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The Opeth joke thread

Discussion in 'Opeth (Archived)' started by Profanity, May 19, 2005.

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  1. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    Make up jokes about Opeth in this thread.

    I'll start:
    Why do evil women live so long?
    because they're Black Rose Immortal.
    :lol:
     
    #1 Profanity, May 19, 2005
  2. Arnold Layne

    Arnold Layne Member

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    Jack Frober
     
    #2 Arnold Layne, May 19, 2005
  3. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    I don't understand.
     
    #3 Profanity, May 19, 2005
  4. rissy

    rissy Member

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    bass player
     
    #4 rissy, May 19, 2005
  5. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    have you read a different set of thread instructions or something?
     
    #5 Profanity, May 19, 2005
  6. Sanzen

    Sanzen Noonish Is My Robe

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    that's what I was going to ask about you and humor.
     
    #6 Sanzen, May 19, 2005
  7. spigot

    spigot Member

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    If white slutty chicks that like to bang black guys are a majority then i'm immigrating(or whatever you call it).
     
    #7 spigot, May 19, 2005
  8. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    What are Opeth most useful for?

    Operations
     
    #8 Profanity, May 19, 2005
  9. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    A man cut his leg open in the middle of the night. He was losing blood rapidly and almost dying. He couldn't go to hospital until the morning. He tried to stop the blood coming out by tying his jumper round his leg but that didn't work, he tried stitching his leg together but failed. His friend said I have a solution so he pulled out his CD player and started playing Opeth - Morningrise. The morning suddenly appeared and the man got to the hospital and lived happily ever after.
     
    #9 Profanity, May 19, 2005
  10. Kenneth R.

    Kenneth R. Cináed

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    these jokes all sucked... except for treys. and thats sad. :erk: :lol:
     
    #10 Kenneth R., May 19, 2005
  11. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    Why didn't teys joke suck?

    because he was listening to Opeth at the time of making it.

    :lol:
     
    #11 Profanity, May 19, 2005
  12. Jon Snow

    Jon Snow asoiaf afaict

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    What's the difference between a duck?


    One leg is both the same.
     
    #12 Jon Snow, May 19, 2005
  13. deliverance

    deliverance ecnareviled

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    hahaha


    mike and the opeth guys are standing at the huge cathedral doors of a beautiful church in sweden, seeking entry. mikael's wish was to get melinda baptized. the priest who answered the door laughed in their opethian faces, and slammed the large door in their swedish and uruguayan faces, respectively. Peter demanded he open the door and said "what did we do to deserve this?"

    the priest opens the door back up, points to Lopez and says "you're swedish but look mexi", points to mendez and says "your name is bass, and you're hispanic", next at peter "i saw YOU sexing my 11 year old daughter the other day."

    uhhh, excuse me, stammered mr.akerfeldt. the priest met eyes with mr.a. "what about me..i wanted to baptize my daughter, is that okay?" the priest thought for a moment and then said "ooooh no, i've seen your dvd, you like making places into fucking hell...please get the fuck away from my house."

    end.
     
    #13 deliverance, May 19, 2005
  14. deliverance

    deliverance ecnareviled

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    prostitutes are to sucking dick

    as:

    bass is to bass
     
    #14 deliverance, May 19, 2005
  15. fuscous

    fuscous Member

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    you all suck so hard
     
    #15 fuscous, May 19, 2005
  16. Don Corleone

    Don Corleone Emre

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    this is kinda hard, you know. i appreciate the efforts so far.
     
    #16 Don Corleone, May 19, 2005
  17. BrandonS

    BrandonS Member

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    Why did..... the... CD cover for MAYH.... lay an egg?
    Because it... didn't get enough calcium. AND ALSO BECAUSE IT IS EGGSELENT LOL.
     
    #17 BrandonS, May 19, 2005
  18. Mr Samsara

    Mr Samsara Misanthropic Moderator

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    I was going to delete this thread because it is so inflammatory, pointless, retarded, ignorant, offensive, abhorrent, abominable, appalling, awful, distasteful, dreadful, foul, hideous, horrendous, horrible, horrid, loathsome, nasty, nauseating, noisome, obnoxious, obscene, odious, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, scandalous, shocking, sickening, ugly, feebleminded, retarded, simpleminded; foolish, idiotic, imbecile, imbecilic, moronic; ignorant, illiterate, lowbrow, uneducated, uninformed, untaught, unthinking; absurd, asinine, balmy, cockeyed, crazy, cuckoo, daffy, daft, dotty, harebrained, insane, kooky, loony,lunatic, mad, nonsensical, nutty, preposterous, sappy, screwball, silly, unwise, wacky, zany; fallacious, illogical, invalid, irrational, unreasonable, etc... but then I would not have the opportunity to point this fact out in front of everyone.



    :yuk:


    So... yeah. this thread needs to die.

    Out.:devil:
     
    #18 Mr Samsara, May 19, 2005
  19. TehLeperAffinity

    TehLeperAffinity TehLeperAffinity

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    Why can't Bass Player have a cookout?

    Because the beans will fall through the grill. LOLOL
     
    #19 TehLeperAffinity, May 19, 2005
  20. Mr Samsara

    Mr Samsara Misanthropic Moderator

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    Of course. M-W.com :Smug:
     
    #20 Mr Samsara, May 19, 2005
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