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Discussion in 'RC' started by einride, Oct 25, 2011.
I'm up to one bottle of vodka per night now
Yeah, me too. I guess we are good then!
Damn. No good can come from me being right about something.
How long have y'all been together? I hope the date night goes well.
You do? I'm not sure that I do. Isn't that fucked up? I think it will just complicate things even more.
Anyway, we've been together for 6.5 years, married for a lil over 4.
Yeah... I think I know what you mean though. It's much easier to make a firm decision on an obviously BAD situation, so you start to actually prefer them as opposed to happier times. The gray area complicates things, and makes life worth living, sure, but a pain in the ass all the same.
The wife and I have been together for 8ish years, married for 3ish of those. The seven year itch happened for us, and it was pretty god damn rough. We were close to splitting, but things are much better these days. Unfortunately I see the elephant in the room, and have brought it up a few times, but she said "it's okay I see about 10 of them," so @ all that.
So hey Erik, ready to get married yet?!
Where the fuck is Lurch?
Aurel is one of 3 reasons I keep a Facebutt account. That dude should be a fucking life coach.
we've been together for five years and counting but i don't worry a lot about marriage
as a non-religious [king] dude, i don't really think marriage has much meaning for me beyond strictly practical matters of law and such
besides, her parents have been "dating" since 1991 without ever marrying, so we're still ahead
Only person I thought about when it came to that "philosopher" type figure that would throw some sagacious advice your way.
How old is your little one? It's a lad aye? I'd say stick around and be miserable until the wee one hits his early teens, then boogie on out. A youngin' needs a male type to teach him how to be a man and such in his early years. You will still be "relatively" young to nab a gal you have a connection with, or alternatively, pull a Doctor Whiskey and spill your seed like Johnny Apple.
It's all about where you spill it. Hence no children at age 37
I don't think there is any ideal age but it would probably be more damaging to a highly impressionable teenager who has a bunch of shit going on internally as it is.
People change over time, in small amounts, but enough over the years to grow apart significantly. Sometimes those are shared interests (kind of irrelevant), or core values (more of a big deal). Put in some legitimate time with her, away from your kid. Make yourself interested and excited in the things that interest her (unless it's some total bullshit like knitting, which while useful, is the most annoying and frustrating thing in life), and get her to do likewise for the things that interest you. Find completely new things to both enjoy together. There's so much in this world to see, experience, and enjoy, that quite frankly it's nonsense that neither of you can find some common ground or interests. You actually have the important part down, you love who she is and the qualities that make up the person she is.
After some legitimate effort if you find there's really nothing there, move on. If you come to that decision together there's no reason it can't be amiable, and it won't affect your kid negatively like people seem to think. Kids don't get fucked up because there isn't 100% presence of both parents. They get fucked up from the fallout of a horrible divorce and the negative post-divorce relationship between parents.
Actually there's a lot of research showing correlation between divorce and negative outcomes for children regardless of the way the divorce goes down - amiably or horribly...doesn't seem to matter.
Otherwise, your advice is impressive.
Hey now my parents divorced early and I turned out just fine.
i feel for ya. we are in the same boat. we've been sticking it out for about two years. ive almost moved out, but i dont want my kids to ask when dad is coming home. that thought depresses me even more because i love the little fuckers.
make sacrifices for her. show you care. bring flowers.
if you cant do that for her, at least do it for the kid. if you still cant, get out and fuck other bitches
I don't know what advice I could give, as I've only been married for two years, and my relationship with my husband was very non-traditional from the start. I will say, though, that when Derick and I broke up after almost 8 years, something happened with me, and my desire to ever have romance/courtship/passion/whatever again went away. I just didn't want to bother with it anymore; to hell with it. My husband's past relationships had also exhausted him emotionally. As friends, we talked a lot about what we'd been through, what we wanted in life, what our personal strengths and weaknesses are, and such. That led to us deciding that we might make a good team, and we do! Our decisions to become a couple and then to get married were both very logic-based. Zero romance from the start, but a very deep understanding of each other, and a lot of laughter. We still laugh at each other from morning to night, and I think the day we'll be in trouble is the day we stop laughing at each other. That's not to say that we don't have good sex or that there's no attraction, because we do and there is...but I think that our success as a couple has had something to do with that playing such a small role in our beginnings. So far so good. Now I feel all emotional. Damnit.
Still don't want any slobbering kids.