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Shit your pants stories

Discussion in 'Nevermore' started by WhiteBeastofWotan, Sep 24, 2013.

  1. WhiteBeastofWotan

    WhiteBeastofWotan Apostitutes!

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    So I'm 25 and just shit my pants for the first time. Not only that, but I started shitting my pants right when I got home and ran to the bathroom, thought it was a good idea to pull my pants down to get the rest into the toilet but just ended up shitting all over the place.

    Spent more than an hour cleaning up.

    Tell me your shitty stories!

    edit: Another note, I've never seen my poop outside of a toilet before, I never noticed how chunky it was. It looked like a brown curry lamb dish I might get from an Indian restaurant.
     
  2. Shpongled

    Shpongled Member

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    I did it at a card party in a log cabin in the woods once when I was probably 19. Tried to push out a fart and it felt like much more than that, so I excused myself to the outhouse and confirmed the inevitable. Had to slink back in and change my drawers right on the other side of the wall from where the rest of my friends were.

    Luckily that is my only personal story about this subject.
     
  3. Krigloch the Furious

    Krigloch the Furious Pants full of poo

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    playing hockey. Blocked a shot, took the puck, pushed off too hard with a skate, shit all over, and was on a breakaway....missed the shot
     
  4. Shpongled

    Shpongled Member

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    #4 Shpongled, Sep 25, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2015
  5. Dead Winter

    Dead Winter Not faggoty deathcore

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    Was driving to a class one day after lunch, and I had just eaten some salame and bread for lunch with an espresso afterwards. Tried to squeeze out a fart while driving and talking on the phone with the secretary who was giving me the details on the class, and I literally shit my pants while on the phone with her. Told her something had just happened and that I wouldn't be able to make the class, and that I had to go straight home. It was a 45 minute drive to my house with shit in my pants.

    I was not happy.

    That's my only one, at least as far as I can remember. A word to the wise: if you have an espresso right after a meaty lunch, make sure to take a dump before if you're not gonna be near a bathroom for an hour or so. They call it the three Cs here: caffe', ciga (cigarettes), e cacca. The first two will expedite the latter, so be prepared.
     
  6. ~Lynn~

    ~Lynn~ Bah...

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  7. Dead_Lioness

    Dead_Lioness Godless

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  8. craptastic

    craptastic Member

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    I didn't poop them, but I came damnnnn close.

    I was 19, my girlfriend was 18 and graduating the upcoming spring.

    I had the day off from work because I had jury duty. Girlfriend wanted a ride to school since I was going to be out near her house anyway. I obliged, but was a little rushed leaving the house. I had a few poo-pains but still wanted to get laid that night and figured making her late for class would ruin my chances.

    The entire ride to her house I'm playing peek-a-boo with my asshole. I figure I'll have roughly 7 more minutes of poo-pains before I can relieve myself in a more private setting. If I hurried, I could stop at my work before jury duty and take an orgasmic dump.

    I get to her house and she's butt naked in the bathroom. I told her I need to shit extremely bad but she's cranky about being late and still needs to put on make-up and I can't waste any of her time. (shes a cunt)

    I went and sat down on a wooden chair and smashed my asshole down to keep the poop inside. 10 agonizing minutes go by, I'm sweating, afraid to breath too heavy. During this time her mom, brother & dad come home from a breakfast outing and arguments over who is shitting first began. Not about to join the fight, I keep my mouth shut and keep sweating.

    Finally she's ready to go, we hop in my truck and slip and slide up the icy driveway. Now she's pissed because I'm in a hurry and I'm uncomfortable. I drive like a maniac on icy/snowy roads and dump her at school. Pull an immediate u-turn and start to speed my way home. I decided that with all the suffering I just put myself through, I deserve to take a shit at home.

    Go figure I hit every traffic light. My asshole hurts so bad from holding this shit in, I'm sweating, my heart is racing and my balls are tingling, I can barely focus on anything. Every traffic light is taking so long...I look both ways and just blow the red light. Hit another light, this time I didn't even stop, intersection full of cars..I look both ways and just weave my way through with everyone beeping at me.

    At this point I'm in so much pain I've unbuttoned my pants hoping less pressure on my pelvic area would feel good, but instead the extra gut room makes me have to shit even MORE. I'm in traffic trying to button my pants while driving a 5 speed Ford Ranger.

    I eventually get to the last intersection before the 4 mile straight stretch of road before my house. By now I'm in full panic mode debating if I should just SHIT my pants and deal with cleaning up a mess, versus being in this pain. My ass knows I'm only a matter of minutes away from home and really begins to fuck with me.

    I swear the poop is starting to come out and fly back up my ass. The light turns green and I peel out flying home.

    The last agonizing 4 miles took so long, I pull onto my street and the panic is at an all time high, I go to pull into my icy driveway and DAMMMIT, I cut the wheel, the truck doesn't turn and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF, up and over the snowbank, tear the bumper off my truck and I land about 15 feet into the yard, snow up to my doors. I can't get the fucking door open. So I roll down the crank window as fast as I can and Jeff Gordon my way out of the truck. I start to blast through the 4 feet of snow but I didn't tie my boots so I keep getting stuck and tangled up.

    I stepped out of my boots and ran towards the driveway, which was a total block of ice. I took one step on the driveway and BAM, fall on my ass. At this point I've stopped clinching and accepted that I'm going to shit my pants, but my legs being pinched together kept the poo in me.

    I start to waddle up the driveway the best I can, get to the front door and reach for my keys and realize I left the truck running in neutral in the yard. I started frantically banging on the door and ringing the door bell, my mom is hard of hearing and I've been locked out of the house for hours before, banging on windows and doors. So I start KNEEING the door making as much noise as I can to get my dogs barking. My mom comes to the door and I am running in place, pants unbuttoned, barefoot on the icy steps, I blasted through the door, dropped my pants and ran up the stairs, squeezing my balls, ripped open the bathroom door and started to shit before I could get to the toilet.

    I had to clean 2 huge logs up off the tile floor, but I did NOT shit my pants. Hooked chains up to my truck and used my dads to pull mine out of the front yard and...

    I made it to Jury Duty on time, only to be dismissed the moment I walked in because of a guilty plea.
     
  9. Shpongled

    Shpongled Member

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    Haha good read. Now we know where your username came from.
     
  10. Dead Winter

    Dead Winter Not faggoty deathcore

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    I've lain in ditches for hours while under attack just after eating a Beef Stroganoff MRE (if you know what I'm talking about then you know how serious that is...the MRE, of course), I've driven at breakneck speeds for 30 minutes straight to get home to the toilet only to be unable to walk the steps for fear of having it out right there, I've been forced to run into the woods countless times, but I never once during those close calls actually shat my pants.

    No, I was chatting on the phone while driving and not paying attention to rumblings in my stomach and sharted. Ironic.
     
  11. El Stormo

    El Stormo Member

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    Of course not. Everyone knows girls don't poop!
     
  12. Dead Winter

    Dead Winter Not faggoty deathcore

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  13. DreamNeonBlack

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    I bet Warrel has some awesome poopie pants stories.
    Come on WD, let loose...
     
  14. El Stormo

    El Stormo Member

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    I'm sure we can tell those stories in a mature fashion, like the reasonable adults that we are.

     
    #14 El Stormo, Sep 29, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2015
  15. Captain Beard

    Captain Beard No longer active

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    Does "nearly shit your pants" count? I've been sick a few days and my niece was here, and ran up behind me suddenly, startling me enough that I ripped ass that produced. I did however get to the toilet before it seeped into the shorts.
     
  16. Carabeu

    Carabeu ct_thrash

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    Haven't crapped my pants since I was 8 and very sick. I have, however, had experiences almost as urgent and painful (but far less catastrophic) as Craptastic's.
     
  17. El Stormo

    El Stormo Member

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    You haven't crapped your pants, Cara? You of all people? I expected more from such a poo-fan :(
     
  18. Carabeu

    Carabeu ct_thrash

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    What can I say...I respect the poo.
     
  19. Sentient 6

    Sentient 6 harmless parasite

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    Best shit your pants story EVER! I thought I was gonna die laughing!
     
    #19 Sentient 6, Oct 20, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2015
  20. El Stormo

    El Stormo Member

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