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Post a random fact about yourself

Discussion in 'Dark Tranquillity' started by Human Desert, Jun 6, 2004.

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  1. RampageSword

    RampageSword AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!

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    Fact : I'm taking a break of my original avatar. Might come back sometime but right now, it's a cow and a dolphin. :cool:
     
  2. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    seriously, you should stop feeling anything at all. it's not even worth it.

    edit: i don't mean feeling anything about the song. just having emotions.
     
  3. Magrathean

    Magrathean worldbuilder

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    Rahvin: What are you implying, dammit?
     
  4. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    i'll bullet-point it for you, because i'm that kind of person.

    • helloween's in the middle of a heartbeat is a cheesy ballad for the broken-hearted, whose sappy lyrics and emotional music are like a short documentary about seals dying of pneumonia
    • you've heard it 17 times. not in your whole life, which would be bad enough and make you a competitor for the "people who shapeshift into a perfect teddy bear" award, but in the past three days, which is probably illegal in some countries
    • ergo you're either trying to single-handedly control the world market when it comes to the production of sugar, or the fluffy red thing to the center-right of your chest has taken over the control room, out of melancholy, sadness, regret, desperate hope, and a number of other things i cannot possibly know, except for the fact that at some point they contain the words light and eyes. there's also a pronoun somewhere between the two, or my name is not hard to pronounce by an english speaker anymore
    • ergo i was trying to offer a solution, which also happens to be the only possible solution to the case in point, no matter how many times anybody will tell you otherwise. don't listen to them, listen to me. they are the rounded child-proof edges of clumsy plastic scissors while i'm the sharp, almost-invisible piece of steel wire that causes all those freaky accidents in the meat-processing industry. also, they stink
    • and the solution is: go to the grocery store. buy some pineapples and get a grocery bag for each. drive home, empty the bags, go to your room. lock yourself in. sit on the bed and meticulously list all of your emotions. put them in the bags. (i made you get plenty 'cause you've been a mess of feelings since you got here, so i suspect you must have hundreds of the buggers.) put heavy stones from your yard in the bags too, if you have a yard. if you don't, commit trespass and get the stones from a nearby house. then put the feeling of guilt for committing trespass in a bag, as well. seal the bags with tape. drive to the nearest bridge. actually, make it one a little farther away, you don't want the emotions to be traced back to you when they find them. toss the bags off the bridge. drive back home. never, ever listen to in the middle of a heartbeat again
    • in case you're wondering, the pineapples are for me
     
  5. Magrathean

    Magrathean worldbuilder

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    Oh, how very kind of you. *hearts you*

    I actually see it as a semi-cheesy ballad for romantics who look forward to a better future than the present they live in, romantically speaking.

    Rahvin, i think you've already won that award... every single year.

    That seems like an awful lot of work just to get rid of feelings. An easier solution would be to allow enough pain in my life to make me want to become numb and thus not allow myself to feel anymore. Also, why would i want to get rid of (some of) my feelings? You're right in that they've been a mess in the last few months, but i like the ones that currently inhabit my "fluffy red thing" (by the way, it's in the middle-left of my chest, in case you were talking about the fluffy red thing i think you were talking about).

    I wasn't wondering. I think i'm smart enough to figure that out all by myself. No wonder you'd have me steal stones from my neighbor's yard but not plastic bags from the supermarket. :lol:
     
  6. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    romantics always look forward to a future that's better than the present they live in. that's the kind of kick they get from a not-so-good present, on account of being romantics, while other people only get a vicious kick in the groin, on account of having less free time. also, romantics are always speaking romantically, because it's so very romantic not to know when to stop.

    i just can't wrap my head around the semi part of your definition. let's go over this together for a second (yes, i actually went and picked the record up from the shelf. hope i'm being romantic enough for you.)

    tell me, pretty girl, do you know who i am?

    [i sure hope she does, by the way. although i suppose there are a few advantages in not telling a girl that you're a singer in a power metal band]

    have you ever seen me as your friend?
    anything we have is those hungry nights
    but there's so much left unsatisfied

    [oh, cry me a river, romantic in search of a better future! i'm sure you really hate the steamy nights of ceaseless sex, because, you know, sitting and talking about how cute we feel is more your thing. how is this not cheesy? i can see him sitting in a field, a daisy in his hands, watching the sunset and wanting to whisper sweet nothings to a nearby cow.]

    all those little things you told me
    ain't good enough to show me
    that we're gonna make it through the time

    [assuming he's not referring to going to jail, again i have to call extreme cheese on this stuff. maybe if she could just caress his head oh so gently every night until the apocalypse - which, according to a student in training in my library, is blissfully near - then he'd know she really loves him. also, we're probably still talking about the cow anyway.]

    i found out
    in the middle of a heartbeat
    and i know that i'm doing right
    together we're still so far apart
    i found out
    in the middle of a heartbeat
    and the more i try to be your light
    i can't get any closer to your heart

    [honestly, it hardly ever gets cheesier than claiming you suddenly realized your girlfriend is resisting your attempts to become her light. what is that even supposed to mean? she's inviting lit torches to the movies instead of you?]

    now that i'm afraid just to ask for more

    [sure. you're only writing a song about it. way to be subtle and shy.]

    i'm still waiting as i did before
    if you only said that it's not too late
    we could then rely upon our fate

    [my favorite parts in bad love songs are when someone promises he/she will be there forever. aside from feeling horribly embarrassed once the madness has left their minds, they don't seem to understand that this kind of strategy only works in movies, where forever means before the credits start rolling.]




    hey... now, that was kind of... personal. *quickly turns human*


    the effort is part of the therapy.


    there's never gonna be enough pain in your life to make you want to become numb. you're going to justify it, explain it away, call it temporary, or dismiss it as a legitimate price to pay. then you're probably even going to grow fond of it, thinking it makes you more human, or more like a bear, if you're lucky.


    if the fact that you're listening to in the middle of a heartbeat without - i imagine - howling ceaselessly and carving out your eyes with a dirty spoon is not enough, then i'd say you should want to get rid of your feelings because they might be catching.

    damn, we are too late. but don't give up, we'll try with a few thousand volts directly to the chest and you might still make it.


    i was, and i was assuming it was in the wrong place. oh, the shame of not being able to use a metaphor that dt managed to handle so smoothly!
     
  7. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    @undo: besides - and i want to make a separate post for this to somehow distance myself from the above user who admitted to owning cheesy power metal records - there are some love songs in this world which is not as terrible a crime to be listening to repeatedly, if you so fancy and if you think you're not ready to get rid of the poison running in your veins yet. i can send you some titles, but my reputation would be permanently tarnished if i did so on the board. you can email me (address is my forum name @ the band's official site's domain) whenever you crave the soothing graces of some song touching the soft, pink things that live inside your head. here i'm just going to mention mesh's the trouble we're in. but if you post the lyrics i'll look like a sweet, cute dreamer with puppy-dog eyes, so don't do it or i'll come to your town and murder everyone you love, although it's definitely starting to sound like a fucking huge job.
     
  8. Magrathean

    Magrathean worldbuilder

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    I really didn't expect this kind of talk from you. You must be in an irritable mood or something, or else you can't stand the thought of someone listening to a song you obviously dislike.

    Okay, so what if i like to listen to cheesy songs now and then? Be glad that i'm listening to that instead of Stone Sour's Bother (since you seem to be in the mood for reading and over-analyzing song lyrics, why don't you read the lyrics to that song and realize it's a pretty depressng (and, yes, "cheesy" by your definition) song?).

    Sorry to pop your bubble here, but more than once i've wished i was completely numb.

    Dammit, Rahvin, you caught me again. I guess i'll have to close the window when i howl so nobody can hear me.

    I did wash the spoon, though.

    Oh, well, if we're going to start using DT metaphors about fluffy red things then i've always said that mine is "a heart that beats the wrong way", but, you know, i actually like it that way.
     
  9. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    the second option would lead to a constant state of mental breakdown, i'm afraid. and the first is also not true, but that's just a coincidence (well, the lack of one, in fact).

    i'm not sure i understand what it is you found offensive in my comment. so you really missed the fact that i was trying to cheer you up / distract you / offer a different angle to your view? and this because i skipped a few appeasing emoticons? come on.


    so nothing, of course. i'm not, at present, boarding a plane to mexico in the hope to unplug your stereo before it's too late. i thought if you could laugh at those lyrics you'd feel less (.) upset about whatever it is you're upset about. once a regular comes up with an obsession for that stone sour song, and i decide i care enough to comment, and i have forgot all about the result i have achieved today, i'll analyze that one. but not now.


    but you didn't go to the grocery store. or you didn't buy pineapples. the pineapples are essential to the plan.


    i know, i remember reading that. it prompted my less-exciting version, in fact.
     
  10. Magrathean

    Magrathean worldbuilder

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    Not offensive. But i did miss that fact. Thanks for pointing it out, you sick, sick person. ;)

    *puts rocket launcher away* Oh, okay then. No hard feelings. :)

    I fail to see the meaning of that oh-so-enigmatic (.) you put there, but 1) i'm not upset, 2) thanks for the good intentions and 3) i look forward to reading your analysis of that song.

    Tell you what: if all goes well and my plan (not the one to take over UM; another one i'm cooking up) works, in summer i'll be close enough to Italy to be able to drop by and bring you a truckload of pineapples. Deal?
     
  11. rahvin

    rahvin keeper of the flame

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    my hopeless crusade to annihilate emotions in the known universe has encountered a setback, but i still work endlessly and taking advantage of every possible opportunity. in a way, i'm like the villain in rainbow brite (don't ask).


    if i had been holding a bouquet for the duration of this exchange of posts, i'd now be throwing it in the air above me with glee. but since i lacked the foresight, i'm just randomly casting my arms in random directions. ;)
     
  12. Magrathean

    Magrathean worldbuilder

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    I'd be really scared if you had said you were like the main character in that series.
     
  13. scaleo

    scaleo 瑞典人

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    a random fact... hmmm, I have an avatar now! ;)
     
  14. scaleo

    scaleo 瑞典人

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    Oh, and I have some kind of status under my name now saying: 瑞典人 :p
     
  15. Magrathean

    Magrathean worldbuilder

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    And in english? ;)
     
  16. scaleo

    scaleo 瑞典人

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    Hehe, it's pronounced Ruidian Ren - which means, "Swedish person" or "Swede" ;)
     
  17. incendo

    incendo Member

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    Fact : I need someone, who might join my team in "gomoku" thread. all forum members; attention please !!
     
  18. Siren

    Siren Active Member

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    Fact: i love the swedish language, it sounds so gay.
     
  19. Magrathean

    Magrathean worldbuilder

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    Fact: I need a plane ticket to Croatia... fast.
     
  20. Siren

    Siren Active Member

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    *gives you one*


    hope you don't mind it's already been used.
     
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