I'm posting this here because I value the opinions of those I know share my love for music that's always made me feel better. And lately, I've come to wonder whether I need to seek medicinal help. I'm 28, I have my life ahead of me; graduating college in May, have a wonderful girlfriend, no debt, my health, yet something is awry. I feel lost at times, I let the littlest things in life are too much. I get irritated at the smallest of things. My girlfriend is slowly being pushed away by my irritability and mood swings. So far in my life, I've self medicated: Pot, Alcohol, anti-anxiety drugs, money, girls. But that's all changed, and here I am. Depression runs deeply into my family; my mom attempted suicide and has manic depression, it's also on my fathers side. My problem is I view it as weakness, and I don't want to change who I am. I love metal, I love my cynical, sarcastic side, I don't want to take a drug that will change who I am. I know I need it, but I don't want it. I think I'm too strong for some anti-depression drug, but I know I might need it. So in my time of need, please give me advice. To those with depression, or those who have sought help, give me something to run with. Because I can't hide from this any more.