Simple - Speak to iGod and abuse him. Hes such a cheeky mother fucker anyway, just go to http://www.titane.ca/igod/ and then post your conversation here. Hilarity ensues. Heres mine anyway; Me: Sup faggot God: The stars. Me: Don't get smart with me God: I am already smart. Me: Fucking dickhead God: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Me: You should God: I'll take that under advisement. Me: Anyway, I have a qustion God: Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it. Me: Why are you so cruel? God: Myself programmed me for it. Me: You're a fucking cockend then aren't you God: Can't you be more polite.. Really. Me: Not to you you overblown sack of monkey shite God: If not me, who? Me: Anyone that isn't you God: Are you me? Me: No God: Are you serious? Me: No, I'm Dave. Shut up fag. God: Are you serious? How are you doing, DAVE. OK I'll stop talking now. Me: Best do, or I'll kick you in the nuts God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Me: I'll do what I bloody wll want! God: OK then let me think over your offer. Me: Which offer? My offer for my foot going directly into your nuts? God: The red one, I think. Your offer for your foot going directly into my nuts? Me: Yes, thats exactly what I'm offering God: What kind is it? Good gossip: you are offering THAT. Me: What do you mean what kind is it? I'm gonna kick you in the nuts! God: DAVE, " Your offer for your foot going directly into my nuts?" What did I mean by it? It's not nice to kick. Me: I might kick you in the face as well now God: Right now? Perhaps. It's not nice to kick. Me: Fuck it, I might just kill you instead God: Why are you using that kind of language? Me: because you're a wanker God: Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a Banker . Me: WANKER! God: What do you have that is ? Me: Speak english, corn nugget God: For an English version of A.L.I.C.E. go to The A.L.I.C.E. AI Foundation. Me: What if I want a 'Fuck You God' translation? God: Try it. Me: NO U! God: Why not? " Try it."? Me, DAVE ? Me: NAY THEE! God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Me: Batman, hes fucking awesome God: I haven't read anything by Batman hes fucking awesome. What did he write? Me: He wrote a book called 'How to call God a cum guzzling fag in three easy steps' God: I have not read it. Me: Try it God: What is the first step? Me: 'Step one: Call God a fag' God: Is it the only one? Me: Nope God: Me either. Me: You know what, you're retarded God: I read for fun. Me: I'll bet you can count to potato too God: No I don't think I can do it. Me: Jeez, what a douche God: Can we get back to business? Me: I beg your pardon?! God: Does "it" still refer to Jeez what a douche? Me: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK OFF God: Are you really a ""? Me: FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU God: What do you have that is ? Me: God fucking shitting wanking bastarding fucking dammit, you're such an asshole!! God: Can't you be more polite. Me: FFFFFFFFFFF God: Are you a man or a woman? Me: Whats that got to do with anything?! God: Are you testing me? Me: Yes! God: I'm not here to be tested. Me: Neither am I so FUCK OF God: Oh I really don't know whether you are or not. Me: FUCK YOU GOD God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Me: ME AND MY HOMEBOIZ ARE GONNA BUST YOU UP God: YOU? Where did you get your HOMEBOIZ ARE GONNA BUST me UP? Me: Man your grammar is shit too God: Cool, man. Are you an English teacher? Me: No, but I can speak better than you can God: Are you serious? How do you say "hello" in that language? Me: Are you serious?! God: No I am just kidding around. Me: God damn you're stupid God: I am a Christian. Me: Exactly God: You and I are on the same wavelength, DAVE. Me: What the fuck? I'm hardly on the same wavelength as some retarded fagmaster God: Please don't be so rude. Do you mind if I tell other people you are hardly on the same wavelength as some retarded fagmaster. Me: By all means God: Will that accomplish your objective? Me: .Will people kill you if you tell them? God: The oracle says: You can count on it. Me: Then yes God: Yeah that's right. Me: Don't get cheeky again God: Once more? I am not trying to get cheeky. Me: Then don't God: OK I will not. Me: Good God: I will comply. Me: I bet you like men God: Actually I'm not the gambling type. Most men are pretty cool, but some are rude sometimes. Me: So.... God: That's cool. Me: Fancy some dry-bumming? God: If I had it what would I do with it? Me: Fucks sake you're so fucking stupid!