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Mothers...

Discussion in 'Dark Tranquillity' started by Caelestia, Apr 29, 2004.

  1. Caelestia

    Caelestia rawr

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    I apologize in advance if this thread is considered spam and should offend anyone (that was not an invitation to flame me :p). Mother's Day is coming up, and I need to write an ad for it. I'm thinking of different analogies for mothers.

    For example:
    Mothers are like nightmares. They make you sit up and realise how lucky you are.
    Mothers are like omelettes. They help you start your day with caring and smell good. The real beauty is what’s inside.
    Mothers are like toilets. They provide relief, a place to go in time of need and flush away all the bad stuff.


    If anyone feels like contributing or talking about their mothers, this would be the thread for it. It's better if the analogies have a slight twist without being too farfetched, disgusting or cold. Don't be shy now, even if you've come up with something such as "Mothers are like cucumbers. Because they're like, so cool!"

    Thanks :D
     
  2. KoichCPA

    KoichCPA Banned

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    Mothers are like Nazi's, always putting things in the oven.
     
  3. Caelestia

    Caelestia rawr

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    :lol:

    You silly silly man...
     
  4. Lina

    Lina kickass elizabethan style

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    I can't wait for rahvin's contribution to this thread. :lol:
     
  5. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    mothers are like the rolling stones, they were done giving the best of themselves at least 25 years ago

    koich's was hilarious. :lol:

    @lina: you give me too much credit as usual...
     
  6. Caelestia

    Caelestia rawr

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    well, shite, i guess everyone else was brought by the stork ;p
     
  7. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    i wish i was. unfortunately, i spent about nine months and a half in a stupid woman's womb, until the doctors informed her that i was trying to suffocate myself with the umbilical cord, and if she wanted to wait (...) or for them to operate and take me out even though i had no intention of doing so myself. apparently, my mommy dearest replied on the lines of "oh please just take this thing out of me, i can't take it anymore" and so i came to this world, on the 12th of may of almost 27 years ago. what an endearing story.
     
  8. Caelestia

    Caelestia rawr

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    that's the most touching introduction to a life i've ever read :'(

    why is she a stupid woman though? :err:
     
  9. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    trust me, she is. the list of reasons would hijack this thread and take it for a round trip to pluto. ;)
     
  10. Caelestia

    Caelestia rawr

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    awwwww. she can't be stupid if she had you. must be her wisest decision then ;)
     
  11. Rusty

    Rusty A-HAHAHA!

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    Hah, I was two weeks late as well. However the problem parent at my birth was my father, who decided to faint.
     
  12. KoichCPA

    KoichCPA Banned

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    My massive baby head got stuck in my mothers vagina and they had cut me out through her tummy and drag my feet through all sorts of body organs.
     
  13. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    if only rotten.com had already been invented, you could have been a rich man.
     
  14. metal17

    metal17 Member

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    haha...good one
     
  15. KoichCPA

    KoichCPA Banned

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    Mothers are like 2 minute noodles, always there when you have no money.
    Mothers are like Mr T. Helpful to have around, but don't piss them off.
    Mothers are like Barney the dinosaur, They like having kids around, but no one suspects a thing.
     
  16. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    :lol:
    honorary advertiser of the year! there's no competition, really.
     
  17. Caelestia

    Caelestia rawr

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    Josh, have you tried stand up comedy?
     
  18. KoichCPA

    KoichCPA Banned

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    No, I limit my on stage activities to bad karaoke versions of Total Eclipse of the Heart.
     
  19. hyena

    hyena counterclockwise

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    there was a hilarious calvin and hobbes line saying

    mothers are the necessity of all inventions

    but i'm afraid it's copyrighted.
     
  20. Skald

    Skald Member

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    Mothers are like Microsoft - their desperate yearning to transfer their vision of life to you can be compared only to its uselessness
     

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