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Lyrics that make you laugh

Discussion in 'General Metal Discussion' started by FenriR, Mar 18, 2008.

  1. FenriR

    FenriR Member

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    Any lyrics that bring on teh lulz?

    Personally, I always chuckle at In Their Darkened Shrines II, at the brutally growled 'In this monkey treeeeeee'. Which is odd, because there are no such lyrics in the song. I figure I'm just mishearing 'You who are faithful to me', or 'They shall teach me'.

    Another is Virally Yours by the Black Dahlia Murder. 'I'm begging you take the ride to the cold and blue' makes me lol every time, again because of the ridiculous nature of the grim 'bllluuueeee'.
     
  2. The Ozzman

    The Ozzman Melted by feels

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    /thread
     
    #2 The Ozzman, Mar 18, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2015
  3. Koude Haat

    Koude Haat Member

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    ARYAN TERRORISM
    crush the Lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the fucking lies

    The time has come terminate the unnecessary branches.
    Betrayers must die.
    Jewish bloodsuckers try to kill our BLACK METAL FIGHT
    by selling it like a theatre.
    Today they receive our weapons,
    the clowns which surround us.

    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the fucking lies

    Dimmu Borgir are fucking clowns, gays, venal bitches.
    They all sell their asses for a gram of heroin.
    Explode the bomb on their gig?

    Clowns of cradle of shit are perverts
    trading in their defects,
    singing with castrated voices of their teenager’s problems.
    This is a pornographic clownade burn them fucking alive?

    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the fucking lies

    The mother fucking Kovenant is beyond any hatred.
    That homosexual bastard Nagash,
    We should cut through his ass with a chainsaw.

    what a painted mug?
    these are the businessmen from Marduk.
    panzer division Marduk?
    Huh! Motherfuckers division Marduk!

    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the lies
    Crush the fucking lies

    Ihsahn – bald-headed freak from “mystic” Emperor.
    Where were all your mystics sold out?
    or has it been exchanged for Israel’s citizenship,
    were the money all you want?

    After them all goes Nergal from Behemoth with a big fucking penis-horn on his forehead,so…he may put it into his asshole, it’s right place…

    Death to posers! Continue to fight them! Crush the lies!
    Don’t let them fool you.
    ONLY TRUE BLACK METAL WAR!

    SIEG UND KRIEG!
    SIEG UND KRIEG!
    SIEG UND KRIEG!
    SIEG UND KRIEG!


    /THREAD
     
  4. cookiecutter

    cookiecutter Proceed to Ultraslamming

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    Ancient Necropsy - Putrid Aromatherapy

    Hello doctor can you help me? I Have derangements in my mind. Confusing my feelings and my beliefs. I can't stand this suffering please help me now or kill me now. Don't worry baby sure I can help you, please come in and lay down on my desk, now close your eyes and relax, enjoy the delicious putrid smells. First smell the old semen from my cock and drink it... Now smell my deep and dirty asshole for five minutes, sure... You will feel so good, later, smell my rotten rat pets for six minutes, meanwhile I will put my dick in your pussy ok???... Oh I'm sorry baby... This is part of the therapy. Ok girl now drink my semen to finish my session, and later drink this toilet water 3 times per day for 2 weeks, well... how are you feeling?
    Oh doctor I feel so good, I will recommend you to my friends.
    Sure baby. Take my business card, and come back every 8 days please.

    to be fair English is not his first language and all his other songs have better lyrics, but this one is just ridiculous
     
  5. Zephyrus

    Zephyrus Tyrants and Slaves

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    #5 Zephyrus, Mar 18, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2015
  6. Manic Ferocity

    Manic Ferocity Active Member

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    :lol: That's totally lame/awesome!
     
  7. Slayed Necros

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    Gehennah wins this thread, hands fucking down (although those Aryan Terrorism lyrics are classic).

    Also some of the shit by Vaginal Jesus is pretty funny, but I won't post that here.
     
  8. blood_drunk

    blood_drunk beer drinker & hellraiser

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    Everything by Manowar
     
  9. Manic Ferocity

    Manic Ferocity Active Member

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    Yeah, that goes without saying (not to mention Anal Cunt or anything else having to do with Seth Putnam).
     
  10. Einherjar86

    Einherjar86 Active Member

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    Most Sonata Arctica lyrics. I like the band (or used to), but some of their lyrics are horrible.

    "She should not lock the open door
    (Run away! Run away! Run away!)
    Full moon is on the sky and
    HEEEEE's not a MAAAAAAAN anymore!"

    and

    "Dana my darling, I'm writing to you,
    Your father passed away; it was a really rainy day" (Ha!)

    and

    Mother always said "My son!
    Do the noble thing.
    You have to finish what you started
    No matter what. Now! Sit and watch and learn.
    It's not how long you live,
    But what your morals say.
    Cannot keep your part of the deal so
    Don't say a word...
    Don't say a word!

    The last one's classic, because the melody in the chorus is so epic and huge, and yet the lyrics are nothing like what you'd expect. Horrible lyrics, Sonata; but still, a good band.
     
  11. A1a23

    A1a23 Member

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    This one has got to be the best!

    Autopsy - Shit eater

    Ass in the air, turd ring dialating
    Matted butt hair, anal vapor rising
    Give it a squeeze, my feast is emerging
    Give it to me, let's begin the purging

    I open my mouth and catch it as it drops
    I chew and chew and love it brown and soft
    I squish the crap between my teeth with my tongue
    With a shit eating grin I'll lick 'til clean your bung

    [E.C.]
    [D.C.]

    I'm a shit eater

    Steaming chunky hunk of log
    Taste it smell it eat it all
    Maybe one turd maybe two
    Whatever I can get from you
     
  12. Belligerent

    Belligerent Greekus Urungus

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    213 by Slayer. I love the song but Araya is trying so hard to be evil. I chuckle when I hear the ending for some reason.
     
  13. Gold

    Gold 666

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    WE ARE THE FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
     
  14. mutantllama

    mutantllama Awesome custom title

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    But they speak the truth!
     
  15. Matt

    Matt Active Member

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    Sarcofago

    "if you are a false do not entry, or you be burned and died"
     
  16. omnipotence

    omnipotence Ingenuity Seeker

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    "Beat... Rodney.... down.... down to the gound!!!"
     
  17. Slayed Necros

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    "They should have run him over, they should have used mace, they should have got a gun and shot him in the face"

    :lol:
     
  18. sevag00

    sevag00 Order to Chaos

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    That lyrics are totally nonsense, and stupid. The band members need a cock in their asses, not Nergal.
     
  19. Jreg

    Jreg Totally rad.

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    I'm not big on Sonata Arctica, but this was one of the songs by them I liked a lot until I paid attention to the words.
     
  20. Vossyrus

    Vossyrus Member

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    Though this is my fav band, Theatres des Vampires' former lead singer could definitely write a few bad lines due to his relatively poor english:

    "Oh sweet goat.. here I am, come and lick
    my white neck.. let me pull, your soft wool
    Let me kiss, your soft face!!!!"


    "I can all woman flood me with your vaginal blood"

    "Open your legs so that trees with out branches can enter in the
    forest!"
    :zombie:

    :lol:
     

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