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Toilet etiquette

Discussion in 'Transcending Mortality' started by FerretallicA, Oct 7, 2008.

?

What is the 'proper' way to piss?

Poll closed Nov 7, 2008.
  1. Straight into the water; to buggery with minimising noise

    44.4%
  2. Corner where water meets bowl; less obnoxious but still noticable to prevent accidental walk-ins

    11.1%
  3. Pure porcelaine; no direct stream-on-water contact to minimise noise

    33.3%
  4. Doesn't matter; I sit down to pee anyway

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Pissing in a bowl is for yuppies; I piss whenever and wherever I want

    11.1%
  1. FerretallicA

    FerretallicA HMAS Slagdestroyer

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    Sorry to exclude the ladies (all... two of you?) that lurk here but I have a question which only the blokes will be capable of answering with any real value.

    What is the 'right' way to piss in terms of etiquette (noise, splash etc) and, if you don't really adhere to what you recognise as 'best practice', how do you actually handle it?
     
  2. Stormster

    Stormster Somewhere Far Beyond

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    I usually do the bowl to minimise the noise, I don't like to be noticed i spose. Only problem with that is the spray that makes it way out of the bowl at times if the stream is of deadly strength. In that case it's into the water.
     
  3. Taliwakker

    Taliwakker .....

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    Straight into the water....my son's aim has been off recently and i've told him to just go for the middle...so i practice what i preach.
     
  4. whoneedstherapy

    whoneedstherapy Merchant of the low end

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    Loud and proud. Lets face it, everyone has a fair idea of why your in the toilet so there's no need to worry about a noise level... any of you that do i would suspect would also have to put the paper down first to prevent any splash noise from the other activity.

    Although there should be no groaning or moaning allowed.
     
  5. Watto

    Watto the need...for speed!

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    Yeah I went with option a I dont think anyone is really going to care if you piss loudly
     
  6. whoneedstherapy

    whoneedstherapy Merchant of the low end

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    While we're on the subject...

    After working in multiple offices i've realised that it doesn't matter if you work with 1000 people or work with only 5 of your best mates... one of them is going to be the dirty bastard that pisses all over the floor. I'm not talking about the odd splash or two but if you have to wade into the area it's just not cool.

    I've always thought it would make reasonable stand up material for someone to cover
     
  7. Stormster

    Stormster Somewhere Far Beyond

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    LOL - i always do that. Freaky that you know my toilet habits :puke:
     
  8. StephenSLR

    StephenSLR Member

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    If you look at a piss stream you will see a centre core of piss with droplets radiating outwards from it. They say your stream is designed to spread your piss over a wider area, this feature may have to do with the primal 'marking of territory'.

    ...and back by popular demand:

    Always put the lid down when you flush because whatever is in the bowl gets swished around and aerosols escape from the turd/piss mix and end up all over the walls, floor, toothbrushes, etc.

    Scientists found this out after examining people's toothbrushes and found faecal matter all over them.

    Also afterwards, wash your hands with soap for long enough to sing the birthday song.

    Scientists also found many toothpicks in restaurants and those free nuts in bowls at pubs had traces of faecal matter and piss all over them because people touched the other toothpicks and nuts when grabbing for them leaving behind the filthy remnants that was on their fingers.

    s
     
  9. whoneedstherapy

    whoneedstherapy Merchant of the low end

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    That sounds correct, however i've walked into office bathrooms with enough water to go for a swim with susy maroney in!:ill:
     
  10. FerretallicA

    FerretallicA HMAS Slagdestroyer

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    Surely communal soap and tap handles in a rest room are a popular hang-out for smaller defections from the primary movements?
     
  11. StephenSLR

    StephenSLR Member

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    They sure are but it's better to wash your hands with soap than not to. I see people come out of the toilet, dip their fingertips under running water and they probably go and eat a sandwich later with turdy fingers.

    s
     
  12. whoneedstherapy

    whoneedstherapy Merchant of the low end

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