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The Shitposting Thread

Discussion in 'GMD Social Forum' started by TechnicalBarbarity, Feb 20, 2019.

  1. Sedition and Pockets

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    Winter is my favorite season for trout fishing. The tourons are snug in their big city homes in the flatlands. The tube hatch is months away. The old men are tying flies and most of the serious outdoor folks are still in hunter mode. I've been hoping for good conditions for sniping a few big fish. The weather finally got right this week (read drizzly and gross, but not too much sky water at any one time), so I made a run up to Coal Country to fish a dirty little secret of a creek in the poorest county in the United States.

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    A little local color. There are a lot of levels of squalor out there. The normal stuff I grew up around in the network of incorporated trailer parks in my home county. Now, mountain squalor is another level, the kind that requires a multigenerational commitment to shitting where you sleep. Coal country squalor is nth degree mountain squalor. The economic and physical conditions that Americans are living under in 2020 are fucking eye opening, if you care to look.

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    It's definitely time for some new wading boots. I've thoroughly roached out the current pair.

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    There's nothing impressive about this creek on the surface. It belies the oft-stated belief of dreamy eyed fly fishing mystics that trout don't live in ugly places. This is not wild and scenic water. It's a glorified ditch cutting through an economic apocalypse zone. Due to the vagaries of geology/soil composition (the ground doesn't perc) and political economy (coal companies are and always have been bastards), it is neither possible to install septic fields, nor is there any county-wide municipal sewer system. As a consquence, most homes simply have straight pipes that flush their sewage directly to the creek. This is the only place I fish where I ALWAYS wader up.

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    Fly fishing for trout and fly fishing for big trout are two only somewhat related disciplines. Targeting large fish is its own separate game. It makes greater demands of anglers. We must be willing to submit ourselves to unpleasant, often borderline unsafe conditions, frequently at times that any human would prefer to be abed. The test of skill is greater. Stealth in the approach becomes more essential. Casts must be more accurate and line handling more precise. Detailed knowledge of trout feeding and holding behavior becomes more important; large trout do not behave like run of the creek fish. Most of all, it takes a psychological commitment to the likelihood of failure. Fishing deliberately for big trout means accepting that what you're probably not going to do is catch the fish you're after. This wasn't one of those trips, though. I laid them the fuck out. My biggest obstacle was finding a way to fit fish into my normal landing net when they were longer than the net bag, so I ended up dragging around a boat net for my second sesh.

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    Cheers y'all!

    Claire

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  2. TechnicalBarbarity

    TechnicalBarbarity -TheNightsBane-

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    "sniping a new big fish". Wouldn't doubt it.
     
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  3. Carpe Mortem

    Carpe Mortem Benevolently Batshit

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    Hell yeah man, lucky to have a nice trout stream not too far. I'm a big walleye fisherman (Michigan, detroit & st clair river) myself. Never gone for trout though. Harder to come by in my radius.

    My only question for you though is the safety of eating your catch if the rivers are that bad? Like mercury content is one thing - I'm probably way above limit on that lol - but are these fish just soaked in sewage?
     
  4. TechnicalBarbarity

    TechnicalBarbarity -TheNightsBane-

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    ...no he's not worried since he's already mutated.
     
  5. Carpe Mortem

    Carpe Mortem Benevolently Batshit

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    ....because he's a woman named Claire? I think he is just a she, dude.
     
  6. TechnicalBarbarity

    TechnicalBarbarity -TheNightsBane-

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    ... dont really care what you think. He is a dude who thinks he's named Claire. Ask him what his birth name is.
     
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  7. Carpe Mortem

    Carpe Mortem Benevolently Batshit

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    Lol I take it you have a file. From your file room, of all GMD members. Whose is the fattest now that Omni's mia?
     
  8. Sedition and Pockets

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    I would not and do not eat them. The creek is kept abnormally cold for its altitude because of all the seepage out of the shuttered mines, and honestly, the mine runoff is probably the bigger health hazard, though somehow the trout don't seem to mind.
     
  9. Carpe Mortem

    Carpe Mortem Benevolently Batshit

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    Ahhhhhh see that's a shame. Hopefully you have a close spot where you can bring home dinner. I enjoy fishing in general but nothing like hitting the limit and eating it.
     
  10. TechnicalBarbarity

    TechnicalBarbarity -TheNightsBane-

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    no i dont have a file on this tranny, but maybe if you knew what you were talking about here you wouldnt be so clueless. He's a proud "transsexual" and even made and posted some videos with his manly ass voice and big ass man paws dedicated to me. The only other file i have here is on your giant fucking wart.
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  11. Carpe Mortem

    Carpe Mortem Benevolently Batshit

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    I don't appreciate you sharing my pictures without my permission
     
  12. Sedition and Pockets

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    See, that's what pellheads (stocked trout) are for. Limits. Stocked trout are born for frying. They get the release to the grease.
     
  13. TechnicalBarbarity

    TechnicalBarbarity -TheNightsBane-

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    yea but can they perfectly balance the golf ball with their brown-eye like you can? ;)
     
  14. Krow

    Krow Garbage Connoisseur

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    how do you cook your trout? Obviously sounds like frying but whole or filets or whatnot? Cast iron or deep fryer?

    I usually scale and gut mine then place them upside down full of butter and spices in the oven but I’ve gotten tired of it recently.
    Filleting and battering/deep fry seems awesome but it feels really wasteful to me because trout filets tend to be on the small side. I really need a smoker. Love smoked fish.

    On a side note, I pan fried some trout livers once as a curiosity. Probably the most bitter thing I’ve ever had in my mouth save some bitter boletes when I was trying to find some mushrooms I could eat and was maybe a bit desperate. My dog liked them though.

    edit: coal country as in Kentucky/WV area? I’ve drove through so many of those old coal towns in southern WV. They’re sad really.
     
  15. TechnicalBarbarity

    TechnicalBarbarity -TheNightsBane-

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    been looking at a few smokers myself recently. Was thinking of going with a traditional charcoal one but one of my buddies has an electric one and says it's just as good.

    Only way i can eat fish is if its fried or barbecued
     
  16. CiG

    CiG Primordial Soup of Radioactive Sewage

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    The Shitposting Thread has officially lived up to its name.
     
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  17. TechnicalBarbarity

    TechnicalBarbarity -TheNightsBane-

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    haha tbh manhands should have posted this in the Pics or What Are You Doing thread instead of a thread dedicated to slinging shit. Mot people who click on this thread are the regulars who are just looking to fuck around about some bullshit.
     
  18. Sedition and Pockets

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    I like to smoke them whole if I have a bunch of smaller fish. Just salt and pepper. My dad lives in town and has the big green egg thing. Convenient like. If I'm preparing one larger trout, I like to butterfly filet it. Pat it dry. Salt and peppper, dust it with a little corn meal and panko crumbs. Dust mind you; you don't want it actually breaded. Pan fry it with butter and garlic in a cast iron skillet, skin side down. Melt some butter, whip it in with like a fruit compote, almost any fruit will work, and drizzle that on the fish. Garnish with toasted sliced almonds, and hit it with a little lemon juice.

    I've prepared a few exceptionally large trout, all caught trolling in deep water mountain lakes, and these I do the way I usually do salmon. Habanero honey mustard glaze and grilled.

    Yeah, SE WV.
     
    #3418 Sedition and Pockets, Jan 17, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2020
  19. Sedition and Pockets

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    You might give it a try blackened, which kind of splits the difference between those options. Especially if you do it in a skillet on the grill rather than stove top.
     
  20. Slammed

    Slammed Active Member

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    I'm more of a salt water fisherman, either straight from beaches or from boats. We've got a 7 metre (I can't be stuffed doing the imperial conversion) ocean going boat with twin 140HP engines on it, and my uncle has a 17 meter cabin cruise with 725HP Volvo Penta in it which is capable of trips for up to a week if pushed. Can't remember the last time I fished or ate trout.
     

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