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Discussion in 'Dark Tranquillity' started by rahvin, Apr 13, 2007.
I've got enough things to take care of, which would be impossible if I were too concerned about the way I feel and shit. Well, may be one day when I finally get everything I ever wanted I will sit around and spread nasal mucus over the keyboard, but I don't really see that happening (srpeading mucus part, I WILL get everything I want).
And I don't feel superior - we all have our ups and downs, I can't stop wondering why the same shit keeps poping up. And it's been for years, not that I just woke up pissed off.
Look in a fucking mirror, everything is fine, why do people create problems and cultivate them discussing - you don't solve the problem that way, might get that +/-1 to your ego, though, but that's about it.
I remember when I was feeling like shit and it seemed the world was coming to an end, I always turned it into fun in the end, because there was no other way to cope.
And I won. So far.
So shut the fuck up and deal with it. Post results here.
@afz: Typo for "sink".
@dark silence: Didn't mean to mock, it's in the nature of these things to often be paradoxical. Sure, when you're less alert you're also less self-conscious, and worrying too much over any issue can help fucking up. However, it's probably a given that a single person in her late twenties, who doesn't want to be single, will devote some time consciously or subconsciously thinking about finding a partner.
@plintus: Yep, life is too short and too meaningless for grand justified schemes and sad moments. So the only reason to live is to enjoy it, to do what you want, to achieve with which you'll have fun. All that stands in that way deserves a finger and a spinning back kick to the head.
I dislike any form of developped concept/philosophy/belief. They use big words like existence, perfection, afterlife, logic, thought and love to make the audience feel all fluffy and special. And then when things don't go as the believes indicate, the believers are hurt. I can be regarded as a hedonist with nihilistic tendencies. But then again, the whiners could be regarded hedonistic masochists, since they, consciously or unconsciously, take enjoyment in the emotional mishaps.
Bleh, too much thinking.
Spinning back kicks and counter kicks are great for solving issues, but not getting what you want.
Good luck on getting everything you ever wanted. Most likely you won't get there, but hey, get as much as possible.
Truly, fucking, nihilistic; I prefer realistic approach.
I iwll post pic of my Maserati later.
And this: nihilism seems to be philosophy of losers. No purpose - why should I try? What worse can be is hedonistic nihilism.
All that is cool only when you got somewhere in your life, before that you are just a loser.
I'm still not sure you're talking about this forum, though. There hasn't been a whole lot of whining lately, mostly just people saying "I've had a bad day" or "my love life sucks". But that's called unwinding. I'm no nihilist, yet sometimes I get home and think "woah, I'm so tired I could sleep forever, mayhap I should stop selling my body to beautiful women one day". There's some who post such thoughts on the board, you shouldn't make that big a deal of it.
It depends on the mentality of the person himself. Instead of "No purpose - why should I try" he could as well think "No purpose - meh, I'll make my own." Certainly the latter is going to get you somewhere, somewhere you'd like to be. As for the hedonism, it's always more enjoyable to not be the loser, so by instinct he would work to get that greater desire.
And I'm still that loser so far, kinda. But the three year's intensive illustration and design program for college should be fun.
@rahvin: I think the discussion has changed a bit.
And no one is really a nihilist, since that would be his own inexistence thus bring forth a paradox in context.
I beg to differ from this black-and-white approach. Might apply to you but it doesn't to me: rest assured that I do take care of a good number of things, including but not limited to a demanding day job, estate administration, extensive business travel, and a number of other things that can be qualified as both serious and quite down-to-earth.
When I work, I do concentrate on work; when trying to keep some family members out of trouble, I do concentrate on that. However, this does not stop me from thinking about other personal goals when, say, I have coffee in the morning, or while I'm working out in the gym.
Wanting to have a meaningful life, which for me at the moment implies finding someone to raise a family with (and there's 6's question answered, in the most obvious way ever), is not something I consider un-serious. It's as important to me as progressing in my job or getting good profits on financial assets. The reason why I do not "whine", as you put it, about these other two goals lies in the fact that I do reach them if I put my mind to it, while the relationship-and-future-family situation does not seem to be looking up. I am worried about that.
I do not hold anything against people who "just want to have fun", if I wanted to be carefree and spend all my evenings hopping from bar to bar I could do it, but it is not what I desire. This is not about self-pity: I know I do not live in an AIDS-ridden or war-torn country, I know I do not have a terminal disease (and believe me, I've seen that close enough to really know the difference between heartbreak and cancer), and I know I could have it worst. However, one of my life goals is very far from being attained, and it's not a goal which I consider superficial or transient, so yes, I think about that a lot, and I think I have every right and even duty to do so. If you don't accept the fact that at the tender age of 29 one could be serious about wanting a family- even if I'm by no means implying that everyone should, you set your goals as you want - it's not me being whiny, it's you being childish. It's not a bad day or a bad year, it is as serious as, say, losing a job.
This said, we're left with "Why post this on an internet forum?". As for me, I do like getting different perspectives from people who are kind enough to spare a few mintues to post their thoughts; it's useful because these perspectives may deviate from what I hear from my regular friends.
@hyena: If you want to have a family then maybe you should lower your standard a bit? Find someone who is able to live with you and try to deal with the issues as they come. It would be easier to find someone that's close to one's ideal image of a spouse than to find the perfect one. And maybe you should change a bit too, to help living together/being in a relationship easier for him as well.
That, and all I can say is good luck.
Woah, a family. I'd never get one of those. And rahvin, if you mean my usage of the word "soons", I am just mocking swedish people's english, see?
No, I wanted to say Taliesin meant "sink", not "think".
That's what I do in the gym (unwinding) or by getting away from computer for a couple of days (which is quite impossible in my field of work, but still), and not drinking myself into stupor like some people I know would do. Oh, and I sleep, too.
Self-pity would do wonders... once you get over it.
Not my business, couldn't help but mention anyway.
Good points (as always). And I don't mean solely you when talking about whining, but still, a woman of your... experience (not the right word, short on vocabulary about women) should know what she really wants and needs, and surely knows how to get it. Which leaves me wondering why you still have no clue.
A few things about me: I quit my job, I don't drink (normally), I don't have any kind of relationship (my morals are rather high for just picking up random ass in a bar... where I don't go anyway), and I chose career over family (based on previous relationships and all that whining about love life on this board ).
Anyway - good luck.
Question to anyone who knows anything about cars (Italian part of the board especially):
what's the deal with Maserati being as expensive as Ferrari?
@plintus: well, i suppose it depends on which specific car/series? i know it's a stupid answer, but maybe if you gave us pointers on the cars you're looking at i could see if, for example, you've stumbled upon a fuoriserie (specially produced - say, ferrari testarossas come in batches, some maseratis might be unique, hence the price)
Actually, I have to take that back, as Maserati mostly LESS expensive than Ferrari, but for $130K I'd go with Ferrari anyway (even older year and used).
i don't particularly like fast cars but a friend who's into them assures me that the best value for money deal you can get is on porsches.
rahvin: That makes sense.
Hm, never considered that... they are like expensive sports VW Bugs.
I'd go for something down to earth, newer Ford Mustang or Chrysler Crossfire: they got the looks I like and should be relatively easy and cheap to upkeep. But I can't have a car anyway - all my life is concentrated aroun 16 square blocks in Center City Philadelphia, for weekend occasions there is car rental service.
I disagree. The last battle was really cool, but the rest is dull, long, boring, stupidly complicated crap. Whoever wrote that script should be kicked in the nuts.