"Poser" is a stupid word, "false" is better
You can define that easier too, people who lap up MTV/Kerrang/Metal Hammer perceptions of metal. Plenty such people are my friends though, it just frustrates me that they're not keen on exploring.
Gavin speaks the truth. Metal fans are generally just as tedious as any other adolescent social group. Anybody who refers to himself as a "metalhead" immediately identifies himself as a contemptible dunce
Yes indeed. And the most favourable metal fans I have met, don't define themselves as a product of their subculture. I'm a part of this subculture (if at all) because I love the music and other fans are generally of the same bent as me.
have gender inappropriate hair that looks silly anyway
Back when our parents were young, people said that about normal long hair. Any kind of attack on one subculture favouring another is always based on some value system. Part of tolerance for other subcultures for me, is being aware that one's distaste for this and that about other groups is down to one's value-system (e.g. that long hair is cool and side parting is not). Subjective thing, basically.
If you want to meet some real arsehole metalheads, black metal probably has the greatest concentration of them, and it's more or less my favourite style of metal and the better half of it is the most thoughtful style of metal and thinks outside simple subcultural terms. A lot of people are still generally nice but it is known for being populated with people who are very difficult and certainly not as approachable as the average metal fan. Fortunately, for the most part, the only people really intent on giving you a hard time or making you uncomfortable just do it on the internet. And when you meet them in person they're these unimpressive losers with this Beavis-style snigger who are either quiet as a mouse or just trying to wind people up. That or neurotic and unemployed for psychological health reasons.
For me being laid back makes things pleasant but it's not the whole story for me, sometimes it's good to meet a slight dickhead who's actually got something to say. As long as they're not out to make people uncomfortable or play some petty game of one-upmanship, I don't mind. Not to say being thoughtful and being pleasant are mutually exclusive. It's just, y'know, if you're only into gossip and watching adultswim stuff, I'm not really interested and they'll show little interest in me.
BTW, church-burning doesn't really happen nowadays, because it only caused more determination from the church-going community. And in this country and time, community is exactly what's lacking and so destroying a church (despite my qualms about abrahamic religions) is the last thing I'd do if I were nuts as such.