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unloved(u)

Discussion in 'Katatonia' started by noctambulant, Mar 4, 2010.

  1. noctambulant

    noctambulant Member

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    If you love someone but they dont love you. What should you do? Try to find love with someone els. Or try to get this person to love you back?

    I feel so unloved and useless in this world, sometimes
    i cry because i woke uo in the morning wishing i would have stay asleep forever
    :cry:
     
  2. PIM

    PIM Member

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    You can't do anything. If they don't love you, what you are feeling for them is not "true" love. The worst thing you can do is try to force someone to love you. You have to just move on, as hard as that sounds.
     
  3. Nehebkau

    Nehebkau Member

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    What Mr Anthropy said.

    If you did make a move on the person, they might react in a different way like trying to avoid you or they might completely ignore what you did. It can turn out quite bad.

    *hugs* it's not all that bad. There are always other people.
     
  4. nymphx

    nymphx C old W ays.

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    Hm, in this case the following thing always helped for me.; just keep in mind that if you're not getting loved back by a man (in this matter), he's just not worth it and it means you and him are just not meant to be.. i mean, there are plenty fishes in the sea. And there's someone for everyone! so just don't give up the hopes... and stop searching.. it takes time and mostly you have to let it come to you instead of you got to search for it.

    trust me, i'm very unpatient.. and i felt alone for a long while.. but just try not to overthink it. it might get you get go crazy.
     
  5. Lisra

    Lisra starlight spectre

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    Well..

    The woman that fits to me perfectly, who is my counterpart in everything from interests to personality does not love me, in the sense of physical attraction et al, (and screw anyone who thinks the "soulmate" concept is stupid.. it isn't..), so..

    We had our chance together and we missed it (because I was a scared 17 yo) but we are still glued together and I draw huge comfort from that. Whatever future relationships we both might have and how they might turn out, we'll still have each other. That is a kind of love you cannot simply replace.

    And then you wait. You'll find someone else. Will take time, but you will.
     
  6. MadTinus

    MadTinus Language enthusiast

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    I'm a good example, I had never really had a long-term relationship until I got together with my current girlfriend (whom I had known as a friend for several years), I was 32 when we 'officially' got together a year ago. Even though I always wanted a girlfriend (I mean, who doesn't want someone to love and to be loved by..), I was never desperate about it. Unless you stay in your room all day, you're sure to meet someone at some point. Do not despair!
     
  7. Lisra

    Lisra starlight spectre

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    Well said.
     
  8. noctambulant

    noctambulant Member

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    thank y'all for the kind words I really appreciate them. I know I gotta start to realize about that sometime soon,but it seems so hard when you're on your own,when you don't have any friends left.
     
  9. Illinair

    Illinair New Metal Member

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    People have freewill. So, yeah. You can't force someone to love you. Besides, you don't need someone in life to move on(that's a whole other topic). By saying that, in this case; I mean "you" don't have to be in "love" in order to live your life. "The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved" - Victor Hugo. That is absolutely right. People need to know that they are cared and loved. In datings, it's the hormone "love" we call is what makes the two person want each other so badly, desperately at first times. In this case "love" blinds them. Not the universal one, the hormonal one. (I have to give the explanation since both of them are called love in English, it differs from language to language)... so; because it's a hormone, it starts to fade away when time passes. The main and consistent factors that helps and maintains the relationship are respect and true love. So if you're looking for someone to fall into love with, I can say that is unnecessary. Just start to know someone, start seeing each other, start talking and such... after a while you'll eventually decide if ther other person's way of thinking(the most important), interests, hobbies, your common ways are similiar or not. That decides and builds a good relationship and makes it last longer. Beyond and after that it's all up to you and the other person. That is my advice to you if you want to be in a relationship with someone and hesitate on deciding, about what to do.
     
  10. isolation_years

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    yeah, if you try and make someone love you, you just end up still alone and embarassing yourself (not to mention the time you wasted)....it's happened to me and i'm sure plenty of others. like nymphx said, there are plenty of fish in the sea, just get out there.

    the worst thing you can do is find an unhealthy way of coping with loneliness or rejection, that's a long winding road you'll find is hard to navigate back from...

    either way good luck, i hope you find someone special to you, someone who wakes up every day overjoyed that he's with you, i think most decent people at least deserve companionship.
     
  11. MadTinus

    MadTinus Language enthusiast

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    Well said, Illinair.
     
  12. Silent paragon

    Silent paragon • • • – • • – – • – –

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    Just be friends with everyone. That works out quite well.
     
  13. Lyre's Harmony

    Lyre's Harmony Lunatic Soul

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    Just dont be friends with anyone. That works out quite well.
     
  14. LifeDepraved

    LifeDepraved My soul got a crack

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    Keep a tight group of friends. Branching out leads to problems from my experience.
     
  15. isolation_years

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    ^thats nice, but you'll never meet anyone that way, i basicly know my best guy friends and their girlfriends......no real way to find anyone there
     
  16. LifeDepraved

    LifeDepraved My soul got a crack

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    I was just saying in general...had nothing to actually do with the first post...oopz.
     
  17. i aint play this

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    Pretty good advice here.
     
  18. isolation_years

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    ah ok haha, yeah that is the best then, i spend every weekend with pretty much the same tight group
     
  19. LifeDepraved

    LifeDepraved My soul got a crack

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    I tend to go to bars and scope "the scene"...tonight actually too. Right by the uni here...and well if that doesn't go over well, there's always more cheap alcohol. $1.50 pitchers tonight :)
     

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