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***Funny!!**

Discussion in 'Orphaned Land' started by Metal head87, Jul 25, 2006.

  1. paradoxile

    paradoxile Den Sista Ljusbäraren

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    do you know what's better than shawarma?

    sex
     
  2. Metal head87

    Metal head87 Member

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    That is not true.
    Getting mouth pleasure from a girl with a tongue ring, maybe.

    Only thing better than shawarma is sushi.
     
  3. Miltbrand

    Miltbrand Member

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    Haha, just saw this on an Israeli website:

    [​IMG]
     
  4. paradoxile

    paradoxile Den Sista Ljusbäraren

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    hey there man,
    long time no see

    Jeg har savnet dig så meget, min kærlighed:lol:
    hvordan har du det?
    Sig hej til Muhammed fra mig:loco:

    how long do you have left until you return home?
     
  5. Miltbrand

    Miltbrand Member

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    :oops:

    7 days! Then it´s back home to a shitload of :kickass: and :headbang: !!!!!!!

    Muhammed says Salaam aleikum (something like that?)
     
  6. Ollo-San

    Ollo-San Ollo-San

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    i want a chich taouk
     
  7. sabrina

    sabrina forever orphaned

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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]


    ah ah ah aha ah :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  8. paradoxile

    paradoxile Den Sista Ljusbäraren

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    sweet!
    but aren't you forgetting something?

    shitload of drikker,rocker og knepper

    :cool:
     
  9. sabrina

    sabrina forever orphaned

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  10. Ollo-San

    Ollo-San Ollo-San

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  11. unearthly

    unearthly How dare you!!

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  12. paradoxile

    paradoxile Den Sista Ljusbäraren

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    rock out with your pokemon shirt out!
     
  13. Ollo-San

    Ollo-San Ollo-San

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  14. Vulcano

    Vulcano Drop forged steel

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  15. BC-A

    BC-A Orphaned Child

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    A new version of the "Mabool"

    The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark. "Okay," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."

    Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard weeping, but there was no ark.

    "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "Where is my ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

    "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction, but Your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a sprinkler system.

    My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating planning permissions by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the council planning board.

    Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and Wildlife Trust that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls.

    Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind.

    Just when the suit got dismissed, the Eviromenta Planning Agency notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filling out an environmental impact statement on Your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the Supreme Being. Then, they wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!

    Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire. The Inland Revenue has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the council that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years."

    With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

    "No," said the Lord. "The government already has."
     

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