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apparently i am a "molester" when im sleeping

Discussion in 'Bar' started by 20Mg, Oct 9, 2009.

  1. 20Mg

    20Mg when september comes

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    My wife just told me that ive been constantly "molesting" her in my sleep..
    she sometimes woke up finding me "tuning" her nipples like a radio knob and rubbing her panties.. sometimes i even poke her back with my semi-erect penis. Fucktup thing is i have no memory of doing it AT ALL. Nada. As far as i know i slept like a corpses. Tell me im not the only one PLS.:ill:
     
  2. mick thompson

    mick thompson AKA: Ross Canpolat! SM!

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    WTF man - why are you posting this? keep this stuff to yourself and tape yourself one night when you sleep - she's prob bullshitting you
     
  3. JBroll

    JBroll I MIX WITH PHYSICS!!!!

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    Anyone else thinking this will make a horrible studio prank sometime very soon?

    Jeff
     
  4. mick thompson

    mick thompson AKA: Ross Canpolat! SM!

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    lol - "more gain please! crank it right up to 11!"
     
  5. JBroll

    JBroll I MIX WITH PHYSICS!!!!

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    "You're a bit... *flat*. Let's see if we can get you a bit more... *perky*..."

    [cue porn soundtrack]

    ...

    ["Erm, what the fuck?"
    "What? What?"
    "I'm a fucking *bassist*. You're grabbing my nipples. Porn music is going off in the background. Just what the fuck are you thinking?"
    "... oh, shit, that's right... I was supposed to use that one on an attractive female singer with poor pitch control..."]

    Jeff
     
  6. mick thompson

    mick thompson AKA: Ross Canpolat! SM!

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    hahahahaha im loving the porno music cue! bom chicka wa wa - funky bass and a rocking moaning wah - the poor bassist wouldn't know what to do with himself!
     
  7. slayercannibalsuffohead

    slayercannibalsuffohead Get a dog up ya!

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    Got the same problem, except it doesnt happen when I'm sleeping.
     
  8. narcossintese

    narcossintese Member

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    I would hate to tour with you.
     
  9. Unavailable

    Unavailable Member

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    Lol, I do the exact same thing to my gf.
     
  10. Episteme

    Episteme Member

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    First post ever in this forum, and it's in a strange thread! :lol:

    On a more serious note though, there is such a sleep disorder. It's called sleepsex or sexsomnia http://www.sleepsex.org/ has some information on it.

    This girl that I'm currently seeing told me that her ex boyfriend had serious sexsomnia issues and it was almost disturbing sometimes because he would wake up midway and have no recollection whatsoever.
     
  11. TravisW

    TravisW Member

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    I used to be a sleepwalker and sleephumper before I got my CPAP mask. Now I have to con my way into sex like every other married man.
     
  12. 20Mg

    20Mg when september comes

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    i knew it. its an disorder. Wish my girl was like that instead.
     
  13. Glenn Fricker

    Glenn Fricker Very Metal &Very Bad News

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    I roll around an awful lot. One night, I elbowed the wife in the head so hard it even woke me up!:OMG:
     
  14. Narissa

    Narissa Member

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    my fiance has done that to me in his sleep. except it went all the way... and he woke up during. lol but went with it. lol

    then again, he screams, sings, and hits in his sleep too. lol
     
  15. EerieVon

    EerieVon Member

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    Thats the excuse I have given my wife--geez honey I didnt realize I was doing that--I musta been asleep or something
     
  16. Soundlurker

    Soundlurker Member

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    One night my girlfriend's grandfather apparently woke her grandmother up with a powerful kick from behind, yelling GOOAL!!
    :lol:
     
  17. Torniojaws

    Torniojaws They call me Juha

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    :lol:

    Imagine Chuck Norris' wife in that situation :D
     
  18. Last_Confession

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    instant death but chuck norris doesn't sleep man, he simply waits
     
  19. Harry Hughes

    Harry Hughes   ‬‬

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    I'm not sure if I'm meant to laugh at the original post or not :lol:
     
  20. Mancha

    Mancha Member

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    Tuning the knobs is cool ...
    When you start using outboard gear in your sleep, your wife is gonna be reeeeaaaaly displeased :lol:
     

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