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teh joke thread omg

Discussion in 'Dark Tranquillity' started by Malaclypse, Aug 8, 2005.

  1. Nitronium Blood

    Nitronium Blood UM BOARDS' JESTER

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    Marchin' up and down the scqaiya.
    What do you call someone who has $4.50, for an item that's worth $5.00?

    A retard.
     
  2. marduk1507

    marduk1507 Member

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    Conversation between George W. Bush and his National Security Advisor
    >
    > George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
    >
    > Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
    >
    > George: Great. Lay it on me.
    >
    > Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
    >
    > George: That's what I want to know.
    >
    > Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
    >
    > George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
    >
    > Condi: Yes.
    >
    > George: I mean the fellow's name.
    >
    > Condi: Hu.
    >
    > George: The guy in China.
    >
    > Condi: Hu.
    >
    > George: The new leader of China.
    >
    > Condi: Hu.
    >
    > George: The Chinaman!
    >
    > Condi: Hu is leading China.
    >
    > George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
    >
    > Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
    >
    > George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
    >
    > Condi: That's the man's name.
    >
    > George: That's who's name?
    >
    > Condi: Yes.
    >
    > George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
    >
    > Condi: Yes, sir.
    >
    > George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
    >
    > Condi: That's correct.
    >
    > George: Then who is in China?
    >
    > Condi: Yes, sir.
    >
    > George: Yassir is in China?
    >
    > Condi: No, sir.
    >
    > George: Then who is?
    >
    > Condi: Yes, sir.
    >
    > George: Yassir?
    >
    > Condi: No, sir.
    >
    > George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
    >
    > China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
    >
    > Condi: Kofi?
    >
    > George: No, thanks.
    >
    > Condi: You want Kofi?
    >
    > George: No.
    >
    > Condi: You don't want Kofi.
    >
    > George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
    >
    > And then get me the U.N.
    >
    > Condi: Yes, sir.
    >
    > George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
    >
    > Condi: Kofi?
    >
    > George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
    >
    > Condi: And call who?
    >
    > George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
    >
    > Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
    >
    > George: Will you stay out of China?!
    >
    > Condi: Yes, sir.
    >
    > George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N
    >
    > Condi: Kofi.
    >
    > George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
    >
    > (Condi picks up the phone.)
    >
    > Condi: Rice, here.
    >
    > George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
    >
    > should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
     
  3. Vizjaqtaar

    Vizjaqtaar Blue!... No, yellooou..

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    Why have women such small feet? ... So they can stand closer to the kitchen stove. :kickass: :D
     
  4. Dark_Silence

    Dark_Silence Member

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    :lol:
    but I wear size 40. It isnt small for a woman.
    the problem is that women are not very tall (most of them) and they cant reach the top of cupboards in the kitchen. That happen to me all the time, I have to spring to catch the things above the cupoard.
     
  5. Siren

    Siren Active Member

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    That's why we have men.
     
  6. incendo

    incendo Member

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    I've heard this conversation in a web site with voices, long ago, I can't tell which site it was. I remember I couldn't get half of it because I was craked up. very funny, really.
     
  7. Cuthalion

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    on the other hand kitchen sinks are too low and when i worked as a glass washer in a night club i had to bend all the time and it was horrible :)
    It is a discrimination i tell you :)
     
  8. GONE Ridin' Hood

    GONE Ridin' Hood Professor.

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    HAHA LOL LOL LOL. That;s hilarius. I wonder if that has actually happened in the White House...?
     
  9. The.Jester.Race

    The.Jester.Race mankind must die

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    lol its real? O________________o no way
     
  10. incendo

    incendo Member

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    ^no, of course not, 'not' of course, not that far :) It is fake.
     
  11. marduk1507

    marduk1507 Member

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    Btw. what did you mean by "craked up", incendo? That you had been on crack, and therefore you didnt understand a thing? :p
     
  12. incendo

    incendo Member

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    I started listening to the conversation. in a minute, I found myself laughing very hardly and instead of trying to listen to the 'end' of it, I prefered to keep laughing. that's what I was trying to mean :)
     
  13. Blitzkrieg Pajo

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    sure that you were laughing very hardly? :)
     
  14. incendo

    incendo Member

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    OK, then. ---> "...I found myself laughing loudly..."

    how about this? I know I've been making grammer mistakes very often, lately, and I have a serious lack of ability to use phrases and idioms in English.
     
  15. Taliesin

    Taliesin Immaturity Aside

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    You see, hardly means "very little". It's the joke in "Working hard or hardly working!?"
     
  16. incendo

    incendo Member

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    yep. thanks everybody.

    *starts studying 'hard/hardly..hard/hardly..hard/hardly'*
     
  17. marduk1507

    marduk1507 Member

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    Yeah, those adjectives and adverbs can be tricky.
     
  18. RampageSword

    RampageSword AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!

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    Got that right. I was walking down the street and right when I was about to cross at an intersection, Reluctantly hit me in the back and stole my wallet. Bastard.
     
  19. marduk1507

    marduk1507 Member

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    Reluctantly is a sneeky bastard, I hope he didnt hit you hard. ;)
     
  20. RampageSword

    RampageSword AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!

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