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Lets Talk About Random Shit Thread.

Discussion in 'CoB Off-topic' started by Feel_The_Force, May 25, 2006.

  1. vikk

    vikk Member

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    1:00 am and i can't sleep
    now 2:00 gonna drink myself to sleep
     
  2. EddyRX10

    EddyRX10 rtard

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    by Terry Bisson published in Omni, 1990
    THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT
    "They're made out of meat."
    "Meat?"
    "Meat. They're made out of meat."
    "Meat?"
    "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
    "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"
    "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
    "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
    "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
    "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."
    "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."
    "Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."
    "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"
    "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."
    "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."
    "No brain?"
    "Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."
    "So ... what does the thinking?"
    "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."
    "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
    "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"
    "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."
    "Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
    "Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"
    "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."
    "We're supposed to talk to meat."
    "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."
    "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?" "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
    "I thought you just told me they used radio."
    "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
    "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
    "Officially or unofficially?"
    "Both."
    "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
    "I was hoping you would say that."
    "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"
    "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
    "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
    "So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."
    "That's it."
    "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
    "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."
    "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."
    "And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."
    "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
    "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
    "They always come around."
    "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."
     
  3. CliffBurton

    CliffBurton Member

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    Because my mornings lately have consisted of sitting around for 2-3 hours with shit all to do, while I wait for my roommate to stop me so I can work out.
    That, and I'm not the type of total fag who takes a random drunk rant seriously.
     
  4. Crzy_Aus

    Crzy_Aus Crazy Violin Guy

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    :lol: Not what your ragequit post back then said.
     
  5. CliffBurton

    CliffBurton Member

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    deeeerp and hopefully this changes as I got my first interview in a kitchen today yaayyy!! :D
     
  6. Nerve

    Nerve Record Collector

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    PEOPLE WHINING BECAUSE YOU REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS

    SERIOUSLY
     
  7. Windie

    Windie oh okay.

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    Facebook is faggotry
     
  8. Ess en

    Ess en Member

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    Fuck yeah, dude. Show them the mean salad you can make. =O
     
  9. CliffBurton

    CliffBurton Member

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    I told them I can lift 50lbs of potatos and got the job. Its fucking diiirrtty, and they only gave me dinner shifts on Sat-Sun. The boss is some punk with a dirt-stache, I felt his hand crack when I shook it.
     
  10. Ensi

    Ensi CAT WITH FUKKEN PODS

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    Why would you get a job if... it's like that.
     
  11. Crzy_Aus

    Crzy_Aus Crazy Violin Guy

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    Lol srsly. Great career development.
     
  12. Nerve

    Nerve Record Collector

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    Driving to the hairdresser while listening to The Strokes =

    asking for a independant rockstar haircut =

    ... obtain it
     
  13. vikk

    vikk Member

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    pics or didn't happened
     
  14. Nerve

    Nerve Record Collector

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    Warning : MySpace pic featured

    [​IMG]
     
  15. snowy

    snowy The Empire Strikes Back

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    So, you want your photo to be discussed?:loco:
     
  16. vikk

    vikk Member

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    i wanna have more babies with you
     
  17. Nerve

    Nerve Record Collector

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    I don't play violin, does that count ?
     
  18. Lussi

    Lussi Member

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    Bleu...Blanc...! Rouge !!
  19. Undefined

    Undefined Indefinite Entity

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    I'll never get over the Tony Kakko resemblence.
     
  20. Nerve

    Nerve Record Collector

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    I guess I should tour with Phoenix.
     

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