close friends ...

[lurch70]

interesting little article on the circle of close friends we have in the US

http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/06/23/friends.health.reut/index.html

I am luckily blessed with a close knit circle and cherish them so, but it is scary in some ways ... as I do have some friends that besides me don't really rely on anyone else for advice.

what do you think the main issues are behind this?

 

[Krilons Resa]

I guess I fall in the same group.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

i've got 3 or 4 or so.

 

[MajestikMøøse]

actual people: 1
anonymous internet confidants: 4879834698398234765

 

[Captain Beard]

I don't trust anyone I know with some things after a few disasters with former confidants and people who should've kept their mouths shut.

 

[Thanatopsis123]

I've noticed my own circle of close friends dwindle. I would say I had 4-6 in high school and now, five years later, I'm down to around 2. Then again I wonder if my definition of a close friend is the same as other's. In that article they seem to be defining it by whether the person is somebody you can confide in and expect help from (and not in some trivial matter). I would say the two I consider close friends I would expect to help me in most situations but I have no one I confide in completely. Does anyone have a person they truly confide in completely? I've wondered that lately.

 

[JayKeeley]

Does anyone have a person they truly confide in completely? I've wondered that lately.

Yeah I have two: my wife, and my best friend (who I've known since I was about 10).

The way it seems to work here (for the most part) is that you normally find your best friends at university -- however, once uni is over, most people move away, and since the USA is SO big, it's difficult to stay in touch and so you resort to making new friends at work.

But I'm confused about a couple of things...

If you live in a city, it should be MUCH easier to meet/keep friends. At least compared to the suburbs...

Also, if you haven't even graduated university yet and not yet working 9-5, there shouldn't be any reason why you should spend 15 hours a day on the internet when you should be out living it large, yo.

 

[lurch70]

If you live in a city, it should be MUCH easier to meet/keep friends. At least compared to the suburbs...

it is much easier to meet new people in a city, but harder to keep them, usually due to the vagabond nature of some, especially in NYC ...

the suburbs might be harder to make initial contact, but people usually stick around for a long time, usually forever.

 

[NAD]

Does anyone have a person they truly confide in completely? I've wondered that lately.

Mom. I can discuss anything and everything with her, and sometimes do.

Also I have a surprising amount of trust for my still-pretty-new girlfriend, goes the opposite way as well. I'm not used to meeting new people that I trust without question, but I'm not going to allow myself to be afraid of an incredibly good thing.

Other than them two, I have 3 very close male friends. Over the past 6 years my circle of dicks has gone from about 30 people to around 6, and I'm perfectly happy with that.

 

[Necromunchkin]

I think I can say I've noticed a similar trend. I really don't make new friends, haven't for almost ten years. But, I've maintained certain friendships over that time, and these are people I would truly trust with my life. The hard part is we live in seperate states. For the grand total, I would say six truly close friends (more like family). But I've never been one for aquaintences either.

 

[cthulufhtagn]

Nearly a quarter of people surveyed said they had "zero" close friends with whom to discuss personal matters. More than 50 percent named two or fewer confidants, most often immediate family members, the researchers said.

wow, that's amazing, a full quarter said zero!

i've never had a huge social circle, but i think i have more close friends now than ever and definitely several that are like brothers to me. we keep it drama-free, fuck that chick bs...i know that if i get frustrated with a friend and mouth off to another friend about how much he's pissing me off, he isn't going to turn around and tell everyone.

 

[J.]

Also, if you haven't even graduated university yet and not yet working 9-5, there shouldn't be any reason why you should spend 15 hours a day on the internet when you should be out living it large, yo.

Haha, no doubt. I didn't even start posting on the internet until after I had graduated COLLEGE and found that 8-5 (do 9-5 people get a lunch?) job that allowed me to surf the web.

College time is too precious.

The only ones I tell my personal shit to is my wife and my dad.

 

[unhinged]

Does anyone have a person they truly confide in completely? I've wondered that lately.

no not completely
I keep a lot of shit to myself