This site is supported by the advertisements on it, please disable your AdBlocker so we can continue to provide you with the quality content you expect.

Welcome to Our Community

Wanting to join the rest of our members? Feel free to sign up today.

Sex and Opeth

Discussion in 'Opeth (Archived)' started by foxdvd, Jan 31, 2004.

  1. foxdvd

    foxdvd Coolest Opeth Fan

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2001
    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    USA
    You know the old saying "You have jacked off so many times in the shower you get a hard-on when it rains"????

    Well I have made love to Opeth so many times, I find myself...well..uh...how should I say this...getting a little "excited" (did I just quote myself? Someone shoot me now!) when I listen to Opeth.

    This can really be a problem folks. When driving by myself, I can no longer listen to Opeth in the car, or I might find myself a bit on the tight-side of the force.

    Is there anything I can do? I have tried the rubber-band trick that many use to quit smoking, but find my swollen penis, though actually larger then before, to be ugly as hell and sore (my wife on the other hand seems to be encouraging this rubber band thing, to the point where I am getting a bit suspicious of her real motive)


    HELP ME OPETH FORUM, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!
     
  2. Testamentt

    Testamentt Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2003
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Cut it off.

    This is an Opeth forum.
     
  3. synergy

    synergy tr00bie

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    1,021
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    Long Island
    Try deleting this thread as soon as possible to start with. If problem persists try blasting opeth on headphones while watching rap videos...just a random idea.
     
  4. WhiteBeastofWotan

    WhiteBeastofWotan Apostitutes!

    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Messages:
    31,057
    Likes Received:
    123
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Philly
    thats messed up man....
     
  5. Darkness_Claimed_my_Flesh...

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Sydney
    hahahahh thats funny shit, tryin listening to bloodbath while ur rooting or sumthing next time... i dont know... cannibal corpse maybe....????????
    strange thread
     
  6. Martyr

    Martyr Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2002
    Messages:
    194
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Canada
    You are fucked, so fucking fucked
     
  7. AbsentFriend

    AbsentFriend Hail to the King

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2003
    Messages:
    940
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Tha Nethalandz!
    I first thought this guy was actually gggggggggguu.....
     
  8. Darkness_Claimed_my_Flesh...

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2003
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    Sydney
    get some humour guys, hes just fuckin around!!
     
  9. estimate

    estimate Code

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    Bergen, Norway
    Look at him, he's an attention whore!
     
  10. foxdvd

    foxdvd Coolest Opeth Fan

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2001
    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    USA
    :loco:

    still does not solve my problem..
     
  11. JoeVice

    JoeVice Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2003
    Messages:
    2,169
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    Murdock, NE
    lol, i have the same problem with cryptopsy....that is a real problem though, they play at break-neck (purple-cock) speeds
     
  12. necromancor1

    necromancor1 New Metal Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2004
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Location:
    near munich, germany
  13. Angelus

    Angelus Purely Evil

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2003
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Hahahahaha I think this thread is hilarious!

    But of course there's people whining as always... fucking immature people...
     
  14. smylex

    smylex New Metal Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2002
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    As long as you're not "excited" in public in California, you should be okay. Did you know it's considered a crime in California to have a visible erection? Even while wearing pants! :ill:

    Fucking Puritans...
     
  15. foxdvd

    foxdvd Coolest Opeth Fan

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2001
    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    USA
    how do they gage a visible erection? I mean, it could be just a bulge, or you could just have a really big penis while limp right? So does the cop reach down and feel the hardness level? What if you are 75 percent erect? Does it need to be a 100 percent vein-induced bone?


    anyway to keep this topic on track, in all seriousness, who here has made love to Opeth?
     
  16. foxdvd

    foxdvd Coolest Opeth Fan

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2001
    Messages:
    332
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    USA
    And to be sure you know what I am talking about, I am talking about Opeth MUSIC, not some orgy with the whole band...
     
  17. Maq

    Maq Premium Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2003
    Messages:
    165
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Poland
    At least the thread is original, I like it;)

    p.s I'm shocked that ggggggu haven't replied yet:D
     
  18. Scourge of Amalek

    Scourge of Amalek Metal Ethnomusicologist

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Location:
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    I've made love whilst listening to Opeth. It's nothing special... Just like any other progressive music, it gives me an excuse to not have any rhythm in bed.

    "I fuck in odd time signatures."
     
  19. Apocalyptic

    Apocalyptic New Metal Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    first door on left
    One time i was listening to Opeth and there was this 12 year old girl sitting across the street, and me being the silly dude i am, i walked over there and sarcastically asked if she would like to fuck hard. she said "no", but me being the silly dude i am i grabbed her by her hair and dragged her to my bed and fucked her while listening to Serentity Painted Death. It was really fucking sick and disturbing. I threw up all over her. Then she told me she wasnt 12, but she was 13, but she was born on a leap year so she was actually in her late 40's/early 50's, and then i puked all over her again and fucked her harder while listening to Black Rose Immortal. She then told me she was never born in the first place and i was fucking an image of myself as a 12/late 40's/early 50's girl the whole time. It was really fucking sick and disturbing. but after all; i am the silly dude i am.

    That was my new poem i wrote. sorry if i offended anyone born on a leap year.
     
  20. ViCyniC

    ViCyniC Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    912
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    New Jersey, USA
    WTF @ this thread. And Apocalyptic, stay off the drugs, k?
     

Share This Page