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Hey, I got this cool story...

Discussion in 'Children Of Bodom' started by (__Joonas__), Oct 25, 2015.

  1. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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    So I was out hanging with this fucking guy Tom the other day (can't use his full name so I don't get neck deep in shit) and didn't survive home until early morning, wanna hear just what the hell happened?
     
  2. Norbix

    Norbix Member

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    sure bro
     
  3. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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    Well we had tea in a park, it was sunny with autumn maple leaves scattered all across the beach, you couldn't begin to imagine the aromal sensations and awakening of spirit. We both had a meeting scheduled with a hooker in a nearby hotel.
     
  4. mrKRB64

    mrKRB64 Member

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    Did you spread atmosphere all over her face, neck and chest and then say how terrible the new COB albums are as you tried to cuddle?
     
  5. iPot

    iPot fUCkTarD

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    Hey dude don't stop here! I want to hear more! What happened with the hooker?
     
  6. NewHewkas

    NewHewkas Scheiße Gitarre Spieler

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    Yeah, where's the interesting story?
     
  7. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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    Well we were kinda tense but eventually the female company arrived, but it turned out my buddy Tom forgot his wallet home after his business, and trusted me to have cash. I kinda paled or blushed when the pimp guy leered at me over his newspaper as I emptied my pockets, it was embarrassing and unnerving. Here we are with these smoking hot bitches hair sticking up all sweaty and Tom got us into some thriller action. So the chicks accused us of theft and the pimp started findling his cell immediately. I said you know this shit's illegal right, he'll pay you next time. There won't be no next time, yada yada, and the bitches went talking to their guard and that's when we felt a rush of blood and it was clear that instant we had to run.
     
  8. iPot

    iPot fUCkTarD

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    And then? Who was the guy the pimpster called or messaged? Why is Tom such a dumb fuck?
     
  9. NewHewkas

    NewHewkas Scheiße Gitarre Spieler

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    So you went to a pimpster? Why don't you go to an independent one, I think you finnish people have that kind of websites without pimpsters, but I don't really know I didn't try out this way of love making...
     
  10. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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    It was just uncomfortable, but being the animal I am my instincts took over and I zapped to the door, Tom trailing close behind, followed by the shocked sighs of the girls. The pimp was definitely onto something, but didn't even try to outrun us, being the fat fuck he was. Eventually we arrived in a remote grassland among huge trees and breathed heavy into the autumn air, smiling in the sun as the laughter of relief and joy vapoured into cold air. But it wasn't long until our flee was cut short by a group of men emerging from a car that suddenly parked right in front of us. The club hurt. Next thing I know I'm laying sore on a hard surface with beams of light penetrating thru my closed eyelids, and I hear Tom aching in terror, complaining how his ass hurts.
     
  11. iPot

    iPot fUCkTarD

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    Plot thickens! Who were the guys who whacked you? Did Tom survive the anal annihilation?
     
  12. ESA1996

    ESA1996 Member

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    :lol: Do continue with the story.
     
  13. GuyOne

    GuyOne Member

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    So wait wait wait... back up Joonas this is Tom of Finland right?
     
  14. The Butt

    The Butt Unholy gas, flares from my ass

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    Too many Netflix and Chills with tom?????
     
  15. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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    So I turned my aching head to glance at the room. I heard a humming sound, and saw what appeared to be the silhouette of a black ***** raping Tom. That was too much. I squinted my eyes and raised my head... no... couldn't be. It was no *****, it was a humanoid space alien anal probing Tom. Soon as the humanoid realized I was awake he pulled out a machete and decapitated Tom. He was done in a blink of an eye. His head floated in the absence of gravity, with drops of blood. Well I never liked him much anyway. I shouted in terror, but immediately a stunningly hot alien female slapped my face and pushed me down on the table, attempting to have sex with me. I politely said no, and she started crying. Let me loose, I shouted, and soon I was hovering in the spacecraft, about the size of a living room. I journeyed to the ship's huge windows to stare at the hypnotizing galaxy. I ventured at the pilot's throne where a humanoid sat all covered in plugs and shining, beeping devices, monitoring the screens and hologrammic hieroglyphs. This humanoid looked different, he had long hair, an awkward beard, black leather jacket and an amused grin on his face... It was Roope. It all became clear that instant: he never left his band, it was only a story... he disappeared. And he wasn't just taken aboard on a spaceship, he was a space alien himself from the beginning. It dawned on me - that's why he always seemed kinda weird.

    And you will all be pissed when I tell what he had with him on the ship.
     
  16. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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    ^^Gotcha, post jump bitch.
     
  17. ESA1996

    ESA1996 Member

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    Booze? Poor Tom :lol:

    ^^Though you did, cheat bitch.
     
  18. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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    Do you want to hear the mysterious or the pervert part of the story? Can't say much.
     
  19. iPot

    iPot fUCkTarD

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  20. (__Joonas__)

    (__Joonas__) † Followed the Reaper †

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