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First Birthday without my dad

Discussion in 'Laser's Edge' started by entropywins, Aug 16, 2011.

  1. entropywins

    entropywins Member

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    Today is the first birthday I'll have without my dad. He died back in December after a long battle with alcoholism and other serious health issues. He was only 64. I don't mean to be a downer but just when I think that grieving is getting easier, one of these "firsts without dad" things comes up. Father's day was especially difficult.
    So, I'm having a rough time today guys. Not sure why I posted this. Maybe someone here has been through something similar.
    Any particular musical therapy suggestions?

    Thanks guys.
    --Sean
     
  2. DeepestPurple

    DeepestPurple Member

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    Hey Sean, my sympathies. Music can certainly be a comfort (though not knowing your tastes thoroughly, you're probably a better judge of what would help than I'd be).
    Losing a loved one is never easy. I lost my best friend almost a decade ago, and I looked up to him tremendously as a mentor/father figure (since my own dad was rarely around). Time will help somewhat, but one must remember to try and be happy you knew them, and focus on the good times.
    I have albums that help me sometimes (The Moody Blues' Days of Future Passed & Devin Townsend's Ghost are especially soothing, and Karmakanic's Wheel of Life is very upbeat and optimistic with lots of major key stuff- so is Roine Stolt's instrumental Hydrophonia album, though its keyboards are a little cartoonish) but it's different for everybody (my friend listens to Manowar on the anniversary of his friend's death, because it reminds him to stay strong- whatever works!). Hope you find whatever may help. Rather than wallowing, I'd just encourage you to stay positive, hard as that can be. Best wishes buddy, we're all here to talk and hopefully lift your spirits :)
    -Will
     
  3. Metman

    Metman Buffalo Bills /Mets/Rangers Fan

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    I lost My Dad a year ago in May 2010.. He wasnt just My Dad But My Best Friend.. I miss him Dearly ,They say Time Heals all wounds.... Well for me its not that time yet, Sorry for your lost....Think of all the great times you had together....Thats what gets me thru................:)
     
  4. Neoman

    Neoman Member

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    I am sorry for your loss Sean.
    My wife lost her mother also in December, & there isn't a day that goes by she doesn't think of her.
    She has her good days & bad days as I am sure you do but she remembers, like Bob said, all the good things they shared &
    it gives her a bit of comfort. Also she remembers the funny times & she gets to smile. As far as musical therapy, I always play my favorite albums (the ones I never tire of)
    Hang in there! :)
     
  5. TitoC

    TitoC Member

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    My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you as well. I lost my dad in 2004 and as Metman stated, time heals all wounds...just how much time...who knows. I still miss my dad every day. What gets me trough is remembering good times; especially those music-related. I remember my dad would call me in his room and sit me down and say now listen to this Buddy Rich drum solo (LIVE right in the middle of Sing, Sing, Sing). I would, and then I'd be like, "Hey dad, check out this Neil Peart drum solo," and he would. He loved Big Band and Opera, and although not my NORMAL tastes, I still whip out Faust or that Sing, Sing, Sing live rendition from time-to-time. I also remember a time when I was putting a floor down for him and I had some music blasting...he was like "turn that DOWN...that music is terrible!" It was probably some thrash metal. Anyway, I put on Thin Lizzy - Bad Reputation and in like 15 minutes dad was standing at the door. "What is THAT you're listening too?" "Thin Lizzy dad." "Dumb name...sounds good though, go ahead and turn that up."

    I miss my dad...but I wouldn't trade these memories for anything. Hang in there! It really does get better.

    My best,

    Tito
     
  6. entropywins

    entropywins Member

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    Thanks for all your kind words and support guys, I really appreciate it!
    Sometimes remembering the good times is really hard just becuase of how the latter part of his life was--not really a lot of good times there. But that said, I do have plenty of memories from earlier in life that always bring a smile to my face. My dad was a HUGE music lover; even sung in a band back in the day. When I went through my various musical stages I awlays found bands to torture him with. When I discovered Rush it was like an epiphany for me musically and I would always try to get him to like them. He just couldn't stand Geddy's voice. On the other hand, he would make me listen to Leon Redbone, Ricky Nelson, and the Doobie Brothers. I never much cared for any of them but when I hear the Doobie Brothers, or CCR, or Dobie Gray now I always think of my dad. Good times sharing music.

    Thanks again all--it's good to know eveyone here is so supportive.
     

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