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Need tips on being 'nicer'

Discussion in 'Bar' started by jangoux, Apr 13, 2013.

  1. LBTM

    LBTM Proud Behringer User

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    +1. don't try to be a big talker if it doesn't come naturally. it's so ridiculous seeing people trying to when it's obvious they aren't.
     
  2. Terminus

    Terminus Member

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    Probably be a pussy. And i mean that in the nicest way possible, Christians. :lol:
     
  3. viralz

    viralz Member

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    It's not easy being a quiet person in this society filled with big mouths smart asses. There's always gonna be a fucking asshole pointing out that you don't talk much and make you feel self conscious about it.
     
  4. Nuno Filipe

    Nuno Filipe You talkin' to me?

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    This is actually very true. If you dont talk too much, people will say that you are anti social.

    There is one thing that I think that really makes the difference. Try to avoid judging all the situations and all people, because we tend to categorize all, by saying this is good, this is not good. Judging all the time it´s the worse we can do, things just are what they are and we I dont need to overthink about that. When we think too much we open our mouth to criticize everything around us without having the conscious of what we do.
     
  5. bryan_kilco

    bryan_kilco Member

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    I may be the same way. The other night after our show, breaking down, other guitarist asked me for help and I told him he was a little bitch. Just fucking with him, of course, because he is short and literally couldn't reach the top of our scrim/banner to take it apart. He took it to heart and a shitstorm ensued. Ridiculous.

    I cannot help you in this department. :lol:
     
  6. Mago

    Mago Austrian Blech Machine

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    Actually not a bad idea.
    Turning water into wine could really help in such situations^^

    I dunno...hard to tell where the problems lie, cause HOW you say something is sometimes more important than what you actually say.
    And that doesn't really translate through the forum very well.
    Or maybe it's the non verbal part of communication that can make some people feel uncomfortable...like how you look while you say it, or how you approach them.
     
  7. SocialNumb

    SocialNumb Damn Christians!

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    Among other things, make family members hate each other, condemn cities to death, speak in parables to confuse you and get you sent to hell, expect you to kill disobedient children, abandon your family in favor of a special prize you'll get when you're dead, kill a shit load of pigs because lol. I could go on and on . . . Don't ask yourself what he (still don't think he existed anyways) would do, that would land you in a padded room.
     
  8. Uros

    Uros Sonic Incision

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    just ask yourself 'what would Brian Boitano do?'
     
  9. blue_fAng

    blue_fAng Member

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    LOL thinking the same
     
  10. outbreak525

    outbreak525 Member

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    Just treat others the way you would like to be treated.
     
  11. jangoux

    jangoux Member

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    Sorry guys for taking long to reply. Had a hell of a week.

    heheheeh I am a nice guy, almost loser-ish nice. However, I dont look nice, when I think I am smiling, my mouth is barely moving, I always look stressed.

    And yeah, most stories involve my wife hehe She's the person I've been by far the most together in the last 13 years, since we met, so I guess this is normal.

    Jeff, I dont even drink beer man haha Most of the weed-smoking guys I know are a bunch of depressive mommy's boys fuckheads that dont even work.

    Stark Ark, terrible with small talk. Most of the time I feel rather NOT talking than doing small talk.

    Owen, Yeah, charisma is a big issue for me. My wife always say I am a very like-able guy but I often screw up things too quickly lol

    viralz is right, It is not easy being quiet. People always translate that as being less efficient, dumb, less competent, less interesting. On my teenage years, people used to think I was gay because I was never seen with a girl. I barely talked, so girls never got interested and ended up looking like the gay guys who hangs out with girls, which obviously, I was not.

    :lol::lol::lol:

    I did some therapy sessions at the beginning of the year (I suffer from depression or something like it) and the therapist told me MANY times I looked and talked nice but it was a 'different' situation. She was nice and very understanding of my issue (probably because she was getting paid and never confronted me) and probably because talking relieved some of my stress and eventually I smiled.
     
  12. LBTM

    LBTM Proud Behringer User

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    Even if you don't drink alcohol I would suggest you to drink like a beer before a session. You can wash your teeth if you don't want to be considered as the "alcoholic engineer" kind of guy. It will loose you up and it will be much easier to start talking. Eventually after a while it will start coming naturally. That's what I was discussing with a friend of mine yesterday. He's shy but after 1-2 beers he becomes much more open and friendly. Just try it and you will see. You seem like a nice guy so... I'm sure it's going to help you rather than making things worse ;)
     

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