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Battle Kettle

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Fullangr, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. Fullangr

    Fullangr Loitering Dwarf

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    Battle Kettle


    The name uttered with fear
    No smile, no tears
    They'll steal your teabags 'n all
    And make a lovely brew

    The Tea of Turisas was brewed by Four Winds
    In a kettle high up in the skies
    For a teacup of honour, with a small dash of milk
    Darjeeling for me!

    Battle!
    Battle Kettle Battle
    Battle Kettle Battle
    Battle Kettle Battle

    Battle Kettle!
    As the battle rages the dearest to you, you hold in your hand -
    And stick in their lungs!

    Battle!
    Battle Kettle Battle
    Battle Kettle!

    An iron gaze of Mika
    Out of sight she stalks
    Her arrows made of tealeaves and string
    Death from the sky!

    Thunder in her eyes
    Vikingess rides
    Storming o'er the teastealers' heads
    They'll die in their beds!

    Take this teacup to your lips and be brave
    Let it lead you to your teabags and your milk
    Today!

    Hear me, tea warriors
    Teafiends from all edges of the world
    Let us join infusions
    To an army, united!

    Lettuce will guide us
    The Tea of Turisas will lead our way
    Our mouths are dry, forward march
    Our mugs cry for Twinings!

    Strongest of them all
    Lapsang Souchong
    Our wills are strengthened by the work of the pot
    We'll march 'til it's brewed

    The Tea of Turisas was brewed by Four Winds
    In a kettle high up in the skies
    For a teacup of honour, with a small dash of milk
    Darjeeling for me!



    Fucking hell I need a job...or something more productive to do than this :lol:
     
  2. Katie'Force

    Katie'Force Kables

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    Hahahahaha You're a genius girl!!!
     
  3. Thraxas

    Thraxas Ale quaffer

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    Just a shame it had to be about such a repulsive-tasting liquid. :puke:
     
  4. Fullangr

    Fullangr Loitering Dwarf

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    Just for that, I'm going to do Horlicks and Beyond tomorrow.
     
  5. Thraxas

    Thraxas Ale quaffer

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    That would be an improvement, albeit only a minor one. But would you get to the end of the song without falling asleep?
     
  6. Fullangr

    Fullangr Loitering Dwarf

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    That'd just be part of the fun.


    A challenge, if you will.

    Will also do Cursed Be Biscuits.
     
  7. Thraxas

    Thraxas Ale quaffer

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    Now that sounds more like it! And perhaps also In The Court Of Jaffa Cake.
     
  8. Fullangr

    Fullangr Loitering Dwarf

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    Not many lyrics to work with there, but I could give it a shot.
     
  9. yanara

    yanara Battle Metal

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    hahaha! really good lyrics.
     
  10. Cari

    Cari Member

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    i first read "Gaffa Tape" :ill:
     
  11. regje

    regje Crafty Duckie

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    lol, fun lyrics. And I'm more for gaffa tape, haha.

    Earlier this day I was thinking about some alternative lyrics as well, but forgot them already :S
     
  12. *Mika*

    *Mika* 'Bridget'

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    oh...dear...god....what have we started, epic alterations though :)
     
  13. Thraxas

    Thraxas Ale quaffer

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    Well, if longboats are like absolutely everything else in the world they would simply fall apart if it wasn't for gaffer tape.
     
  14. Cari

    Cari Member

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    I "wonder" why *laughing*

    (my past keeps going onto me LOL)
     
  15. Fullangr

    Fullangr Loitering Dwarf

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    Well you know what they say...gaffer tape's like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together!
     
  16. regje

    regje Crafty Duckie

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    ehm, yeah, sorry.
     
  17. Thraxas

    Thraxas Ale quaffer

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    Now if that's not worth a concept album I don't know what is!
     
  18. Fullangr

    Fullangr Loitering Dwarf

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    Oh dear.


    You do realise that if you keep coming up with this crap, one day someone's going to take you seriously and do it? :erk:


    Still, could be the concept FiF have been waiting for I suppose. I can't think of anyone else offhand crazy enough to do such things.
     
  19. Thraxas

    Thraxas Ale quaffer

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    Ah, c'mon. You know it has the makings of a musical masterpiece!
     
  20. silent_night

    silent_night Member

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    Now I rise my teacup! lol

    free-time drives people to do good things :rolleyes:
     

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