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The drinking stories thread

Discussion in 'LORD' started by FerretallicA, Oct 21, 2006.

  1. FerretallicA

    FerretallicA HMAS Slagdestroyer

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    There's quite a few alcoholics on the forum and not all adventures happen at gigs. If you're just randomly drunk and can't restrain yourself from the keyboard there's this thread but if you've had past adventures that you're happy to share after the event let's hear 'em!
     
  2. Lord Tim

    Lord Tim That guy from LORD

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    Good idea for a thread, I'm sure we have at least one or two drunks on the board. But I did edit the title - you don't have to make every thread that's not an "official" one an "unofficial" one you know. ;) It's sort of redundant.

    Post away people, and like Ferret said, no random "and i got pissed as n fnk pissed off evreywon lolololo" kind of shit - only tell your STORY if it's worth telling! :)
     
  3. Dän

    Dän Guest

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    Funny you should make this thread man. Last night I got kicked out of Enigma Bar for trying to flog a jim beam and coke out of the fridge; I dont even like the fucking drink, I just wanted to see if I could get away with it :lol:
     
  4. ferdibirdi

    ferdibirdi Member

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    About a year ago (Well exactly a year ago come to think of it), I was standing by my mates car and went up to the passenger door to say bye. I was stupidly leaning into the car, and he did not realise I was there. He then took off with me on the side of the car. I rolled under the car, and he braked just as the weel was about to crush my head. I was not seriously hurt but had a nice fat graze on my head and across my left arm, several burns across my body and cuts all over me. I was so pissed I barely felt a thing and just thought it was "awesome".
     
  5. Lord Tim

    Lord Tim That guy from LORD

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  6. Goreripper

    Goreripper Metal as fuck

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    One night I went to a show in Regent St, Chippendale. Some underground reprobates had taken over this empty building and put on a Goth nightclub, a couple of black metal bands and an art exhibition. It was $15 to get in, and BYO. So I bought a pack of WIld Turkey and Colas. In between those, some evil concoction that Cameron McKenzie had in a two litre soft drink bottle and a bad cask wine that Kriss Hades and I finished off, I was so ratarsed that when I held my hand up in front of my face, I could hardly see it. I stumbled back to my car, got in and passed out. It was sometime past midnight, two streets from The Block, and my window was down. When I eventually got home, I wondered where my wallet was. Somehow, I'd thought enough to take it out of my pocket and hide it under the seat of my car.
     
  7. WestHammer

    WestHammer small member

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    i got wasted on friday, somehow lost my keys and phone between the oaks and my house (approx 250m) looked for them for half an hour, then decided it would be best if i just broke into my apartment as i'm on the bottom floor.

    i tried climbing in the kitchen window, and stepped on this little box for leverage, and it kinda broke so i stopped that.. then a security guard was driving past, and he kindly lent me his torch to smash my window in.. i tried twice and the third time, just as the torch came into contact with the glass, my flatmate screams out 'phelps nooooooo' as she was just returning home, with a set of keys.

    it gets worse.. i got inside, spewed in the bathroom sink, which is now blocked. brana (flatmate) cut her hand on a piece of glass, and that 'little box' which i stepped on earlier happened to be the gas box thing. so now we have no hot water.


    i had my mum's spare car key, one of those wierd buttony ones, 199 bucks to replace. Window, about 100, gas box thing, unsure at the moment, and i've lost all my phone numbers.

    needless to say im gonna go a month without getting drunk.
     
  8. Blitzkrieg

    Blitzkrieg Master Exploder

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    This happened 2 years ago, the week before my girlfriend and I originally got together. After a long night of drinking she ended up at the 24 hour KFC at some ridiculous hour with some friends, which is across the road from a huge cathedral. They wandered over to the cathedral after eating, still pissed as idiots, and are sitting on some big stone steps at a side door. One of her friends says "I know a guy who tried to jump down to the grass from here and broke his leg", and Jo says "what a pussy, that isn't real far at all"....I get an SMS in the morning when I am leaving for work saying "I woke up and fuck my foot hurts I think I broke it last night"....turns out she had to try jumping off the wall, broke her foot in three places, and walked a few ks home uphill. I went and had a look at it a few days later after hearing the story and it was a near 3 metre drop. What a nong.
     
  9. serenesorrow

    serenesorrow Asian Woman

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    You have a 24 hour KFC in Victoria!? Holy shit... we need them up here.

    I should contribute heartily to this thread... but I can't think of anything straight off :(
     
  10. Blitzkrieg

    Blitzkrieg Master Exploder

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    Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights.
     
  11. Goreripper

    Goreripper Metal as fuck

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    When I sober up, I will have more stories to tell.
     
  12. Celestial-Todd

    Celestial-Todd The Incredible Bulk

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    Dude.... anyone can tell you NEVER to drink something Cam offers you haha
     
  13. demented_broomstick

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    i'm pretty lucky in the sense that I usually fall asleep before I do anything really stupid from drinking. Sometimes I fall asleep standing up at gigs. A year ago when virgin black played with nazxul I was up the front to see nazxul but fell asleep and missed the whole thing..whoops!

    The only time when I injured myself was after I had come back from staying with my friend. She had been teaching me self defence stuff and how to punch people, so I spent a whole night punching whoever would let me. Needless to say my punching technique was crap after i was drunk and I ended up tearing a ligament in my hand.

    Most other stories just involve me really needing to go to the toilet and there not being a toilet there so I have to wee somewher else. Not very entertaining.

    And once at bloodlust I hit andy in the face near a poker machine apparently. sorry andy/
     
  14. Toby

    Toby Cheesegrater Of Chastity

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    Me and a few mates made the journey to Syd to catch Cannibal Corpse and we figured, since it was in school holidays, we'd stay two nights and hit up a mad pub-run the second night. Anyways, all was going well until I saw a Commodore ute and said to my mate "I don't know why, but I just reckon Falcons utes look way better." Another one of the fellas I was there with (not the one I was talking to) just yelled out "DUDE, they're exactly the same!" So I said otherwise and we consequently got into an argument about fucking utes for a good hour or so. Basically, he was REALLY fucking drunk (so was I) and was thinking about how a Ford Courier and a Mazda Bravo are exactly the same (which is true, except for like... the headlights or whatever) and was yelling about how all Fords and all Mazdas are exactly the same, and no matter how many times I told him that we were talking about Falcons and Commodores, not anything to do with Mazdas, he just kept telling me the same thing over and over again.

    So anyways, we found a kebab place and continued our argument there, the other two mates I was with laughing the whole time, haha, then I was about half way through eating that fucker when my mate ran over and "punched" me in the side of the face (about utes!!!). I returned him the favour (both of them were quite obviously drunken punches, hahah) and then I was back to hilariously laughing every time he said Mazda.

    After walking for a good 30 or so mins in total (could be REALLY wrong) we got back into our hotel room where I kept getting more and more aggrovated by this time and yeah... it ended up something like

    Me: Dude, you're being a fucken arsehole!
    Friend: Ok dude, just punch me right in the face!!
    Me: I'm not gonna punch you in the face man.
    Friend: Just fucking do it!
    Me: *Punches mate in the face breaking his nose*
    Friend: THANKS!!
    Me: *Laughs histerically* :lol:

    What a hilarious night that was... just a few hours previously we found our way into a bar called the Three Wise Monkeys (I'm sure some Syd folk'd know it) and found this fucking kick-arse live band playing upstairs! Perhaps just cause I was way pissed, but I swear they ruled! :lol: Anyway, there was a singer, but also the guitarist and bassist had mic's and the bassist was real boring onstage so I stuck a leg up on the stage (just about a foot off the floor) and yelled something into his mic. Whether or not it was the actual words to the song, I couldn't say :lol:
     
  15. serenesorrow

    serenesorrow Asian Woman

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    HAHAHA the Three Wises... I went there with my last work and got shitfaced and was almost abducted by two Thai Trannies. Luckily I only worked there for a few weeks after that.

    The bands there do rule though occasionally and the atmosphere is pretty awesome... I have also never been kicked out of there.

    Drink prices leave a little to be desired though.

    Last time I was there I remember thrashing out like an arsehole and then the next thing I remember is lugging gear halfway across the city and helping the band load up their truck and had lost my group.

    When I eventually got home I went to bed... then got up and projectile vomitted. It was pretty cool.
     
  16. Toby

    Toby Cheesegrater Of Chastity

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    :lol:

    This band had a female singer (fairly hot, shortish blonde hair) and they sang Robbie Williams - Let Me Entertain You amongst other things... familiar?
     
  17. Jonno

    Jonno Napperson McBanjo

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    A couple of years ago for a work Christmas party we went on a harbour cruise.
    After getting absolutely shitfaced on the boat for several hours the time came to return to land. As i was walking off the boat i somehow missed the wooden walkway thing and pindropped straight into the harbour :oops:
    I was fully clothed and it seemed to take forever to get back up to the surface.
    I just remember, even in my drunken state suddenly thinking "Oh fuck i'm underwater, how the hell did i get down here?" The first thing to pop out of the water when i surfaced was my beer, which was still in my hand. I recieved a bit of an applause although i still felt a right fuckwit. The other embarassing thing was that another girl did the same thing just before me and i was laughing saying to everyone "how the fuck do you fall off the boat", then in i went.

    After this everyone was going into a nightclub. My boss was really cool, he wasn't a drinker so he gave me a lift back and i got changed and then we went back to the club and met up with everyone where i continued to throw down more drinks. Next time i'm drunk on a boat i'll watch my footing a bit better hehe..
     
  18. Eramaajarvi

    Eramaajarvi A centipede

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    Well, I've not had a drop of alcohol for over a year and a half now, and it's been almost two since I last got drunk...

    So, once this friend of mine from another town came to my place, we went out, got slightly drunk and were on our way home, when another friend and a few of his mates saw us from their car and invited us to go for a beer in the garage where they have rehersals (and a lot of stashed booze too :) ). So we went... we started to play a drinking game... Soon I was more drunk than ever before. I just have flashes of what went on - I remember my friend glueing scotch tape around his head. And at one point I sat in the lap of the guy that picked us up with his car and I felt his hands on my back here and there, but didn't pay much attention to it. I just saw a sack of cookies and ate several... Then I stood up to go out and take a leak, and I found a fistful of cookies falling out of my pants - the guy has been stuffing them in there for the whole time and I didn't notice. but I didn't react, I just went back to his lap and he did it again - and I was too drunk to notice, I guess.
    On my way home I noticed cookies falling out of my pants again, but didn't pay much attention... When I got home my dad opened the door and waited for me to take my shoes off... and when I did, more cookies fell out. He just watched and didn't know what to ask, and I just picked up one cookie from the floor and asked him if he'd like one, cuz they're pretty tasty :D
    2 minutes after that I managed to convince my mom I had only one beer and that I was unable to keep my balance because I was anemic and had slight blackouts :lol:
     
  19. maiL huma

    maiL huma Collingwood forever

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    Well I have the drinking story to end all drinking stories….apologies for the length of this, but I hope you find it entertaining.

    First, the previous day’s events are needed to give you some perspective to the events that eventually unravelled, and the mindset I was in. I was in St Petersburg, Russia in September of 2001. I had decided to spend 12 days in the city to really get to know it a bit, brush up on my phrases and Cyrillic reading abilities and see everything that I could before moving further into Russia. On about my fifth day in the city I went along to the Nightwish show, which was held in the old and decaying Intourist hotel in a suburb that the girl behind the counter in the hostel warned me not to walk to. In fact, she made me get a taxi.

    The taxi ride was short and the suburb looked no better or worse than any other I had walked through in the preceding days, so I thought I’d walk back after the show. The show was great and I had a blast, and afterwards as I was walking back two other concert goers – a guy and a chick started talking to me. Once they discovered I spoke English they were realy keen to try out their English. The guy, Alex, spoke much better English than the girl, Anya, and did a lot of translating for her. He suggested we have a drink, which I was more than happy to do. Anyway, I’ll cut this part a bit short – they were both incredibly lovely people, who despite not having any money insisted on paying for everything. I had to tell Alex that it is very offensive to not let Australians return the favour of buying drinks with friends – it was the only way I could pay for anything all night. The drinking holes they took me too were small local places that you wouldn’t have a hope of finding without local knowledge, and we finished the night off in a café eating a whole smorgasbord of Russian cuisine that was truly delicious. Alex then drove me back to the hostel in his Soviet-ear kerosene powered rust bucket , and said I could stay with him whenever I was next in the city (as an amusing aside to this, Alex had about three girlfriends who continually called him all night, Anya bursting into tears whenever they did. Once she looked at me all teary-eyed and said, “This man is very bad boyfriend” which still makes me laugh when I think about it today).

    So everyone at the hostel was incredibly jealous that I had experienced the ‘real’ hospitality of Russians that we had all heard about. In all my travels, that night is up there with the best. I think about very often, particularly when I’m pissed off at the world, as it always makes me smile and remember what kindness people with no money can be capable of. The next night was a different story.

    I went to a bar which I think was called The Mushroom – I had been there a few nights previous and had a great time, plus in my current mindset of all Russians being the friendliest race of people in existence I was primed for having a good night. I started drinking with a German student who was so happy to have someone other than a Russian to talk to, and together we got rather nicely hammered. At some point he said he had classes to get to in a couple of hours and he left. Some local guys at the bar asked me over and we started doing vodka shots. By now I was in that state where you are capable of speech and actions, but have no rational thought capabilities whatsoever. They asked me back yto their place for me drinking and this sounded like the best idea in the world, so I went along.

    The other big mistake here, apart from going anywhere ina foreign city plastered, is not taking any note of where you are going so you can get your bearings if you leave, or give the police any details. Note to anyone who isn’t very travel savvy: always, always, always take note of where you are, how to get back to where you need to be, and don’t go anywhere by yourself when you’re pissed. I was travel savvy and I did it anyway, so there you go. In hindsight, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, but it’s something to be very aware of.

    We got back to this apartment, owned by a guy named ‘Yuri’. It was typical Russian décor – straight from the 1960’s, but it was immediately obvious that Yuri had a lot more money than Alex or Anya. There were three of these guys in the bar, but without even noticing there were suddenly three more guys at the table. They spoke a lot of Russian to each other, with Yuri occasionally translating for me. More vodka was drunk, more toasts were made, more merriment was had. Then Yuri suggested a game of cards. I don’t even know how to gamble, but I thought this would be a heap of fun, so I heartily agreed. Yuri started dealing the cards. Because we were given two cards I assumed we were playing 21, and I tried remembering what I had to do.

    Turned out I didn’t have to do much because I was winning every hand. Soon, I had a small pile of roubles in front of me, and I was certain I was the greatest card player in the world. Everyone was laughing and cheering me and toasting my good fortuyne. I won another round, and one of the guys started beating the table and cursing. Everyone started laughing at him, and he stood up and walked out. He came back with a bag, and rejoined his place. We had another hand, and he looks at his cards and then pulls out a solid brick of money from the bag – all US notes. He puts it on the table and says he’d like to bet this. Yuri tells me it’s $10,000 US dollars. I started laughing, then this guy started yelling at me and I noticed that no-one else is laughing, just looking at me.

    Now my bowels headed straight for my shoes. I told Yuri to tell this guy that I didn’t want to bet. The guy tells me I have to bet, he has to win his money back. I said I wanted to leave, he tells me I’m not allowed to until I’ve matched his bet. I told him I couldn’t match his bet, and he tells me I’d have to find a way, very quickly. I turned to Yuri for help, but Yuri said to me “You agreed to play, you have to match his bet.” So I said to Yuri, “I don’t have $10,000 dollars”, and Yuri said, “We can go and get it.”

    Thinking about this much later, a seemingly innocent question by Yuri at the bar probably sealed my fate. He asked me about Australian dollars and how he didn’t think I would be able to use them in Russia. I said to him it wasn’t a problem because I just used my visa card to get money out in whatever currency I needed. Another tip people: never tell anyone how you pay for things. Tell everyone you are broke.

    So, Yuri, the guy with the brick of money and another guy pack me into a car – not Alex’s Soviet-era marvel, a Mercedes. Even though I was still pissed, I knew exactly who I was dealing with now. I was put in the backseat of the car wedged between the two guys while Yuri drove. It was about five in the morning. He drove down a lot of small streets and made a few calls on his mobile phone. We arrived at this tiny little storefront in the middle of some suburb. It was a gold merchant and he was looking pretty tired, like someone had woken him up in fact. Yuri told me to give him my credit card, which I did. I told Yuri I didn’t have $10,000 dollars on the card, but he ignored me. The guy gave him the card back shrugging. A bit of an argument erupted, and I was put back in the car.

    I told Yuri again, that I didn’t have that much money on my card, but he ignored me and made more phone calls. We arrived at another storefront, exactly like the last. The guy tried my card again, but thankfully this time he gave the card back to me, not to Yuri. We were at the very end of a small dark street in an outer suburb of St Petersburg. At the end of the street I could see the main road we had turned off from, and I wanted to get back onto that road so badly – it was full of traffic and well lit. I was feeling completely sober at this point.

    I made a decision. I put the card in my pocket and I said to Yuri, “Look Yuri, I don’t have any money, I told you. I’m just going to leave now and walk home. Thanks for a good night.” I turned around and walked, and I can tell you that was the longest 100 metres in the world. I was fully expecting something to happen, but I was too scared to look back. I could hear them talking, but that was it. I got to the main street, the sun was coming up. I hailed a car (the standard method of getting a taxi in Russia – stick your arm out someone will stop and you give them money) who took me back to my hostel. I gave him everything I had in my wallet, I can’t remember how much, but he seemed happy.

    The girl from the reception desk let me in and asked if I was okay. I burst into tears and she made me tea and I told her the whole thing. At the end she said to me, “You shouldn’t have been that worried. If these men real mafya, they kill you then take your card. These men, probably mafya workers driving boss’s car. They too stupid to shoot you.” Strangely, this didn’t make me feel any better.

    This whole incident didn’t affect me for a long time. I continued travelling in Russia and had one of the most amazing trips of my life. I was a lot more cautious, and I made a point of not getting so drunk when out on the town, but I kinda shrugged the whole thing off. A few months later back home I started having some nightmares – always that walk I took away from those guys down the street, and I just kept thinking about it all the time and how close I hade come. That eventually passed as well, and now I see it as a good story, and what everyone tells you is a good “learning experience”.
     
  20. Lord Tim

    Lord Tim That guy from LORD

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    ^^ Liam wins.

    Holy shit, dude! :erk:
     

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