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The Opeth joke thread

Discussion in 'Opeth (Archived)' started by Profanity, May 19, 2005.

  1. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    Make up jokes about Opeth in this thread.

    I'll start:
    Why do evil women live so long?
    because they're Black Rose Immortal.
    :lol:
     
  2. Arnold Layne

    Arnold Layne Member

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  3. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    I don't understand.
     
  4. rissy

    rissy Member

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    bass player
     
  5. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    have you read a different set of thread instructions or something?
     
  6. Sanzen

    Sanzen Noonish Is My Robe

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    that's what I was going to ask about you and humor.
     
  7. spigot

    spigot Member

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    If white slutty chicks that like to bang black guys are a majority then i'm immigrating(or whatever you call it).
     
  8. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    What are Opeth most useful for?

    Operations
     
  9. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    A man cut his leg open in the middle of the night. He was losing blood rapidly and almost dying. He couldn't go to hospital until the morning. He tried to stop the blood coming out by tying his jumper round his leg but that didn't work, he tried stitching his leg together but failed. His friend said I have a solution so he pulled out his CD player and started playing Opeth - Morningrise. The morning suddenly appeared and the man got to the hospital and lived happily ever after.
     
  10. Kenneth R.

    Kenneth R. Cináed

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    these jokes all sucked... except for treys. and thats sad. :erk: :lol:
     
  11. Profanity

    Profanity The Post Master

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    Why didn't teys joke suck?

    because he was listening to Opeth at the time of making it.

    :lol:
     
  12. Jon Snow

    Jon Snow asoiaf afaict

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    What's the difference between a duck?


    One leg is both the same.
     
  13. deliverance

    deliverance ecnareviled

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    hahaha


    mike and the opeth guys are standing at the huge cathedral doors of a beautiful church in sweden, seeking entry. mikael's wish was to get melinda baptized. the priest who answered the door laughed in their opethian faces, and slammed the large door in their swedish and uruguayan faces, respectively. Peter demanded he open the door and said "what did we do to deserve this?"

    the priest opens the door back up, points to Lopez and says "you're swedish but look mexi", points to mendez and says "your name is bass, and you're hispanic", next at peter "i saw YOU sexing my 11 year old daughter the other day."

    uhhh, excuse me, stammered mr.akerfeldt. the priest met eyes with mr.a. "what about me..i wanted to baptize my daughter, is that okay?" the priest thought for a moment and then said "ooooh no, i've seen your dvd, you like making places into fucking hell...please get the fuck away from my house."

    end.
     
  14. deliverance

    deliverance ecnareviled

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    prostitutes are to sucking dick

    as:

    bass is to bass
     
  15. fuscous

    fuscous Member

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    you all suck so hard
     
  16. Don Corleone

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    this is kinda hard, you know. i appreciate the efforts so far.
     
  17. BrandonS

    BrandonS Member

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    Why did..... the... CD cover for MAYH.... lay an egg?
    Because it... didn't get enough calcium. AND ALSO BECAUSE IT IS EGGSELENT LOL.
     
  18. Mr Samsara

    Mr Samsara Misanthropic Moderator

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    I was going to delete this thread because it is so inflammatory, pointless, retarded, ignorant, offensive, abhorrent, abominable, appalling, awful, distasteful, dreadful, foul, hideous, horrendous, horrible, horrid, loathsome, nasty, nauseating, noisome, obnoxious, obscene, odious, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, scandalous, shocking, sickening, ugly, feebleminded, retarded, simpleminded; foolish, idiotic, imbecile, imbecilic, moronic; ignorant, illiterate, lowbrow, uneducated, uninformed, untaught, unthinking; absurd, asinine, balmy, cockeyed, crazy, cuckoo, daffy, daft, dotty, harebrained, insane, kooky, loony,lunatic, mad, nonsensical, nutty, preposterous, sappy, screwball, silly, unwise, wacky, zany; fallacious, illogical, invalid, irrational, unreasonable, etc... but then I would not have the opportunity to point this fact out in front of everyone.



    :yuk:


    So... yeah. this thread needs to die.

    Out.:devil:
     
  19. TehLeperAffinity

    TehLeperAffinity TehLeperAffinity

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    Why can't Bass Player have a cookout?

    Because the beans will fall through the grill. LOLOL
     
  20. Mr Samsara

    Mr Samsara Misanthropic Moderator

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    Of course. M-W.com :Smug:
     

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