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Metal Archives - Still Life

Discussion in 'Non-Opeth Music Chat' started by landmine, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. landmine

    landmine New Metal Member

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    "Dear lord, when will it end? - 6%
    Written by UltraBoris on March 11th, 2003


    Well, this is Yet Another Blopeth Album. What the world sees in this band is completely beyond me: their song constructions are incoherent, their guitar work forgettable, their vocals either misplaced death growls or horrible whining. There is no emotion to be found here - no stirring odes to battle, no banging one's head as if up from the dead, no connection to be made with the listener. It's just... there. It is perfect background music - harmless and unaffecting.

    So we start with "The Moor", which does just about absolutely nothing for about 1 minute and 45 seconds, before finally launching into some (relatively) heavy-as-a-motherfuck ... acoustic guitar! Actually, this isn't all that bad, and this would have served as a great intro, especially into the electric part that starts around 2.30. Holy crap, this is, while being about twice as long as it should be, is a solid buildup - add another layer at around 2.40, and some solid riffs... this actually isn't bad. Then we get some death growls - so are we trying to be brutal or atmospheric here? The dichotomy is terrifying. Then, some decent riffage at around 4:15 in, but something seems missing - maybe it's a bit of destruction, or a bit of rockage value - somehow this band seems too mellow and out of it for its own good. Even when they are trying to be heavy-as-hell death metal, they sound like they have been knocked into a coma. Throw in a little break at the six minute mark, then more death-metal stuff, before going into a little interlude later in the song. Nothiing happens for about two minutes, until for no reason the heavy part comes back. What a schizophrenic little song! It's nearly 12 minutes long too - somewhere in there is a decent 4 minute intro piece. The vocal passages sound forced and weak, and the interludes are too silly.

    That right there sums up all there is to know about Opeth - too many dumb musical ideas. The riffage is just not powerful, sounding like bad Arch Enemy riffs, being played by a guitarist who has been shot in the ass by a tranquiliser dart. "Godhead's Lament" is more of the same stuff - including the obligatory clean vocals and acoustic guitar passage in the middle. Even when it is kinda heavy, the album is slow and plodding and boring. Black Sabbath, this is not. Also, the clean vocals seem to lack passion and delivery. The verse around 8:50 in is just so going-through-the-motions.

    Benighted is a total riff monster. Well, it's not, but I felt that I should delude myself slightly in order to maintain some semblance of sanity, as this passage is totally and completely boring. It's a little acoustic piece, and it provides no rousing sense of importance. No overwhelming emotional value like a "Waiting for a Savior" or "Man of Sorrows" - this one just wants to drug you into a coma.

    "Moonlapse Vertigo" brings back the electric guitar, but again it's the clean vocals that dominate, with a lot of random acoustic passages too. Typical Opeth. No real riffs to be found here, just some meandering soloing... oh yes, there's the death vocals later in the song too, but make no mistake, there is nothing "death metal" about this band. Even the metalness is questionable at times - somewhere I could've sworn that metal was not about boring acoustic passages.

    "Face of Melinda" starts off with a silly passage dominated by the drums - of course, the guitars are so powerful that they could be dominated by a feather, but that is irrelevant. This sounds like bad lounge music - something I'd expect to hear at the dentist's office, or in the elevator. About 4 minutes in, the song crashes into recognition, and finally shows some signs of life. However, not too many - it is still boring as fuck, unfortunately. There is no definition to the songs on the guitar-composition level. No solid heavy metal riffs, in other words.

    "Serenity Painted Death" blazes forward at breakneck speed... well, for these guys anyway. I hope they didn't break too many bones playing at over 110 beats per minute. Again, it's not the slowness that bothers me (see: Saint Vitus for slow music done right), but the lack of inspiring me to act in any way. It leaves me flat out bored. It is unclear what they are attempting to accomplish here - the passages lack atmosphere, the solos lack clarity, and the guitar work lacks memorableness. There is no catchy riff that I can point out - no Kreator "People of the Lie" immediate headbanging frenzy, or an Iron Maiden "Seventh Son" six minute solo that is remembered note for note when it ends. Nothing. Just misplaced death vocals. Only at the end does the song pick up finally - around the 7:40 mark. That part is a bit discernable, but when the random faceless acoustic passage kicks in, you know they're done with that idea.

    Finally, White Cluster. Death vocals in this one, over guitars that, again, lack any sort of force to them. The passage at around 0:41 is repeated several times, and none of those times does it appeal to me. Then that is lost, and the clean vocalist comes back to yell a few times - his voice is very horrible, very bleating. I just imagine a sheep being speared. The song nearly falls silent at around 5:10 - yes, kids, this is the modern heavy metal here. Useless acoustic passages ist krieg!!! The rest of the song does nothing of concern.

    And I have managed to suffer through yet another album. It's mildly better than Blackwater Park, but still quite terrible. So many BAD ideas thrown into this one - not a single memorable riff. All hail the new metal!"

    how much shit can one person come up with?:OMG:
     
  2. To rid you disease

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    someone was bored and decided to joke about I guess.
     
  3. biggsy

    biggsy New Metal Member

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    why does he assume they cant try to be brutal and atmospheric at the same time?
     
  4. Vamos

    Vamos Member

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    UltraBoris is known for his love for Opeth.
     
  5. Arasmas

    Arasmas New Metal Member

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    yawn he's like one of the mods on that horrible site, he loves to be ~controversial~, i haven't been to that site in years but iirc he gave master of puppets a 0/100, on the basis that it's not as good as megadeth or smth
     
  6. To rid you disease

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    why do they still let him be a mod then? or is he like the owner of the site or something?
     
  7. |55555|6

    |55555|6 New Metal Member

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    lolmetal-archives. A lot of people there rate albums on their definition of metal.
     
  8. Ɛnslaved

    Ɛnslaved Member

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    Metal Archives is a good site in terms of general information about bands and releases etc... but the reviews generally suck big time.
     
  9. Nasty-Fire

    Nasty-Fire Discursion

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    This is not even informative. It's a total subjective-only bullshit that has no credibility and considers "good" only "death metal" and classics. How can you blast Face of Melinda for not having "solid heavy metal riff", dude, Opeth is not PURE FUCKING DEATH METAL, it's called "progressive" for a reason. What a douche.
     
  10. Holocaust on the Moon

    Holocaust on the Moon Temples of Syrinx

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    Blopeth, lol. Every so often I read UltraBoris's reviews for a laugh.
     
  11. Don Corleone

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    it's obviously biased. move on
     
  12. Chinese Whispers

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    Metal Archives, as far as the reviews go, is a bit of a joke. I'd say 90% of the reviews up there are pretty much pap, written by the |<\/|_+er than thou clowns. Anyone read the rules need to prove that a band was 'metal enough' to be included in the sacred texts of HTML that bind the metallic universe as one? And you wonder why Arasmas attacked metal :Smug: I'll stick with the many other, and far better, websites out there.
     
  13. NicholasDWolfwood

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    boris' reviews are hilarious. mop was the death of metal apparently :erk:
     
  14. Chinese Whispers

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    :loco: :lol: :loco: :lol: :loco: :lol:

    I'm sure that MA are the defenders of trve metal or something as equally lame.
     
  15. Chinese Whispers

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    This is my favourite part. Or the reviewer questioning the 'metallness' :lol: :lol: :lol: Because something lacking 'metalness' has got to suck, natch.

    Don't MA say you shouldn't write a song-by-song review as well? Well, I guess it is a way to make a review longer (read: EPIC, and we all know that metal should be EPIC and not 'Blopeth' because, they, y'know, lack anything 'metalness' like, dood!). Also long reviews with lots of words pulled from a thesaurus is a good way to show how intellectual you obviously is.

    Also, saying that there are 'death metal' vocals and then directly after saying there is nothing 'death metal about this band' is a bit ironic. Still a good effort to wind up all the pussy Blopeth fans, so partial credit. 35/100.
     
  16. dwoakee

    dwoakee Suboptimization Expert

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    that one made me lol, along with the other one about "stirring odes to battle". I mean, I understand what he means. If pummeling riffage, heavy-as-hell guitars, screams, growls, the whole "harder, faster, louder" core of heavy metal are what you are looking for then Opeth isn't for you. Listen to Nile on repeat with the volume knob on "major earthquake caused by asteroid collision", or Six Feet Under or what not.
     
  17. Godhead59

    Godhead59 Dim Sam

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    I don't think you should take too seriously whatever comes from someone who rated Master of Puppets 0/100 (and dubbing it the death of heavy metal) with his main excuse being the band not using Mustaine material.
     
  18. Guitar-Non-Player

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    You're all wrong. :heh:

    It' not about what one person dislikes, but what they like.

    metal-archives - as it was said before - is a great source of info about the discography/history of a particular band.
    the reviews are made by people who don't get paid to write them down - anyone can contribute and submit their opinion.
    If one review seems incredibly dumb to you just check what other reviews have been submitted by this person and to what bands he has given a high score.

    ...

    This particular person reviewed several MANOWAR albums with good to average ratings, which is enough for me to :lol:

    don't take it too seriously
     
  19. dwoakee

    dwoakee Suboptimization Expert

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    Have you got anything against MANOWAR?

    DEATH TO FALSE METUUUHL!

    :Smug:
     
  20. Chinese Whispers

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    LEAVE THE HALL!
     

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