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The new chat thread - now with bitter arguing

Discussion in 'Dark Tranquillity' started by rahvin, Apr 13, 2007.

  1. Siren

    Siren Active Member

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    Kind of unrelated to passports and IDs, but i'm loving the new Kent album a tad too much. Lots of thanks to rahvin for providing me with the lyrics' translations. :)
     
  2. King Chaos

    King Chaos Pomeo Osoponeor

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    As a few of you people probably know, I am a CSR for Blockbuster video. So I get a few kids trying to on with the age thing. The worst thing is, when they get abusive because I can't serve them. A kid who was obviously about 12 tried to get a game that was a 15. When I asked him for ID his response was "I actually am 15 though!" to which I said, "Without ID to prove it I can't sell you the game" But he got really persistent "I am 15, so let me have it!" etc. Got some cruddy girls yesterday who started giving me loads of sarcasm like "what the hell am I meant ot use for ID?". I said they could ask their school and they'll be given a proof of age card, bring their passport or just something with their picture and name on aswell as a Birth certificate. But they thought I was being unreasonable and started giving me a load of chelp. When I explained I could get fined a shit load and get a criminal record for selling them a 15, they justs aid they wouldn't tell anyone hehe. *sigh*.

    Anyway, I'm having serious girl trouble... And I just want to write about it because it'll help, so there's no real need to read any of this. It's insanely confusing and I'm pretty depressed. My Girlfriend and I (of just over a year) broke up just over a month ago because a new guy moved in across the street from her a while back and she started sleeping over in his bed/kissed him/was best mates with him and despite me obviously showing a distaste for that kind of disloyal behavioiur (I got very jeallous) it continued and continued and escalated and she started becoming like him.

    The guy is a complete chav... Does drugs... and is basically the best example of english scum. She got roped into that sort of rave culture etc and it was heart breaking for me because it's a culture I have alot of distaste for. But anyway, I ended the relationship because she was making a fool of me with this guy, leading him on but playing emotional games with me, telling me I'm the one she really wants etc.

    I still really love her, because it's hard to just stop loving someone and she really wanted to get back with me, so the compremise was basically, I would still be here for her, but the moment I felt any tie to her (i.e. if we agreed to be in a relationship again) I just got jeallous again about all the shit that happened with this other guy. But for not being able to take her back, she has punished me by still going to this guy and his friends. I am fully aware, that she can do what she wants if I don't make her mine... But two days ago she started actually dating this guy and all this time I've felt so guilty because she's been saying I'm the only one for her and she'll never love again etc... and because of this I completely lost touch with the fact that we split up because SHE hurt ME... She hurt me with this guy, who despite her still apparently loving me etc, she is now an item with.

    It's so insanely painful, because she's trying to tell me I pushed her to him, when I've been dedicating myself to her despite us breaking up.

    I feel so mixed up now... like, guilty that I can't control my jeallousy and make her mine again... but then I also feel so betrayed. She messed me about SO much, but it's still apparently my fault that things haven't worked out because I can't swallow my pride and take her back after everything. But what's to say she'd change? There's no evidence for it so far.

    *Sigh*

    emo rant over. Tea time. Then going to work. Sorry to dump on you guys.
     
  3. Siren

    Siren Active Member

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    @King Chaos: It's ok, you're welcome anytime. You're probably not interested in what i have to say, but from the sounds of it she's way more confused than you and can't take responsibility of her own actions, so she feels the need to blame it on you. I think gaining some emotional distance would be best for you at this point, it's not like she's the last girl on earth and you deserve better than this.
     
  4. Hiljainen

    Hiljainen why can't we not be sober

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    as also you said i can't do anything to help you, i can only express my point of view, which is that, based on what you wrote, the problem is not your jealousy but the girl's attitude.
    in my opinion there are certain things that you don't do when you're in a relationship and these things include being too "friendly" with someone else, even if you don't actually do anything sexual it's still disrespectful towards your partner. plus the desire to play around with someone else is not a great proof of love.
     
  5. QRV

    QRV historyphobic

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    Well, sometimes you simply have to walk away from someone you love. I think Siren pretty much nailed it: the girl's very confused and refuses to see her own part in the situation, so she just goes the easy way and blames everything on you. But, really, the way you put it, you just did the right thing, and needn't feel guilty about anything.

    Maybe this won't tell you much, I understand that sometimes falling in love touches us in very deep levels. I guess it's just destiny, we have no control over that and in some cases time doesn't seem to be a perfect healer, but it does help to get a more centered perspective on things. I'm sure that once you put some distance you'll be able to see her more for what she really is, even if you still have some feelings for her. Just try not to get too obssesed with that, as it may blind you to a few important doors that may present to you in the future. A piece of advice for these cases: whenever you're feeling particularly distracted about it, try asking yourself, "well, what would I be thinking if I wasn't obsessed with this?" It might prove useful.
     
  6. hyena

    hyena counterclockwise

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    @gav: well, the situation sounds quite unpleasant. if i were in your shoes, the first question i would be asking myself is: why does she feel the urge to hang out with a druggie chav when she has the opportunity of being with a decent guy? what's the attraction? i am not too well-versed in the way of such people, but if the local ones are anything to go by, he probably doesn't even treat her very well, or he just does until he manages to sleep with her, then he will revert to type (arrogant and rude). why do you think she wants to be around him?

    edit: on a totally unrelated note, why am i listening to a song called "damned vampires and gothic divine"? my theory on the nightwish split looks more and more sensible every day. the new nightwish sounds like roxette, and now tarja does too. why did everyone start making cheap pop with gothic (and decidedly not divine) overtones? and the lyrics are fairly stupid to boot, on both fronts. now, tarja's voice is amazing no matter the circumstance, and this is a consolation of sorts. but it all sounds incredibly shallow. i know i'm a sucker for the whole star-crossed lovers scenarios, but i am convinced that none of the people involved will ever be able to make great music again without the desperate longing element. what comes out of tuomas' music is a disputable version of "nyaah nyaah", and what comes out of tarja's music is a disputable version of "i'm really happy, and i'm really good and sensitive too", which is also quite the "nyaah nyaah" in a different version. now, i realize that poor tuomas is not that good-looking, but must that really be the yardstick for everything, including brutalization of poor fans? :rolleyes:
     
  7. MagSec4

    MagSec4 .:..::.: :.::..:.

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    KC: If it helps you stop feeling so guilty, it's quite possible she was just trying to manipulate you/the situation. Meaning, when telling you that you are the one that matters and the one she loves, and that you pushed her to that other schmuck, she wasn't exactly telling the truth. She just wants the best of all worlds and is/was trying to keep it that way. And like it's been said already, that isn't very fair to you.
    I think she'll be fine. She seems to have brought everything on herself. So you should also be fine. Do like Qbert said, and think about other things that make you happy. Go play pool, get some imported beer you've never tried, ..get yourself a puppy.
    ..give him some beer.
    ..etc.


    ..Are there a lot of people looking for baby stalkers in your neck of the woods?

    I'm 24, and apparently I look 18. I have to present ID for anything and everything.. :bah:
     
  8. Dark_Silence

    Dark_Silence Member

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    When i did my exchange year in the US, so i didnt even try to buy beer/sneak into a bar... because people at school told me many time they tought i was 16.
    oh, now i come to think of it, i could go to the US and buy myself a beer :heh: (i turned 21 not so long ago)

    Here, the only age limitations i know for alcohol is 16 or 18, i dont know for sure since i was never asked for an ID . But again, I have only bought beer by myself. The only times i bought something with higher alcohol content, i was with taliesin and he doesnt really look younger than he really is
     
  9. Siren

    Siren Active Member

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    I'm 26 and some people still ask me which class of high school i'm going to... Even first cousins.

    Btw, i've been drinking beer since i was 5.
     
  10. Northern Lights

    Northern Lights Quicksilver

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    It's your height, mate. Sorry to say... :p

    (Though I'm just talking crap and shouldn't. 22, and I still get ID:ed for everything...)
     
  11. hyena

    hyena counterclockwise

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    you're all depressingly young. :(
     
  12. plintus

    plintus Señor Member

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    ID'd, ID'd - I wish I had your fucking problem trying to get shitfaced in a bar- what else would you be ID'd for anyway, buying two-sided 19" black dildos? Cuntfaces... I'm wandering around IKEA, and employee is trying to take me to the place where parents drop off kids while shopping, like I'm lost or something.

    I'm 26, 6'1" and 180 lbs.

    And sexy.

    Seriously: I saw 30-something y/o members of this board being ID'd and NOT LET INTO A BAR (!) Sad story, had a happy ending another time though.
     
  13. hyena

    hyena counterclockwise

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    @plintus: about one hour ago i was planning to write to you and forgot. :p i will, however, do so in the next few days. i might be planning a weekend in NYC.
     
  14. plintus

    plintus Señor Member

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    Hey, happens to me all the time (trying to catch up and forget). I need to get out, badly, and have no reason. So, yeah, - hit me up :cool:
     
  15. QRV

    QRV historyphobic

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    They hunt them down. A few months ago I was at the bar with this friend of mine who's 22, but looks like an 18 year-old, at most. Some acquaintances of her showed up, gave me rather serious looks and later she told me one of them had told her she shouldn't date people 10 years older than her.

    And I wasn't even dating her. But you see, things like that doesn't look right to the eyes of the people around here.
     
  16. plintus

    plintus Señor Member

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    Do you live around tribes or something? Unless they are her conservative parents - it's none of their business.

    But... was it around any type of Latin American thing, anyway?

    p.s. I dated younger - but legal! - girls. Big mistake. But may be sexing up for 5 hours with no breaks was a tad harsh anyway... I know... *gets back to the bathroom*
     
  17. QRV

    QRV historyphobic

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    You totally nailed it with the tribe thing. I live in one of the most conservative and retrograde (yet inhumanly rich) cities in Latin America, a statistical fact.
     
  18. plintus

    plintus Señor Member

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    Yeah, I totally knew that. I've seen that in Hollywood movies!

    p.s. How did you come up with all that "dirty Sanches" concept anyway?
     
  19. QRV

    QRV historyphobic

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    All clichés are partly based on reality, and in some cases also on prejudice and discrimination. The dirty Sánchez is a bit of both (except for the coprophilia thing, which is 100% racial discrimination). Funny how they chose "Sánchez" for that, because it's more of a Spanish name and not that frequent in Mexico, at least. They got it better with Speedy González.
     
  20. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    We're both depressingly old.
     

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