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Jokes

Discussion in 'Saxon' started by saxonfan, Dec 6, 2002.

  1. saxonfan

    saxonfan Member

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    There was a plane crash in the middle of nowhere.There was nothing around but one house.The 3 survivors went to the house to see if they could persuade the old lady inside to let them buy some groceries.The 1st guy said,"You guys wait here.I'll go inside."So he went inside and asked the woman if he could buy some food.She said,"Only after you have sex with me." Not knowing what awaits him,he said yes.The woman took off her panties and there was a huge scab on her vagina.He peeled it off and threw it out the window.He went at it like a monkey and when he was done,he walked outside with food and said,"OK guys,we can eat now."The other 2 men replied,"But we already ate."The 1st guy replied,"What do you mean?"They said," Oh,we ate that pizza you threw out the window!"
     
  2. Black Lagoon

    Black Lagoon Member

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    Urrrggghhhh!!!! :lol: :lol:
     
  3. Paxoman

    Paxoman Member

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    I'm just gonna go and throw up! :puke:
     
  4. Crusader

    Crusader Metal addict

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    I allways wondered were people get those sick jokes from! :lol:
     
  5. saxonfan

    saxonfan Member

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    Why do women have 2 sets of lips?So they can piss and moan at the same time.
     
  6. Crusader

    Crusader Metal addict

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    you're sick!! stop it!!
     
  7. dragonmaiden

    dragonmaiden Lady of the Vale Forlorn

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    All I can say is Errrgh!! to the first and Oi!! to the second!!
     
  8. WILKS

    WILKS Member

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    WHAT KIND OF PIZZA WAS IT I LOVE MEAT FEAST.THANKS SAXONFAN JUST TOLD THE WIFE AND GOT A SLAP!:eek:
     
  9. Meshie

    Meshie Member

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    hhehehe!,,,,,,, gross or what!,,,,,,, nothing like a fish topped pizza , with extra plum red tomattos!,,,,,, :lol:
     
  10. saxonfan

    saxonfan Member

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    3 generations of prostitutes are talking about hard times.The daughter says" You know I can only get 20 quid for a blow job."The mother says, "When I was your age I only got 3 quid for a blow job and was very happy to get it."Grandmother goes on to say,"When I was your age we gave blow jobs just to get something warm in our bellies."
     
  11. Crusader

    Crusader Metal addict

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  12. Sammi951

    Sammi951 Member

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    Here's one to get Saxonfan back for that sexist joke...

    "Why do men have their best ideas whilst having sex??"

    "Cos they are plugged in to a fucking genius"!!

    Aint that the truth!! :lol: ;-)
     
  13. Black Lagoon

    Black Lagoon Member

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    :LOL:

    Why do women have legs?

    Have you seen the mess slugs make!
     
  14. Sammi951

    Sammi951 Member

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  15. WILKS

    WILKS Member

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    NICE ONE SAMMI951:lol: :lol: :lol: THE WIFE LIKED THAT ONE.
     
  16. Twisted Tony

    Twisted Tony Old School Metalhead

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    I am sure to get alot of flak for this but I don't care! Here goes:


    What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?


    Nothing! You told the bitch twice already!!!!:lol: :heh: :lol:
     
  17. Sammi951

    Sammi951 Member

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    Yeah, thought your Mrs might like that one Wilks...one for the girls, eh? ;)
     
  18. Sammi951

    Sammi951 Member

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    Oooh, Tony....you're treading on thin ice there!! :lol: I like that one actually - appeals to my strange sense of humour!! :lol:
     
  19. Twisted Tony

    Twisted Tony Old School Metalhead

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    Migraine Headaches
    A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.

    "Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience.

    When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."

    Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"

    "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

    "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house."
     
  20. Paxoman

    Paxoman Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: Good one Tony!
     

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