Someone heard me bitching about emo kids, and they asked me to define "emo." So I made a little list... Emo is... 1.) ...just like steroids; your balls shrink and you soon become unfit for human companionship. Of course, instead of getting ripped, you just get a really gay haircut. 2.) ...the social, artistic and intellectual equivalent of prostitution, only without the part where you get laid. 3.) ...what happens when stupidity and sexual frustration collide, but you're still too big a pussy to just go rape some bitch. 4.) ...the stench of pube sweat mixed with the unmistakable odor of Hot Topic. 5.) ...what happens when hippies think you're pretentious and goths think you're a total fag. 6.) ...a musical form distinguishable from every other modern rock travesty only by a lack of masculinity so severe that it makes Radiohead look like Motorhead. 7.) ...just like Indie, only for kids who lack the motivation and the wheels to drive over to the dingy little record store that creepy old guy owns. 8.) ...the diabolical invention of a balding gay A&R rep who couldn't find any other way to score a BJ. 9.) ...rather like a Guidance Counselor's day set to music. 10.) ...basically for people who think "This is what being an adult feels like" when they're busy not impressing chicks at Starbucks.