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Fuck my life...

Discussion in 'Bar' started by Nuno Filipe, Dec 6, 2014.

  1. indecizo

    indecizo Member

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    I don't know what medicine they gave you, anti-depressants worked wonders for me and my mom without side effects.

    My mom had terrible depressions and went to a big name neurologist from here because she had terrible anxiety disorder and she's still taking medicine but she feels now a million times better and I can totally see it. I had massive depressions too and went to see her doctor, although I could have seen a psychiatrist but I had confidence in that man because he fixed her so I started going with him, he gave me a small dosis of medicine with the weaker substances and slowly going up to the stronger ones until I felt better. I went to see a psychologist before that for like 10 sessions but she told me things what I already knew and told me to do x and y things that I don't feel like doing in the first place because I'm depressed, and if I don't do these I'm going to stay like that. I remember that after each visit I ended up even more depressed.

    I went from wondering why I'm lost with no goals and not having friends or girlfriends feeling down and miserable most of the time, to actually have goals in life and to be probably one of the most invited to hang out and to parties in college and getting the girls I want. All of that because I never felt like doing better things, the medicine put me in the mood of act different and in a more positive way. Basically if you are feeling in a negative way, only negative things come from it in a never ending cycle; but if you are feeling in a positive way, you know, positive things come from it. The only thing to worry about the medicine is that they might take a lot of time to work.

    That's right, there is a process to slowly take lesser dosis but I think it's right to say to be careful to suddenly stop them because you could end up feeling even worse.

    To OP you already said that you are not healthy, to feel too stressed in your job and you feel often fatigued. You could start with a healthy diet, go to the gym, seek for another job if it's too shitty, etc.
     
  2. Ermz

    Ermz ¯\(°_o)/¯

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    These identity crises' are fairly common amongst people, insofar as I've experienced. Part of it seems natural for the individual, as they age and gain a different perspective on life, but the other part has always seemed like maladjustment from a fractured social structure to me.

    We're lucky, in ways, to live in what is the most convenient period in human history - at least here in the western world. Food is available on demand, shelter, entertainment - the entire world is at the reach of our fingertips on account of media and the internet. We don't have to worry about foraging for food, fighting for our lives or always staying at the top of our game - at least as long as we're willing to submit to some form of subservience or employment in order to validate our membership to this society. Yet, in spite of all this, so many people seem profoundly sad, lost, despondent.

    I see it as a bit of a perfect storm. So many factors - cultural, technological and economic seem to be reaching a boiling point where they're pushing us to live very unnatural lifestyles, within tiered systems of interaction that are entirely artificial and unfulfilling.

    There seems to be something about living a hollow, cyclical life that doesn't resonate well with us. Adhering to any kind of work regimen, whether it be a 9 to 5 grind, or even chasing something you're passionate about prolifically is prone to burn you out after a given amount of time. It gets worse the older you become, as you realize that the money you've gained can't be cashed in to get those lost years back. No matter which road you take, whether you grab the carrot on the stick in return for menial labor, hoping that the rewards will counter balance having lived your life fulfilling somebody else's dreams, or whether you spend your life chasing your own dream, potentially just to end up nowhere and destitute all the same. Everything is an investment, a risk, and there are regrets to be had no matter where you go.

    It doesn't help that there's such a pervading focus on money, youth and vanity across society as a whole. It's true that money in many ways equals liberty within this paradigm. Everything is for sale, and the more money you have, the more leeway it provides, and the less impetus to submit yourself to labor you don't want to be doing. Yet to get to that point often takes the best years of our lives, thus leading us back into the catch 22.

    Social media is a great way to gauge how fractured our interactions have become. We may have hundreds of 'friends' yet still be profoundly alone. We may have access to everybody, but how meaningful are any of those relationships? We're now witnessing the first generation of people coming through, that have had access to the internet for their entire lives. It seems a large part of their identity consists of needing narcissistic validation for every single minute achievement they experience in their daily lives. Everything is an event, whether it be a change of hair style, trying a new recipe or simply wanting the attention. I assume we've all seen the outcries for connection, whether it be a vague status update, frustrated outcry or an onslaught of self serving motivational quotes that so strongly fuel a person's self denial. I also assume we've seen the waves of hollow, placating 'you'll be alright' cliches piled on in their wake. Being a social species, we long for connection - real connection, not that which is found garnering meaningless 'likes' from strangers we will likely never even interact with in our daily lives. We're a tribal species, and long for a close sense of community - to 'know' the people around us truly, and to feel like we are a part of something. This grander society paradigm leaves us feeling isolated. We have so many people in our lives, in one form or another, that we rarely get the chance to get to know any one of them truly.

    Then at the heart of it you have this interesting idea of interacting through the medium of commerce. Whether it be waiting staff at a cafe, a telemarketer or your stock broker, so many of your interactions with people are obfuscated by commerce. It's hard to tell when something is genuine if the entire interaction is perverted by some self-gain principle. Even here you've had people encouraging you to pay for a therapist to deal with your issues. What an interesting state of affairs when a society, so fractured, actually breaks the individuals attempting to adjust to it, then encourages those individuals to pay back into it in order to further facilitate the life-long adjustment process. I've had a lot of people around me go this route, and have never observed any measurable change as a result. At least not any change that wasn't actuated by the individual themselves.

    My thought is that depression is simply a state of mind. Whether you define it as a wanting of control within your life, continuing to live in the past or dwell on elements which cannot be changed, the outcome is still the same for you. The only person that can help you is yourself. You have to define which things need to change, and which things you cannot affect. Nobody can give your life meaning other than yourself. School doesn't gear you up for this, and neither does work. It's a non-consideration in the wage-slave grinder. You need to find a way to liberate yourself from the circumstances which are leading to this lack of fulfillment.

    A good first step is usually to take a step back, take some time away, have some new experiences and then look back on your regular life with fresh perspective. Actuate some positive change with diet and physical exercise, if possible, because that can take some of the edge off the negative feelings, and you'll be able to observe the important things in your life with clearer perspective.

    PS. Apologies if this read incoherently or seemed filled with non-sequiturs. I'm sure there's a grander point I'm aiming at, but it's hard to stay with it when it's 5am and the mind is crying for sleep.
     
  3. Star Ark

    Star Ark Member

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    I think our genes demand more action, terror and triumph. Thousands of years ago our ancestors were taking down mammoths and mega fauna in huge teams, then we marched home bodies splattered with blood, enough food to survive the next few weeks, and fucked our adoring women. I imagine true friendship was much stronger and our minds evolved to require these experiences and thrive on them. The last few thousand years have changed our behaviour but we are still the same animal that we were back then. Today we don't need comrades to survive, we don't face daily threats to our existence but likewise we don't ever feel the rush of surviving another day. Look at domesticated animals. They still act on instinct and fight or flight responses and humans are much more prone to health problems. Our friend's crazy cat that runs for its life everytime the neighbour's dog barks does not end up shell shocked and at the therapist due to stress. Humans are some of the most physically pathetic creatures on the planet due to the environment we made for ourselves.

    Sorry for the rant but I agree with OP. You need to get out there, take a risk, almost fail and then triumph with a good group of people by your side.
     
  4. Notuern

    Notuern Bloody vaginal belch

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    I highly recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, its basically about learning why and how you move between different emotional states and learns you to move from one to the other.
    I had very similar problems, but through CBT i basically learned how to switch my emotional state to a more positive and happier one.

    Some basic CBT you can do before meeting a therapist is the following:

    1. Make a list of things that normally would make you feel relaxed and happy.
    2. The first thing to do when you wake up is to take a shower(You should try not to snooze or do anything that stresses you before showering.).
    3. Take a walk, it doesn't have to be long but longer walks are usually better(The sunlight as well as the physical activity releases allot of healthy hormones.).
    4. Do one of the things on the list mentioned in point 1.
    5. Don't spend more time trying to do these things than you feel that you have time for.. its better if you only spend 10-15 minutes each morning and feel relaxed than spending to much time doing it and feeling pressured(But it is important to be consistent about following through each day.).

    Eventually this will raise your lower point somewhat, its basically about teaching your brain to chill the fuck out and be a bit happier again.. it takes a few weeks before you'll really notice anything though.

    Another thing is to stay away from quick dopamine kicks, just keeping your dopamine levels even will help you ALLOT(Sex is the exception though since it releases so many healthy hormones.).
     
  5. AD Chaos

    AD Chaos MGTOW

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    Freedom is a relative ideal, it's never an absolute in real life. By definition we are born from other people who, in a way, 'own' us, or at least, we owe to them our very lives. We aren't born out of our own free will; none of us is truly free or self-sufficient from the rest of mankind, specially nowadays.
    As the world keeps getting more stuffed with people, we'll keep seeing how less 'special' we are, so many millions of people out there besides oneself.
    I think a good way to overcome this is by trying to become a better human being, or a better version of yourself, and also better at what you like to do, each day. That can help give your life meaning, and also make you feel better about yourself.

    The only sense of 'freedom' you can attain by yourself is the feeling that your decisions are your own, that the path(s) in life that you choose has been chosen by you, not imposed onto you by someone else.
    Just bear in mind that whatever paths you take, there will always be regrets, and many other choices, chances, relationships, etc you'll inevitably miss and never get to experience; try not to become too depressed about that. That's just the way life is.


    I think once we hit 30 the 'warranty' on our body expires. I used to pity people who had to go to doctors, nowadays I'm going to a doctor appointment at least once, each month or two, for whatever reason, spending some money on exams or the occasional prescription. It's normal. Sounds like you need to start taking better care of yourself so as to improve your health, and your sense of well-being.

    I'd also say if you want to do something (positive) in life just do it, you owe it to yourself. Don't let time catch with you until you no longer have a choice. Despite what religious people tell you (to try to convince themselves) you only get to live once, and if we get to choose only one path -or a limited number of them, at best- then might as well make it a worthwhile one.

    If you find the correct one person that will give meaning to the rest of your life you'll be set, but before that, I think it's important to try and reach a balance of your own self.


    Take control of your life and do it yourself, so that it has meaning for you.
     
  6. LeSedna

    LeSedna Mat or Mateo

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    You know what, I'm gonna apply these. Sounds reasonable, simple, and probably beneficial in the long term ! And I will fight my procrastination by making "guitar playing" one of these things from number 1 :p
     
  7. Nuno Filipe

    Nuno Filipe You talkin' to me?

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    Once again, thanks a lot all of you for your helpful posts, there are here valuable information. It´s just another phase, it happens once in awhile but I am already taking actions to overcome.
     
  8. Plendakor

    Plendakor Member

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    Sleep, eat well, nofap. You'll have a clear head, feel well, and have mental/physical stamina.

    Eat well to sleep better. Sleep better to nofap. Nofap to eat.

    Btw.. no nofap thread ?
     
  9. jamvanman

    jamvanman Member

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    1. get sunshine in the morning
    2. exercise, even if its just walking as said before, but something that raises the heart rate is good
    3. eat well (more fruit and vegetables) and cut down on caffeine and alcohol
    4. meditation / yoga / mindfulness, and practice abdominal breathering
    5. persevere with the above for at least a couple of months
    6. reconnect with something you used to enjoy or take up a new interest or hobby
    7. see a doctor or psychologist if you need more help
     
  10. Keregioz

    Keregioz Kimon Zeliotis

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    Τha amount of people advising to stop fapping is making me even more depressed.

    I'm just gonna go fap to feel better and distract myself from all this.
     
  11. Fox Mulder

    Fox Mulder The Truth Is Out There

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    Religious people and Quantum Physicists, especially Robert Lanza. But the latter aren't hell bent on it and it's still just a theory. :tickled:
     
  12. Fox Mulder

    Fox Mulder The Truth Is Out There

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    Aha!

     
    #32 Fox Mulder, Dec 10, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2015

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