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Who here wipes their ass with baby wipes?

Discussion in 'Nevermore' started by craptastic, Aug 7, 2013.

  1. craptastic

    craptastic Member

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    Common question I ask at parties, or any gathering for that matter....

    Who uses baby wipes after shitting? Most will say that they have no need for them, that dry toilet paper works well and cleans them. So I counter with this....


    You think you can get clean with a dry piece of paper? Go to the park, find a pile of dog shit and smear it on your arm. Now, try to wipe it clean off with dry toilet paper. Smear shit on your clean arm now and wipe it off with a baby wipe.

    Tell me which arm you'd rather lick.


    Use baby wipes people, if you don't, your ass is shitty and your underoos are stained. Your significant other may appreciate your taint smelling more like baby wipes than dirty butthole and sweat too.
     
  2. derrickm

    derrickm Member

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    I use them religiously. Once you start, you'll never go back. Best thing for your asshole ever.
     
  3. Shpongled

    Shpongled Member

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    I use them when I am backpacking for sure. Good way to clean your hands off afterwards up in the high country.
     
  4. Tide In Mind Out

    Tide In Mind Out Active Member

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    Most days, I carry around a small spray bottle filled with a mix of diluted tea tree oil and lavender oil. When sprayed on a paper towel, it makes a good freshen-upper for butts, crotches, and armpits (separate paper towel for each). It especially comes in handy during the summer, as I do a lot of walking between buildings at work and walking to & from train stations.
     
  5. Krigloch the Furious

    Krigloch the Furious Pants full of poo

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  6. neal

    neal wizard in black

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    only when i get the red eye
     
  7. Dead Winter

    Dead Winter STAHP

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    If it's a bad poop, I'll use the bidet afterwards.
     
  8. craptastic

    craptastic Member

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    You shower after EVERY shit?
     
  9. Captain Beard

    Captain Beard No longer active

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    Like Kevin said, camping.
     
  10. Traxan

    Traxan Member

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    This reminds me of an interview with the band, on the Obsidian Conspiracy tour I think, where Warrel talks about coming down with what he called "tour butt," from using low-grade toilet paper in clubs and motels. There's an ailment you don't hear about much.
     
  11. Krigloch the Furious

    Krigloch the Furious Pants full of poo

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    It would be nice. But na
     
  12. craptastic

    craptastic Member

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    So, you have a shitty ass.
     
  13. Morbides

    Morbides Member

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  14. TomAwesome

    TomAwesome I LIKE JUICE!

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    I don't use "baby wipes" per se, but I always have the flushable adult equivalent by the toilet. I can't get comfortable if I feel like there's still shit on my cornhole. They're also wonderfully handy when it's hot (as it usually is here in Texas) to avoid sitting in ball soup, which I also find to be horribly uncomfortable. It's a reasonable alternative to showering three to five times a day.
     
  15. Krigloch the Furious

    Krigloch the Furious Pants full of poo

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    It's a sloppy mess.
     
  16. Sentient 6

    Sentient 6 harmless parasite

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    Will Smith said once in an interview that baby wipes were like a shower in the middle of the day. Very true, so very true.
     
  17. AsylumAnomaly

    AsylumAnomaly very strange little girl

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    As a girl... one word: camping.
     
  18. El Stormo

    El Stormo Member

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    I don't wipe. I just squat in a public fountain.
     
  19. Shpongled

    Shpongled Member

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    Haha yeah. I don't know what I get wiped with. Ask my butler, he'd know. He does all the work. I just stand there.
     
  20. Morbides

    Morbides Member

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