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101 Rules of Female Fronted Metal

Discussion in 'Flight of the Valkyries - Female Metal Festival' started by BlackRoseMetalHeart, May 5, 2009.

  1. BlackRoseMetalHeart

    BlackRoseMetalHeart Metal Mistress

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    I just found this on Facebook. (I'll warn you now that it's kinda long.) I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry when I read this, but I was curious to hear others' thoughts on it:

    The funny thing is that most of these statements only really apply to or reference 1 or 2 of the 5 or 6 most well known female fronted metal bands out there (Nightwish, Within Temptation, Epica, Lacuna Coil, Arch Enemy, etc.). And there are other metal bands with female vocalists that don't sound like those few listed here ... Benedictum, for example, or Crystal Viper, or Vainglory, or Girlschool, or Backslash, or Doro, or Zed Yago, or ... your get the point.

    Not to mention, if you replaced "female vocalist" with "lead vocalist", many of these statements would apply to 75% of metal bands out there anyway.

    I get the joke (some of these statements are pretty funny), but I still feel like a lot of talented female fronted metal bands out there get shafted and grouped as just another untalented act riding out a fad simply because they have a woman singing for the band.

    The part about using sex to sell I've always found funny, but I don't see how using a pretty girl to catch you eye is any different than and death metal band using a violent album cover to catch your attention. Either way, if they music is good, people will listen to it. If it's not, than people won't.

    This rule I find particularly hilarious, as the first time I ever thought this about a band was the first time I ever saw an poster for the band Pyramaze, where they must have strung together every possible genre adjective that could have remotely applied to their band (i.e. "epic melodic symphonic power metal with progressive touches" or something like that). Female fronted bands are far from the only bands that do this sort of over classification.

    Your thoughts?
     
  2. PurpleCrayonWriter

    PurpleCrayonWriter Just a Kid at Heart

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    Laugh. It's absolutely hilarious.

    You should only cry if you try to prove these "rules" wrong. You'll fail. Whomever posted it is very familiar with bands like Epica, After Forever, Nightwish, Within Temptation, etc. His/her description of the music, mood, and appearance of such bands and their music is spot-on. If it wasn't, it wouldn't be nearly as clever.


    That's because it, more than likely, appeared on the Nightwish forum as a tongue-in-cheek description of the band and its drama over the years. People who follow Nightwish -- and a few similar bands -- would instantly get the humor.

    Besides, these "rules" don't have to apply to every band for them to be eerily accurate, despite their obviously humorous bent. You've seen a caricature, right? Or you've seen an impressionist do an impression of someone famous? Both are exaggerations for comedic effect.

    Likewise, these "rules" are hilarious exaggerations for comedic effect. Most of them are absolutely, spot-on true. Goth/Symphonic/Epic/Progressive metal bands with female-fronted vocals -- especially ones from Europe -- are known for following these "rules" to the letter. It has gotten so I can't tell these bands apart on MySpace. They all look the same. Sadly, many of them sound the same.

    I think someone clever -- quite possibly a fan of these types of bands -- had a lot of time on his/her hands.

    I'm willing to bet the bands themselves see the humor in these "rules."

    This was great, Bobbie. Thanks for posting it here!

    Cheers,

    Bill
     
  3. FataMorgana

    FataMorgana Fates Warning!!!

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    My favorite "rule".... :D

    53. Do not try to be Floor Jansen. You will fail in the attempt.


    Stacy
     
  4. BlackRoseMetalHeart

    BlackRoseMetalHeart Metal Mistress

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    Agreed! :lol: I laughed pretty hard when I read that one.

    Floor is certainly one of my favorite vocalists and has a pretty unique style. She does the operatic thing a bit, but puts so much more power and clarity behind it that other women who sing in that style just can't match. :headbang: (I can't wait to hear what comes of her new project/group with Jorn Viggo Lofstad.)
     
  5. RattFan

    RattFan New Metal Member

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    Actually I think that was the point of the person(s) who came up with the rules - it was poking fun at the many female fronted gothic/symphonic/power/progressive metal bands coming out of Europe who are clones of/inspired by those bands. Think about it - how many of these type of female fronted bands were there 10 years ago? Hardly any. Then since the likes of the bands you mention above started generating a strong following in the broader metal scene there's been an explosion in the number of bands (as usually happens when any musical style becomes mainstream remember all the the Ratt, Motley Crue, Poison clones, the Queensryche clones, the Nirvana clones, the Metallica clones in the past).

    There may be a number of female fronted metal bands who don't fit those rules but out of all the female fronted bands that I receive friend requests from on Myspace, those rules would apply to 95% (and the other five percent are soloists who presumably have seen that Katie Melua is on my favourite artists list).
     
  6. Firestone

    Firestone Metal Heart

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    lol It's based on the '101 Power Metal Rules', but I really liked.
    Some rules are totally true. Some bands just don't admit their influences! Even when it's pretty obvious.
     
  7. Megadon

    Megadon New Metal Member

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    My absolute favorite rule. It's my Facebook tagline...no one has any idea what I'm talking about...
     
  8. DameNation

    DameNation New Metal Member

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    All are pretty memorable rules. Just switch them up day to day lol
     
  9. DeathDancer

    DeathDancer Todesbassist

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    Haha thanks for the laugh! I concur, #53 is my favorite! Someone certainly had nothing better to do!
     

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