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Discussion in 'Musicians Discussion' started by Spiffy, Jul 20, 2018.
I think the song has some high points and some interesting ideas. Though overall it needs to be edited and shortened. If you check out the song I posted below this topic then know I edited that song and made it shorter. Guitarists tend to drag out their ideas too long which is fine when coming up with an idea.
I'm a vocalist and don't hear anything spectacular I could put in there. You need to add more change ups while shortening the song at the same time. The mellow to heavy parts don't make any sense to me other than you went from mellow to heavy. But is there a purpose for that? It doesn't sound like there is. I will admit the drum machine was done well which is hard to do. Some of your guitar ideas, once matured, may explode into something very cool. As of right now I'm hearing a song that borders on the line of scrap metal. But if you can put more thought into it, mature the song more, you might be able to save it from becoming scrap metal. Plus, your timing from mellow to heavy is not good. I know you are putting a idea out there, but I have no idea what you are trying to capture. This song has no appeal to a vocalist so far. It sounds like it might be written more for the barky bark type.
On second thought, it might be better if you take some of the good parts of the song and start over. You say, What good parts? You as a musician need to know what is good from what is bad or nothing you will do will ever sound good. I have old tapes full of vocal melodies and some of them are bad, others mediocre, while others are stellar. But I had to let time decide if my ideas were worth pursuing further or to just scrap the idea. The majority of my ideas are scrap metal as the melodies don't have enough staying power. But that still leaves me with two albums worth of good ideas. That being said, sift through your ideas on your own time. Don't just publish any idea or people will grow tired of hearing the same 'ol crap and stop checking your ideas out. Your reputation as a musician must be built up. So don't just publish anything. Keep your ideas to yourself until you have enough ideas down where you can sift through them and maybe even add a part of one idea to another idea. Write a song a make it bigger and bigger until you have mastered the craft of songwriting. Then, when you have your ideas recorded down real good, share some of them online. Find other musicians who will work with you and be willing to work with a vocalist who will want to edit your work for his vocals, because I do not know of one vocalist don't edit the work of guitarists! Every single vocalist I know who has any sense of professionalism about him will edit the song for vocals. Now sometimes a song requires no edit from a vocalist and the vocalist is happy happy from the start. That's when you got it down real good! And know what a stanza is! You do not seem to understand the importance of the stanza to the singer. So learn what you can and improve your art of song writing and then you might be able to write some real stellar music.
And don't take my criticism the wrong way. Accept it as it is without feeling shitty about what I said here, no matter how shitty it may have made you feel. Relax...if you are determined then my words backfire in the near future and you become a great songwriter. But that is the whole purpose of my criticism. When I started out as a vocalist, joining my first band in 1994, I was good and had lots of range and could even sing Bruce Dickinson very well. But for the band I joined it wasn't good enough. They wanted to hear me control my voice better in other areas and write killer melodies like their old vocalist did. And if you heard my competition you would know he was no slouch of a vocalist! He was a master in the art of melody and could whip out his melody with words on the spot! His voice was gorgeous and so I had my work cut out for me. I was able to sing his songs well and by 1999 sound just like him. A few years after that, I would master melody almost as well as my main inspiration, Anneke van Giersbergen. What? You mean Geoff Tate is not my #1 melody inspiration? Oh he was the singer who got me determined to become a great singer, but it was Anneke who would inspired me to work on my own approach to melody and go beyond the 80s hype and introduce a new hybrid of fusion which would set me apart from my competition. I knew the competition was fierce and so I was determined to get good enough to make it in the Industry. What I didn't know is how hard it would be to start. Times had changed and singers were no longer wanted--originality dead. So there ends my story.
For what its worth, don't allow criticism to spoil your love for music. Had I allowed all the useless criticism against me to stop me from achieving my goals I never would have become the vocalist I wanted to be. And regardless of my failure as an artist, I was able to prove all my critics wrong. So accept criticism as a positive challenge. Try harder to improve your song writing skills from the criticism you receive.
A song is like a puzzle and all the pieces need to fit in nice and smoothly. Each piece of that puzzle must mean something. What I hear in your song are puzzle pieces from two different puzzles and you are trying to put a puzzle together using two different puzzles. And its not the mellow to heavy part I am criticizing; its how you go from mellow to heavy that makes no sense to me. Make sure your idea makes sense. Music without a vocalist must still speak. When your music speaks, a vocalist can hear what your music is saying. So think about something real and even draw your initial idea from a song or two without carbon copying the music of that song. Borrow the feel of it and take that feel and turn it into a completely new song. We all get our ideas from somewhere and we all have our influences. But its how we incorporate those influences into our music is what counts. So have as many good influences in your life as you can so you will sound more diverse and original.
Thomas Edison's lab burned down and he had to start all over again. He did just that. William Tyndale's work was all lost during a shipwreck and he had to start all over again. He did just that. Its the getting up part that's up to you.
thank you so much for the insight, it means a lot you went to this length to tell me your thoughts! if its not to much to ask would you give some of my other songs a listen and tell me which ones sound the best to you personally?
Just take my advice and continue practicing your song writing skills. What kind of music do you listen to?