corrupt-a-wish

Granted, you have 3 weeks to plan, but nobody shows up

I wish I could go back in time

 

Granted, but you are stuck in an infinant loop of different times and places only stopping in each for five seconds (for triple j fans)

I wish my cat would stop putting her white hair on my black clothes

 

Granted, your cat puts her white hairs on your now pink clothes

I wish I had more energy

 

Granted, you now have a triple A battery, only its a very cheap brand, and it has a leak.

i wish i was 18

 

Granted, now you can be legally sodomozied by older (stronger) men.

I wish I would stop teh cring

 

Granted, now you bottle up all your emotions untill one day you finaly snap and kill several people in a freak clock-tower sniping incident.

I wish i didnt grow out of my leather pants

 

Granted, but now when you where them you look like yngwie

I wish I could get started on my 4 page paper! (due in...3 hours)

 

Granted, you get started, but you don't finish in time

I wish I had some really good salsa to eat with my chips

 

Granted, but you develope an alergy to tomato, onion, capsicum, sugar, corn starch, salt, spices, and chillies.

I wish i didnt have to mow the lawn today

 

^granted, but the neglected lawn becomes a jungle and you get eviscerated by a tiger.

i wish guys werent such dumbasses.

 

hmmm, i do not understand how it is possible to corrupt a wish like this, because it is impossible to grant it seing as i know many, many, many guys who are not dumbasses.

anyway, dont let me rain on your parade

 

Granted but guys all become too smart to like chicks like you.

I wish I didn't live in a dry county.

 

^granted, but you drown in a flood.

i wish my car didnt suck so fucking much.

 

^Granted but now everything else in your life sucks.

I wish some people wouldn’t bust my balls all the time on msn.

 

^ Granted, people now bust your balls in real life

I wish I had a nice chicken fried steak dinner

 

^granted, but you get bird flu.

i wish it would snow.

 

granted but the snow is black and stains your underwears.

I wish the beer drinkin didn't make my head hurt afterwards.

 

Granted now your head hurts before and during the beer drinking.

i wish i had a soft pillow

 

granted, but you don't have a bad OR a house. you end up sleeping in a dark swamp with your nice soft pillow when a croc eats you alive in the middle of your pathetic attempt at sleeping.

i wish i didn't have to lie.

 

Granted, you don't have to lie, but the truths you tell are thought to be lies anyway

I wish I had a nice cheeseburger