Maybe one doesnt have to give up music, but just give up the way you feel about it, or what you expect from it. This means that you don't have to actually give up the activity but just give up on your mental attachment to it, whatever this may be: make it big, being famous, paying the bills,etc...
    in my case the practice of letting my egos expectations go really made me go through are really stressful career.
    I have a band that plays 2 gigs a month minimum, i record and produce our own albums (we have 3) i make my own videos, current record has 4 and we are making 3 more right now. I started my own studio and currently working on three records. On top of that, I'm an orchestral conductor and i have regular concerts an rehearsals that imply a lot of travelling. I also work conducting choirs, i have a family business i which i help two days a week and I'm giving seminars about spirituality....live with my girlfriend and have to very time consuming dogs.
    i tell you all of this because what really allows me to do all this is my mental\spiritual practice. So, for me is not what you do with your life, but the interpretation of what you do what matters, is the purpose you give it. I found that every time i was mentally attached to one of my egos goals, i ended up frustrated and stressed out, but every time i switch my mentally, is not about the goal any more, is about living the process,learning to be happy with what is happening right now...of course, every time i achieve that, i end up getting to the goal hahaha. I,m having a bit of difficulties trying to explain this since English is not my native tongue and I'm on my cellphone, but i hope the point gets through
     

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